J.O.Y (Self Denial)

Millipede: Part 6

May 30, 2012 By Suzanne Calulu 21 Comments

patriarch

by Millipede I hated the the underlying spirit which had crept into our marriage; it was a peevish, disapproving air that my husband had taken on. In our “heathen” days my husband had a happy go lucky air. This was endearing and made up for the fact that he could be irresponsible. Under Christian patriarchy [...]

Filed Under: A Woman's Choice, Accountability, Alienation, Bible Interpretation, Biblical Culture, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Botkin Syndrome, Boundaries, Christian Modesty, Coercive Religious Groups (Cults), Control, Cultural vs. Normative, Defrauding, Denim Jumpers, Elitism, Emotional Incest, Father Worship, Fear of Hell, Formulaic Religion, Fundamentalism, Gender Equality, Help Meet, Home Church, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, Like-Minded Fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, Male Headship, Manipulation, Markers of a Cult, Marriage Covenant, Meek and Quiet Spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Millipede, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, Pater Familias, Patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull & the Bible, Quiverfull Topics, Recovering from Spiritual Abuse, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Righteousness, Shame, Spiritual Issues, Submission, The Godly Woman, Titus 2 Woman, Toxic Relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Uncategorized Tagged With: A Woman’s Choice, Accountability, Alienation, bible interpretation, Biblical Culture, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Botkin Syndrome, boundaries, Christian Modesty, Coercive Religious Groups (Cults), Control, Cultural vs. Normative, Defrauding, Denim Jumpers, Elitism, Emotional Incest, Father Worship, fear of hell, Formulaic Religion, fundamentalism, gender equality, help meet, home church, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, like minded fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, male headship, Manipulation, Markers of a Cult, Marriage Covenant, meek and quiet spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Millipede, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, Pater Familias, patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull & the Bible, Quiverfull Topics, Recovering from Spiritual Abuse, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Righteousness, Shame, Spiritual Issues, Submission, The Godly Woman, titus 2 woman, toxic relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Uncategorized 21 Comments

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 5

May 29, 2012 By Suzanne Calulu 9 Comments

by Calulu So when we left off Tina was still believing that Tom was coming home. We were having nothing to do with the Smiths and Tom doesn’t come home. What he does do is go to my husband and ask him to talk to me about working a few mornings a week at his [...]

Filed Under: A Woman's Choice, Accountability, Adultery, Alienation, Anxiety, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Boundaries, Calling Husband "Lord", Covenant Breaking, Depression, Divorce & Remarriage, Domestic Abuse, Educational Neglect, Elitism, Emotional Incest, Emotional Purity, Enmeshment, Femininity vs Feminism, Formulaic Religion, Fundamentalism, Help Meet, Homeschool, Husbands Love Your Wives, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, Like-Minded Fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, Male Headship, Manipulation, Marriage Covenant, Maternal Martyr, Meek and Quiet Spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Motherhood, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, Parentification of Children, Pater Familias, Patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull Topics, Self-Preservation Factor, Self-Righteousness, Separation - Individuation, Servant Leadership, Shame, Shunning, Socialization, Spiritual Adultery, Spiritual Issues, Stewardship, Stockholm Syndrome, Submission, The Godly Woman, Titus 2 Woman, Toxic Relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Uncategorized, Unequally Yoked, Weaker Vessel, Who Was That Masked Man by Calulu Tagged With: A Woman’s Choice, Accountability, Adultery, Alienation, Anxiety, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, boundaries, Calling Husband “Lord”, Covenant Breaking, depression, Divorce & Remarriage, Domestic Abuse, Educational Neglect, Elitism, Emotional Incest, Emotional Purity, Enmeshment, Femininity vs Feminism, Formulaic Religion, fundamentalism, help meet, homeschool, Husbands love your wives, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, like minded fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, male headship, Manipulation, Marriage Covenant, Maternal Martyr, meek and quiet spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Motherhood, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, Parentification of Children, Pater Familias, patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull Topics, Self-Preservation Factor, Self-Righteousness, Separation – Individuation, Servant Leadership, Shame, Shunning, Socialization, Spiritual Adultery, Spiritual Issues, Stewardship, Stockholm Syndrome, Submission, The Godly Woman, titus 2 woman, toxic relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Uncategorized, unequally yoked, Weaker Vessel, Who Was That Masked Man by Calulu 9 Comments

Millipede: Part 5

May 27, 2012 By Suzanne Calulu 11 Comments

headless

by Millipede Peevish men, wives who watched every word and worse they really embraced the submission beliefs. The wives would gripe very rarely about their husbands and the work and if they did they were sure to say that they weren’t in disagreement with the system, ,merely letting off a little steam. The women [...]

Filed Under: A Woman's Choice, Accountability, Alienation, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Big Happy Family Vision, Botkin Syndrome, Boundaries, Chores, Chores, Chores!, Christian Modesty, Coercive Religious Groups (Cults), Control, Denim Jumpers, Elitism, Father Worship, Fear of Hell, Femininity vs Feminism, Formulaic Religion, Fruit of the Spirit, Fundamentalism, Gender Equality, Group Think, Help Meet, Homemaking, Homemaking Skills, Hospitality, Hospitality, Husbands Love Your Wives, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, Like-Minded Fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, Male Headship, Manipulation, Markers of a Cult, Marriage Covenant, Mary vs. Martha, Meek and Quiet Spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Millipede, Motherhood, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, Pater Familias, Patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Proverbs 31 Woman, Purity, Quiverfull Topics, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Preservation Factor, Self-Righteousness, Shame, Shunning, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Issues, Submission, The Godly Woman, Titus 2 Woman, Toxic Relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Weaker Vessel Tagged With: A Woman’s Choice, Accountability, Alienation, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Big Happy Family Vision, Botkin Syndrome, boundaries, Chores, Chores!, Christian Modesty, Coercive Religious Groups (Cults), Control, Denim Jumpers, Elitism, Father Worship, fear of hell, Femininity vs Feminism, Formulaic Religion, fruit of the spirit, fundamentalism, gender equality, Group Think, help meet, Homemaking, Homemaking Skills, hospitality, Husbands love your wives, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, like minded fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, male headship, Manipulation, Markers of a Cult, Marriage Covenant, Mary vs. Martha, meek and quiet spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Millipede, Motherhood, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, Pater Familias, patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Proverbs 31 Woman, Purity, Quiverfull Topics, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Preservation Factor, Self-Righteousness, Shame, Shunning, spiritual abuse, Spiritual Issues, Submission, The Godly Woman, titus 2 woman, toxic relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Weaker Vessel 11 Comments

Millipede: Part 4

May 23, 2012 By Suzanne Calulu 6 Comments

control

by Millipede Although the “dress code” was the most glaring example of our changing mindset.There were other changes which were just as bad if not worse in the long run. My husband started to implement “order in the home”. Although not as extreme as the other men, he considered himself the head of the household. [...]

Filed Under: A Woman's Choice, Accountability, Biblical Chastisement, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Bounded Choice, Chores, Chores, Chores!, Christian Modesty, Control, Denim Jumpers, Father Worship, Fundamentalism, Gender Equality, Group Think, Help Meet, Homemaking, Homemaking Skills, Hospitality, Hospitality, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, Like-Minded Fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, Male Headship, Manipulation, Markers of a Cult, Marriage Covenant, Meek and Quiet Spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Millipede, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, Patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull Topics, Recovering from Spiritual Abuse, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Righteousness, Shame, Spiritual Issues, Submission, The Godly Woman, Toxic Relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Weaker Vessel Tagged With: A Woman’s Choice, Accountability, biblical chastisement, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Bounded Choice, Chores, Chores!, Christian Modesty, Control, Denim Jumpers, Father Worship, fundamentalism, gender equality, Group Think, help meet, Homemaking, Homemaking Skills, hospitality, Isolation, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Judgementalism, Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Learned Helplessness, Legalism, like minded fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, male headship, Manipulation, Markers of a Cult, Marriage Covenant, meek and quiet spirit, Mental / Emotional Health, Millipede, Mr. Command Man, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, NLQ Stories, patriarchy, Perfectionism, Personal Autonomy, Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull Topics, Recovering from Spiritual Abuse, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Righteousness, Shame, Spiritual Issues, Submission, The Godly Woman, toxic relationships, Umbrella of Authority, Weaker Vessel 6 Comments

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 3

May 22, 2012 By Suzanne Calulu 8 Comments

by Calulu When we last left everyone Tom was in and out of his home with Tina. Tina was determined to wait out his infidelity and we were trying to rally around Tina since she was disabled and alone. Things are about to get beyond strange, with the ripples affecting a number of families at [...]

Filed Under: Accountability, Adultery, Any Cause Divorce, Baking / Cooking from Scratch, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Boundaries, Chores, Chores, Chores!, Divorce & Remarriage, Help Meet, Homemaking, Hospitality, Hospitality, Husbands Love Your Wives, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Legalism, Like-Minded Fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, Manipulation, Mary vs. Martha, Men are Visual, Mental / Emotional Health, Motherhood, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, Patriarchy, Personal Autonomy, Prosperity Gospel, Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull Topics, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Preservation Factor, Self-Righteousness, Servant Leadership, Spiritual Abuse & Recovery, Spiritual Issues, Stewardship, Submission, The Godly Woman, Toxic Relationships, Who Was That Masked Man by Calulu Tagged With: Accountability, Adultery, Any Cause Divorce, Baking / Cooking from Scratch, Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, boundaries, Chores, Chores!, Divorce & Remarriage, help meet, Homemaking, hospitality, Husbands love your wives, Issues, J.O.Y (Self Denial), Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario, Legalism, like minded fellowship, Maintaining Appearances, Manipulation, Mary vs. Martha, Men are Visual, Mental / Emotional Health, Motherhood, NLQ Miscellany, NLQ Open Comments, patriarchy, Personal Autonomy, Prosperity Gospel, Proverbs 31 Woman, Quiverfull Topics, Self-Abnegation / Martydom, Self-Preservation Factor, Self-Righteousness, Servant Leadership, Spiritual Abuse & Recovery, Spiritual Issues, Stewardship, Submission, The Godly Woman, toxic relationships, Who Was That Masked Man by Calulu 8 Comments

Vyckie Garrison started No Longer Quivering to tell the story of her “escape” from the Quiverfull movement.

Over time, NLQ has developed into a valuable resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle. Several more former QF adherents are now contributing their stories to NLQ and our collective voice makes these Quiverfull warnings impossible to dismiss or ignore.

NLQ is a gathering place for women escaping and recovering from spiritual abuse.

Listen to Vyckie's Story now:

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