Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 2a

by Incongruous Circumspection Make sure to familiarize yourself with the first Basic Need of a Husband, according to Bill Gothard - A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive. You can read my response to this nonsense here: Introduction Part 1a Part 1b: Women? Goals? Who are YOU Kidding?! Part 1c: Men are Fragile and Women are Manipulative Fools Part 1d: Husbands are Omniscient and Wives Must Give Sex Now, let's move on to the next Basic Need of a Husband. [#2. A man needs a wife who honors his leadership.] In my opinion, Bill is padding the numbers to get to God's "perfect number" of seven. Honoring the husband's leadership is only slightly different than the first … [Read more...]

Karma Will Run Over Your Dogma & Squash It

by Calulu (Editorial note: What follows below is my own personal thoughts on this, no one elses, I'm not speaking for the group, just me. I cannot stay silent to this. If you're offended or triggered I'm so sorry. Warning if you are triggered by scriptures or the like.) This morning several of us at NLQ were directed to look at "Women's Prayer Group Praying That the Women at MRFF All Get Incurable Breast Cancer"  posting on  Free Thought Blogs. Apparently there is a group of ladies calling themselves Christians who've decided to make praying for the death of anyone connected with the Military Religious Freedom Foundation their number one priority. And why is that? Perhaps because … [Read more...]

Sex Confessions and the Single Fundy: Adventures in Recovery

by Calulu (or be careful who you tell your secrets to..) Bless me Father for I have sinned... told you I'd been raised Catholic. One of the big rituals from my days in Catholic school was the time of confession. At first I found it frightening, going into that big wooden closet-like structure, sitting down with only a metal grill separating you from a priest. You usually couldn't make out exactly which Father was hearing your confession. It was always awkward, trying to scare up a list of all the bad stuff you'd done that week. I was a shy bookish young girl and nervously squirmed in the confessional trying to come up with my wrong doings, only to sometimes whisper out stuff I … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest Part 3: Daddy’s Girl

by Libby Anne [Editors' note: At the time of writing, Libby Anne and Sierra were unaware of the controversy surrounding Hugo Schwyzer. The discussion of his critique of emotional incest is not an endorsement of Schwyzer by NLQ.] In Part 1 I looked at the definition of emotional incest and in Part 2 I looked at how integral emotional incest is to Christian Patriarchy, but in this segment I want to look at how easy it can be for even ordinary families to be sucked into (admittedly, less intense) patterns of emotional incest. I recently came upon an article called “Princesses, Princes, Daughters, and Dads: Against Emotional Incest.” The author explains his own experiences as the … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part One

by Millipede (Editor's Note: Millipede has been recounting her history of how she came to join a patriarchal lifestyle on our forum starting about six months ago. She's graciously agreed to allow her writing to be reposted here. We thank her for that!) To tell it in a nutshell; my husband and I became part of a reactionary milieu, joining a "movement" which addressed various issues such as gun rights, survival ism and so on. I still hold my beliefs pertaining to these issues and so this is not an indictment of "right wing extremism". In fact those early years were wonderful and I would gladly join such a group. I was not new to such views. Years before I even met my husband, I had … [Read more...]

Authoritarian Parenting and Emotional Repression

by Latebloomer I have a lot of respect for my dad. He's thoughtful and generous to all of us. His constant reading makes him an interesting and well-informed conversationalist. He makes his life decisions very carefully, yet never looks down on me for making different decisions than him. Instead, he tells me all the time that he loves and misses me, and that he's proud of who I've become. I feel so lucky to have him as my dad. Unfortunately, we have not always gotten along so well. Less than ten years ago, our relationship had been almost completely destroyed thanks to the authoritarian parenting techniques of the fundamentalist Christian homeschooling culture. Authoritarian parenting … [Read more...]

Homeschooled Girls and Trash Cans: The Social Isolation of Homeschooling

by Latebloomer What do homeschooled girls and trash cans have in common? They both only leave the house once a week.   This joke was well-received among homeschooled youth because it rang true for so many of us. For almost all of my teen years, church was the only social activity that I engaged in, the only time during the whole week that I might have a chance to interact with people who were not my immediate family. Making friends in that context, especially as a shy teen girl, seems daunting. However, I had an even greater obstacle to deal with: I was not allowed to participate in youth group. My parents were absolutely terrified of teenage rebellion. Thanks to various … [Read more...]


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