Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 2a

by Incongruous CircumspectionMake sure to familiarize yourself with the first Basic Need of a Husband, according to Bill Gothard - A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive. You can read my response to this nonsense here:Introduction Part 1a Part 1b: Women? Goals? Who are YOU Kidding?! Part 1c: Men are Fragile and Women are Manipulative Fools Part 1d: Husbands are Omniscient and Wives Must Give SexNow, let's move on to the next Basic Need of a Husband.[#2. A man needs a wife who honors his leadership.]In my opinion, Bill is padding the numbers to get to God's "perfect number" of seven. Honoring the husband's leadership is only slightly different than the first … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 1: A Secret Revealed

by Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.As many of you know, my spouse and I got married young after a short parent-supervised courtship. We began our marriage “the right way” according to everything we believed. We had obeyed our parents and stayed pure from emotional relationships or sexual activity, so when we got married neither of us had ever been intimate with any other person. We were wholeheartedly committed to our Christian beliefs at that time, feeling certain that birth control was wrong in almost any circumstance and that men should be the family leaders and women should be submissive. My hus … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part d – Husbands are Omniscient and Wives MUST Give Sex Husbands

by Incongruous CircumspectionIn Part 1c, we learned that men are so fragile, anything a woman does that is not exactly what the bloke is expecting will lead to his demise. Let's finish looking at the first basic need of a husband. *****[Seek your husband’s advice first. A wife should demonstrate loyalty to her husband’s wishes, goals, and standards. Therefore, when a need arises, you should seek your husband’s guidance and counsel first, especially in regard to family issues, rather than seeking advice from other family members and friends.]When Kristine and I first met, I had swallowed this idea whole. I knew all the answers to life and, better yet, knew how to find them in all … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest: The Bottom Line

by Sierra[Editors' note: At the time of writing, Libby Anne and Sierra were unaware of the controversy surrounding Hugo Schwyzer. The discussion of his critique of emotional incest is not an endorsement of Schwyzer by NLQ.]My last two posts, and indeed all my thinking on the subject has led me to some conclusions about the ways that Christian Patriarchy and purity culture enable and even celebrate emotional incest. The following are the cliff notes:Christian patriarchy turns marriage from a relationship to an institution, effectively reversing the historical trend from business partnerships and heir insurance to bonds between two free agents based on love. Evangelical culture … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest: The Mama’s Boy and the Other Woman

by SierraI have already written about the ways that growing up in fundamentalist-evangelical culture made me especially vulnerable to covert incest from my father. There is a flip side to the father-daughter craze in Christian patriarchy, though. I am here to bring you two stories: and one of them isn’t about me!In what would have been my high school years, a miracle happened. Sven, my best friend from my early childhood, came back to my church. We were fourteen. We had been estranged for about three years while his family lived in another state. But we quickly reconnected (not least due to my idealistic hopes that we could pick up where we left off, and some aggressive b … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest: The Junior Wife

[Editors' note: At the time of writing, Libby Anne and Sierra were unaware of the controversy surrounding Hugo Schwyzer. The discussion of his critique of emotional incest is not an endorsement of Schwyzer by NLQ.] by SierraLibby Anne has begun a series on Emotional Incest at Love, Joy, Feminism. In her latest post, she also links Hugo Schwyzer’s striking analysis of the problems with the “Daddy’s Girl” myth and princess culture. The following is my attempt to confirm and add more perspectives to the issue they are bringing to light.As a child of a believer and a nonbeliever, I walked a confusing and sometimes torturous line between the prescriptions of my church and the realities of … [Read more...]

Sexuality: the Elephant in the Room

by LatebloomerMy mom walked into my bedroom and handed me a heavy biology textbook. "Read chapter 13," she told me, breathless and blushing. Then she rushed out. I opened to the appropriate chapter: "The Reproductive System". That was my entire sex education; I was 17 years old.I think we can all agree: sex education should probably be done by people who have said the word "sex" out loud at least once in their lives.My parents' denial of sexuality couldn't stop puberty, and couldn't stop our curiosity about sex. Instead, their attitude clearly showed us kids that we could never go to our parents with any questions or concerns that were related to our sexuality or genitals. For … [Read more...]

Contradictions: Who’s the Visual-est of Them All?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj3dYHwx2mMby SierraFundamentalists argue that women should dress conservatively because men are visual. This is supposedly something women can’t possibly understand, because women are emotional, not visual. Women become attracted to men through flirtation and flattery; indeed, male visuality is like a foreign language to them. Men are not obliged to cover up for women for this reason.However, Libby Anne has brought up the following argument that a fundamentalist father made against women’s right to vote: The first impact of women voters was really felt after the televised Nixon / Kennedy debates.  Nixon, the superior statesman without question, l … [Read more...]


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