Burqas Anyone?

burqas

by CaluluMy daughter and I had a very unexpected thing happen on Friday night. We were in a local fast food joint picking up dinner and ran afoul of a group. Laura had shown up unexpectedly along with her brother and his two best friends. I'd only cooked for my husband and myself so out the door it was to pick up take out.Now all the young adults wanted Chick Fil A, not my favorite place even before the Chick Fil A Appreciation Day but hey, the company weren't the ones sponsoring that day and I don't have the awesome super power to dictate my guests taste bud preferences.As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot I noticed that there was an older school bus painted some … [Read more...]

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Smoke & Mirrors

by VyckieLibby Anne makes an astute point in her recent post at Love, Joy, Feminism: Vision Forum focuses on problems in society, inflates them, and then blames feminism and modernity. Then Vision Forum seeks to fix the problems by turning back the clock to a time that never existed. The version of the past that Vision Forum sells is a myth. The problems we face in society today are not new. Substance abuse, the challenges of balancing motherhood and work, and the devaluation of women have always been with us. Looking back to some idealized imaginary past where families had no problems, mothers happily stayed home and devoted their time to raising their children, and women were valued … [Read more...]

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Tea Party Family Values and the World's Greatest Freak Show

On fundamentalist counterculture & juvenile black market adoption fantasies ... by Vyckie Garrison @ No Longer QuiveringDo you remember when it first dawned on you that your relatives are all a bunch of crackpots and weirdos?  Seems like I was around 8 or 9 — my mother worked all night in the casinos and slept most of the day, leaving me alone to protect my naïve older sister from the depraved advances of Mom's alcoholic boyfriends and worry about my big brother's drug addiction. I couldn't count on my grandparents to help — they were too preoccupied with their own divorce, dating, and remarriage dramas."Holy sugar," I thought to myself, "these people are seriously messed up!" … [Read more...]

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Crushing Daisies ~ Ways in Which Patriarchal Fundamentalism Harms Its Children ~ Part 2: The Little House on the Prairie Fashion Club

by DaisyWhen we were Quiverfull, our family wasn’t nearly so extreme as some regarding dress standards, but we did insist on longish dresses and hair for the girls for several years.This wasn’t all religious nonsense: those Osh Kosh pinnies were tough as hell and could be passed on through all the girls in the family and still look as though they’d hardly been worn. And, despite how my girls remember it, they were actually in fashion at the time. I wasn’t  just sewing our own stuff (although I did that too), Osh Kosh pinnies were bought off the rack in Myer and Target by regular folk as well as fundies like us. However, I’ll admit that we kept it up for longer than was appropriate. And we … [Read more...]

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My Courtship Story ~ Part 8: Courtship Is Not The Answer

by Young Mom @ Permission to LiveLooking back, I like many things about our story. I love that we were very honest about our needs and desires as we understood them at the time. I can imagine it would be more difficult to fall in love with someone and then find out afterwards they don’t want children and you do. I can see the benefits of being straightforward and asking the tough questions right away.On the other hand, there were things that we could not talk about as well. Religious questions weren’t really that relevant, because we were so enmeshed in our families, we hardly had any beliefs that were truly ours, they were all dictated by our families. There are other tough issues that c … [Read more...]

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My Courtship Story ~ Part 7: I Do

by Young Mom @ Permission to LiveWe spent most of our time together at our family homes, so we also spent a lot of our time together trying to evade family. Since we were engaged we were allowed to go on short excursions alone to public places. So we ran errands for the wedding, like picking up my wedding dress after the alterations were finished, or running to the mall to pick out "Hunk"’s wedding band. When we were around my house, we went for lots of walks together, and I even took him up to my secret spot on the garage roof where we could be alone.At the end of June (about 3 weeks out from the wedding) I went on another trip with "Hunk" and his family. We all flew out to spend a week … [Read more...]

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My Courtship Story ~ Part 6: The Countdown

by Young Mom @ Permission to LiveHunk and I and our parents set the wedding date that same night. He was going to graduate school (3 hours away) that August, and we both knew that we did not want to risk our parents nixing a wedding before next summer. A wedding over Christmas or spring break sounded complicated, and we both knew that he would be distracted from his schoolwork driving down to see me. Secretly I felt that I would go insane if I had to go days and days without seeing him. After a few calls to family members who lived some distance away, we settled on a date in July, eight short weeks away.I now had a ring on my finger, and people who knew me at violin classes were shocked, … [Read more...]

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My Courtship Story ~ Part 5: Will You Marry Me?

by Young Mom @ Permission to LiveTwo days later, I was allowed to drive over to “Hunk’s” house for the first time (with a sister along) and when I got there we went for a walk around the block alone (his family was a bit more liberal than mine). I had explained to my Dad that it felt very awkward to not be able to touch at all, and he had approved of us holding hands and promised to give “Hunk” a call to give him permission to do so.So we held hands as we walked, and I told “Hunk” about a dream I’d had where he had told me “well, this has been nice, but you’re not the one for me.” He replied with a shocked look “How could those words come out of my mouth!?” We walked in silence for a few … [Read more...]

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My Courtship Story ~ Part 4: The Singing Again

by Young Mom @ Permission to LiveWe had a good time talking and getting more comfortable being around each other that first day of our courtship. And best of all we were able to see each other again the very next day at Greek class. It was kind of nice to be officially courting, because now we could get down to business and talk in more depth about our beliefs and what we were hoping for in a marriage relationship and children.That Monday after Greek class (while my sisters hung around and waited for me to be ready to leave) we even talked a little bit about ideas for a wedding. Before I left that night “Hunk” gave me a letter to open the next day (he called it “sad Tuesday”) since we wou … [Read more...]

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My Courtship Story ~ Part 3: New Horizons

by Young Mom @ Permission to LiveMid April, my friend the Greek teacher walked up to me at a church event and started talking to me. We chatted about C.S. Lewis and Victor Hugo and suddenly I saw “Hunk” in a different light. He was interesting, he actually listened to stuff I was saying instead of keeping quiet just long enough to formulate his response. When I saw him the next week, he ended up hanging out by me again. We talked, if I walked into another room he would wander in there himself a few moments later. I started to think that maybe he was interested in me, but I still wasn’t sure if I was interested in him.“Jay” was still on Military leave, and he randomly tried to make convers … [Read more...]

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