Freedom From Patriarchy

by ErikaHere in the US, we celebrated our nation's independence and freedom this past Saturday, the 4th of July. This particular holiday always makes me think of my own Independence Day.We had a BBQ with family and friends this past Saturday and while we were sitting inside to stay out of the rain, I was telling my friends about the jumper that my sister had made for herself back when she was 18. I had recently posted the picture of our family on my Facebook account and one of my friends asked, "Does your sister really have a cow on her jumper?"Yes, she did.In fact, she had the whole farm SCENE. The field, the red barn, the fruit trees, the cows, etc. My mom, sisters and I all … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: How can I help my "Quiverfull" friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?   There are two important factors to consider in this situation:   1) How commit … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: What is Quiverfull?

by Vyckie  Q: What is "Quiverfull?""Quiverfull" is a convenient, though I believe, somewhat unfortunate term which we're using at No Longer Quivering to describe a family lifestyle which is growing in popularity among evangelical Christians ~ particularly those who home educate their children.Quiverfull ~ is the idea that truly godly families will "trust the Lord" with their family planning. Children are viewed as unmitigated blessings ("As arrows in the hand of the mighty man, so are the children of ones youth, happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them") and as such, the couple is willing to have as many children as the Lord chooses to bless them with. Artificial or chemical … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #1 ~ All the Responsibility, None of the Authority

by VyckieAs a convinced "Proverbs 31 woman" ~ dedicated to serving the Lord by honoring, supporting, and even "serving" my husband ~ I always understood that according to the biblical teachings of patriarchy, it is actually the husband who assumes ultimate responsibility for his household. (One day, Warren would be standing before the Lord to give an account for his success or failure in leading the family in accordance with God's revealed Word).So ~ I believed that while I had only the temporal burden of submitting to my husband's (often incompetent and wrong-headed) leadership in this life ~ it was Warren who actually bore the weight of responsibility in Eternity ~ where it really … [Read more...]

Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario

 by VyckieI *finally* got a chance to get to the theater and watch the new Star Trek ~ and I'll admit that I didn't completely "get it" ~ what are they planning to do now, start the series over with the new James T. Kirk and crew who're now different people due to the alternate reality created by the interference of time travelers?Don't answer that one ~ because this post is not actually about Star Trek. LOLThe movie got me thinking about the popular science fiction theme of no-win scenarios as represented by the Kobayashi Maru training exercise designed by Starfleet to test the character of cadets by creating a situation in which it is impossible to win and the individual must … [Read more...]

Here’s just a tiny little example for ya ‹(ô¿ô)›

By VyckieAs I have been telling my No Longer Quivering story here on the blog, I keep repeating that Warren was "difficult" to talk to because his communication skills were extremely poor. This afternoon, I was reminded of an incident which I really want to share here because it's an excellent example of the situation we were dealing with.This is actually funny in an oh-that's-so-pathetic sort of way.Three of my girls (Berea, Chassé, and Hazelle) have a rare genetic bone condition which they inherited from me. They receive treatment at the Shriners Children's Hospital in Minneapolis ~ about 7-8 hours away from our home. All three girls see two different orthopedic specialists twice a … [Read more...]

Dear Happy Full-quiver-er …

by VyckieFrequently in the comments section here at NLQ, we hear from women who are living the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle and are loving it ~ these women often feel that No Longer Quivering is portraying *all* QF/P families as oppressive and abusive ~ and understandably, they feel defensive about the perceived attack on their freely-chosen lifestyle.Early on, when we first started this blog, there was an exchange along these lines which I really have been wanting to highlight ~ and I'm finally getting around to digging these posts out of the comment section and bringing them front and center because I believe that the response from "Journey" deserves some serious … [Read more...]

We didn't want to be BALANCED

by VyckieMe & my boys ~ at a homeschooling conference ~ soaking up new ideas about how to live a godly lifestyle that would be pleasing to the Lord.Many NLQ readers have expressed their observation that in any healthy belief system or chosen lifestyle, there needs to be "balance" ~ a quick glance through the comment section will yield plenty of observations that we've gone from "one extreme to the other."Part of the reason I'm writing this blog is to hopefully help those who have never personally been steeped in the fundamentalist mindset get a glimpse inside the world and ~ more significantly ~ the head of one who's been there and done that. So ~ with that goal in mind, let me … [Read more...]

It's about a VISION

Vyckie's family 2007An important consideration that's obviously on everyone's mind here can be summed up this way: All those years that I published a "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper and I was writing articles for home school magazines encouraging others to live a QF/patriarchal lifestyle ~ we seemed to have a really nice, happy family. The Bennett Family was a role model for other Christian families ~ we were even honored by the governor of Nebraska in 2003 as "Family of the Year." I've shared many testimonies of God obviously working in our lives. (Be sure to click that link.) Now I've set up a blog and I'm writing a book saying this lifestyle ~ and the Christian worldview which … [Read more...]

It's about SUPERSTITION

by Vyckie  At the CYIA Spring Retreat ~ all weekend long, I fought the fear that I had just invited disaster upon myself and my children... Laura's story, Three Lilacs and a Statue made me think about another topic which Laura and I have discussed on several occasions ~ so I talked to her about it again and we decided we would write this post together since "superstition" was such a HUGE part of both of our experiences.I'll go first...Vyckie: Part of my "submissive wife" mindset included the belief that unless I had my husband's approval, whatever idea or plan that I had was doomed and I might as well not even bother. The practicality of that belief was complicated by the fact that … [Read more...]


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