No-Win Scenario #1 ~ All the Responsibility, None of the Authority

by VyckieAs a convinced "Proverbs 31 woman" ~ dedicated to serving the Lord by honoring, supporting, and even "serving" my husband ~ I always understood that according to the biblical teachings of patriarchy, it is actually the husband who assumes ultimate responsibility for his household. (One day, Warren would be standing before the Lord to give an account for his success or failure in leading the family in accordance with God's revealed Word).So ~ I believed that while I had only the temporal burden of submitting to my husband's (often incompetent and wrong-headed) leadership in this life ~ it was Warren who actually bore the weight of responsibility in Eternity ~ where it really … [Read more...]

Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario

 by VyckieI *finally* got a chance to get to the theater and watch the new Star Trek ~ and I'll admit that I didn't completely "get it" ~ what are they planning to do now, start the series over with the new James T. Kirk and crew who're now different people due to the alternate reality created by the interference of time travelers?Don't answer that one ~ because this post is not actually about Star Trek. LOLThe movie got me thinking about the popular science fiction theme of no-win scenarios as represented by the Kobayashi Maru training exercise designed by Starfleet to test the character of cadets by creating a situation in which it is impossible to win and the individual must … [Read more...]

Here’s just a tiny little example for ya ‹(ô¿ô)›

By VyckieAs I have been telling my No Longer Quivering story here on the blog, I keep repeating that Warren was "difficult" to talk to because his communication skills were extremely poor. This afternoon, I was reminded of an incident which I really want to share here because it's an excellent example of the situation we were dealing with.This is actually funny in an oh-that's-so-pathetic sort of way.Three of my girls (Berea, Chassé, and Hazelle) have a rare genetic bone condition which they inherited from me. They receive treatment at the Shriners Children's Hospital in Minneapolis ~ about 7-8 hours away from our home. All three girls see two different orthopedic specialists twice a … [Read more...]

Dear Happy Full-quiver-er …

by VyckieFrequently in the comments section here at NLQ, we hear from women who are living the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle and are loving it ~ these women often feel that No Longer Quivering is portraying *all* QF/P families as oppressive and abusive ~ and understandably, they feel defensive about the perceived attack on their freely-chosen lifestyle.Early on, when we first started this blog, there was an exchange along these lines which I really have been wanting to highlight ~ and I'm finally getting around to digging these posts out of the comment section and bringing them front and center because I believe that the response from "Journey" deserves some serious … [Read more...]

We didn't want to be BALANCED

by VyckieMe & my boys ~ at a homeschooling conference ~ soaking up new ideas about how to live a godly lifestyle that would be pleasing to the Lord.Many NLQ readers have expressed their observation that in any healthy belief system or chosen lifestyle, there needs to be "balance" ~ a quick glance through the comment section will yield plenty of observations that we've gone from "one extreme to the other."Part of the reason I'm writing this blog is to hopefully help those who have never personally been steeped in the fundamentalist mindset get a glimpse inside the world and ~ more significantly ~ the head of one who's been there and done that. So ~ with that goal in mind, let me … [Read more...]

It's about a VISION

Vyckie's family 2007An important consideration that's obviously on everyone's mind here can be summed up this way: All those years that I published a "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper and I was writing articles for home school magazines encouraging others to live a QF/patriarchal lifestyle ~ we seemed to have a really nice, happy family. The Bennett Family was a role model for other Christian families ~ we were even honored by the governor of Nebraska in 2003 as "Family of the Year." I've shared many testimonies of God obviously working in our lives. (Be sure to click that link.) Now I've set up a blog and I'm writing a book saying this lifestyle ~ and the Christian worldview which … [Read more...]

It's about SUPERSTITION

by Vyckie  At the CYIA Spring Retreat ~ all weekend long, I fought the fear that I had just invited disaster upon myself and my children... Laura's story, Three Lilacs and a Statue made me think about another topic which Laura and I have discussed on several occasions ~ so I talked to her about it again and we decided we would write this post together since "superstition" was such a HUGE part of both of our experiences.I'll go first...Vyckie: Part of my "submissive wife" mindset included the belief that unless I had my husband's approval, whatever idea or plan that I had was doomed and I might as well not even bother. The practicality of that belief was complicated by the fact that … [Read more...]

Three Lilacs and a Statue

by LauraI had 9 perfectly normal pregnancies and deliveries. Well, my ninth baby was premature but things worked out fine and we had her at home and kept her at home. She was just a bit on the tiny side but all went fine.Over the course of the next 2 years, I experienced 3 devastating miscarriages. One right after the other. I was stunned. My body had never betrayed me like this before. I never had trouble conceiving or bearing children. Why was this happening to me? I had never felt this kind of hurt, this bereavement. As a Christian, I comforted myself with the thought that ultimately we all wanted our children to end up in heaven, right? Well, I had 3 that had made it there safely … [Read more...]

Patriarchy IS in the Bible … I think it's even in the Godhead which is part of the reason I've tossed Him out of my life ;-)

Okay ~ I've noticed that over on my "We've been thinking" post about the Birth Control/Abortion Connection ~ you all are already posting comments about just how "Biblical" the whole patriarchy/women's submission/male headship-thing is ...Since I'm such an organized person, I'd really like to have that discussion under a separate post. Only I don't have time this morning to write my thoughts down on the subject. So ~ I've put the summary of my thoughts in the subject title ~ and I'll be back after a while to write the rest of it.For now ~ don't wait on me ... go ahead and bring your thoughts and comments over here to this post. I'd love to hear from you ~ I truly appreciate the respectful … [Read more...]

It's about STRONG WOMEN

by Vyckie  My oldest daughter, Angel and my mom, Lou Ann. So many of the visitors who are reading the stories on this blog have left a comment to the affect that, "You & Laura are amazingly strong women."I've actually done some thinking about that ~ and wanted to share a bit of it here.We have been "strong," yes ~ but is that such a good thing? For myself, I finally realized that being so strong enabled me to live a life that was not healthy for me or my children ~ or for my ex-husband for that matter. As long as I could "handle it" ~ I did.Allow me to boast for just a minute about how "strong" I was.I was so "strong" that I bore seven children ~ six of them in eleven years ~ … [Read more...]


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