Safe Expectations as the Safest Place in Recovery

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and  used with permission I used this quote a short time ago, but I read something that brought it to my mind again. There is so much truth to the saying that “we learn what we live.” Alice Miller makes that fact so clear for us by explaining why people who have been hurt often repeat the same tactics that were used against them. But how does this relate to feeling safer? … [Read more...]

The Rhythm of the Trauma Trap: Intrusion and Constriction

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceImages by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace Several authors identify post-traumatic stress by three cardinal signs. The cluster of symptoms is described as hyperarousal. Intrusion becomes the cause which produces these symptoms, and constriction results as the response to the pressure of both. … [Read more...]

Part 4 – The Map is Not the Territory: Adventures in Abiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images in the piece by Cindy Kunsman and used with permission. And the territory is definitely not the map.   This saying came from a scientist and philosopher named Alfred Korzybski who launched the study of how human understanding and the nervous system intersected, particularly concerning how language shapes our perceptions. He was a Polish-born Russian who served in World War I as an intelligence officer, but he became a citizen of the U.S. In 1940.The original phrase that Korzybski coined in 1933 illustrates the problem of mistaking an abstraction of something for the genuine article. Another wise f … [Read more...]

5 Early Warning Signs of Toxic People

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons A blogging friend of mine, Boze Herrington, asked a question the other day: what are some warning signs of toxic people? Many people thoughtfully responded with articulations of some of the “classic” red flags: they refuse to respect your boundaries, they routinely accuse people who are stating their opinion neutrally or even gracefully as being “abusive” and/or “hateful,” they frequently resort to name-calling … … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next? – Dysfunctional Personalities

by Suzanne TitkemeyerI found this list of what the likely personality flaws children of alcoholics develop and it struck me that the list isn't just about alcoholism. It could apply to many different types of dysfunction, people raised in extreme religion, with toxic parents, workaholics, drug addicts, whatever. It works for a laundry list of dysfunction. … [Read more...]

Triggers: So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next?

We're starting a new series called "So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next" with posts about healing, explaining some of the things most people that walk away from spiritual abuse suffer from after leaving as well as information on healing from abuse. We invite anyone that wants to write a post for this series to email Suzanne, NLQ Moderator/Admin at CaluluNLQ(at)gmail(dot)com. … [Read more...]

Sneaky Subconscious

by AJ cross posted from her blog I am PhoenixI've  been experiencing some shifts lately, and my eyes keep opening up to new breakthroughs. Some with my subconscious. It's completely exciting for me. Somewhat painful. I feel like things are ripping on the inside of me. In a good way. I feel somewhat more balanced now than I used to be. I'm getting used to the constant changes in my perspectives. I feel like I accept things more. … [Read more...]

Seeing Monsters in the Dark

by Becoming Worldly I read this, this, and this recently, so figured today I’d tell a ghost story, one with a bit of fire and brimstone thrown in, and a surprise ending. One night a little girl goes to bed. She falls asleep in a dress she’s worn for three days, sharing a bed with four other people, all sleeping on it sideways. She’s glad they’re there because she needs the protection of good people, pure people who are not at risk. … [Read more...]

Was I Spiritually Abused?

by Becoming Worldly(Welcome to NLQ new SASBN member Becoming Worldly!)I was just asked if I could add my blog to No Longer Quivering, a site for people who have left and are speaking out against the Quiverfull movement and people who are interested in learning about such things. My blog will now be cross-posted … [Read more...]

Westboro Baptist Church comment on No Longer Quivering: Judge who sentenced child abuser “clearly wasn’t spanked enough as a child”

by Vyckie GarrisonI just came across this graphic on Facebook. We recently had someone from Westboro Baptist Church post a hate-filled, bible-thumping comment on No Longer Quivering - guess we must be doing something right to have attracted WBC's attention. (◕‿◕✿) Dane County Judge Maryann Sumi sentenced Pastor Philip Caminiti to 2 years in prison for preaching the standard of God Almighty as spelled out in the scriptures. This unjust judge swung her judicial gavel at God and the clear teachings of the Bible on how to love one’s children: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” (Proverbs 13:24). Judge Sumi called it conspiracy to commit ch … [Read more...]


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