Daughter of the Patriarchy: A Terrible Secret

by SierraWhen we went to visit the house in Pennsylvania, it seemed remote, dark and expansive. At the inquisitive yet reticent age of seven, I hovered behind my mother’s leg as we looked around the basement of the long ranch house. It wasn’t quite a finished basement, but there was a bar installed with Heineken cans lining the ceiling. A child about my age was sitting on the floor playing with some ugly 1990s toys. We shared a mutual glance of childhood understanding: we were not agents in this business of buying, selling and leasing real estate (I couldn’t yet wrap my mind around what “real estate” meant in the first place). We were the dolls in our parents’ dollhouses, and I was displa … [Read more...]

Michelle Duggar is expecting her 19th child

by VyckieMichelle Duggar with her children after the birth of baby #18The news at People.com is that the Duggar family is joyously anticipating the arrival of their newest baby in the spring."I love all of this, it is so fun," says Michelle. "Anna and I will have babies five months apart."According to the article, there are "no health concerns" for 42-year-old Michelle.  "Some women are made to have babies, and Michelle is to the nth degree," ob-gyn Amy Sarver told PEOPLE in December. "She is in terrific health without any strain on her uterus."So Michelle Duggar is "made to have babies" ~ huh?Of course, a seemingly logical question for those who are considering the quiverfull … [Read more...]

A Most Twisted Love

by VyckieMom & Dad are in love ... but is a patriarchal relationship of entitlement-meets-martyrdom a healthy and mutually beneficial expression of love?Following a recent interview with the religion editor of our local newspaper, I've been thinking more about what I've learned from St. Bernard of Clairvaux concerning the four "degrees" of love which the ancient monk postulated in considering man's relationship to God (note that this applies to all other relationships as well) ~ although I've already written briefly on this topic here, I'd like to now give a more thorough explanation:Level 1) I love me for my benefit ~ here's an infantile, self-involved person with a severe … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #3 ~ Women can't "have it all" but QF women can do it all

Me ~ Feb. 2007. Too exhausted to get out of bed ~ still, the work had to be done ... There's quite a discussion about feminism going on over on the NLQ forums ~ and it's got me thinking about another no-win situation for Quiverfull moms.As a faithful Proverbs 31 woman of God, I was very concerned about my reputation ~ not for the sake of what people thought about *me,* of course ~ because, you know ~ I was very careful not to seek the "approval of men rather than God." No ~ my reputation was important only because I cared about my witness ~ I did not want the Word of God "blasphemed" on account of my unsubmissive attitude towards my husband, which would be, of course ~ evidence of a … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #2 ~ If you stay you lose, if you leave you lose ~ No Winning Allowed!

by Arietty The experience of being in a No Win Scenario is a very familiar one to me. A decade after my divorce I still find myself smack up against that in certain conversations. While a marriage to an abuser is replete with such scenes (they rapidly become normal), it's the big leap of leaving where it angered me the most. I mean, I've left, why do I have to put up with this STILL? It's like after you have a baby and they suddenly want to give you stitches.. haven't you been through enough? Though not as grueling as what came before your tolerance is now zilch.In a marriage breakup most church friends and acquaintances don't wish to really hear about it. They want to tell you they are … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #1 ~ All the Responsibility, None of the Authority

by VyckieAs a convinced "Proverbs 31 woman" ~ dedicated to serving the Lord by honoring, supporting, and even "serving" my husband ~ I always understood that according to the biblical teachings of patriarchy, it is actually the husband who assumes ultimate responsibility for his household. (One day, Warren would be standing before the Lord to give an account for his success or failure in leading the family in accordance with God's revealed Word).So ~ I believed that while I had only the temporal burden of submitting to my husband's (often incompetent and wrong-headed) leadership in this life ~ it was Warren who actually bore the weight of responsibility in Eternity ~ where it really … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Bless, Do Good, Pray … 3 Remedies for Sibling Rivalry

This photo of my five girls was taken last Christmas ~ and yes, they still do argue with each other ‹(ô¿ô)›Here's another of my "Q.D." (Quivering Days) articles which I wrote for our paper ~ this was subsequently published in several popular home school magazines. As you read, keep in mind that at the time I wrote this, I was near the breaking point from all the stress in our home ~ things were really falling apart for us, with Angel cutting herself and Warren growing more paranoid and difficult by the day. I was trying to hold it all together. I could see that the lifestyle we'd adopted was really not working out for us ~ but at the time I wrote this article, I couldn't quite admit what o … [Read more...]

It's about CONVICTION

 by VyckieLaura's got my Happiness! Yesterday I took my 13-year-old daughter, Hazelle (whom I've nicknamed Happy Hazelle or Happiness) to the airport ~ she's spending Spring Break in Seattle with Laura. Fun ;-)Okay ~ I'm commenting on my own post about STRONG WOMEN because I've thought of something else that I wanted to say on this topic.The strength that I had which kept me going was my conviction. I did it because I was so thoroughly convinced that this is what the bible taught and what pleased the Lord. I'd have done anything to please God.The minute that I realized that I no longer believe in God ~ that strength left me and I couldn't do it any more. I lost my motivation. I … [Read more...]

It's about a VISION

Vyckie's family 2007An important consideration that's obviously on everyone's mind here can be summed up this way: All those years that I published a "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper and I was writing articles for home school magazines encouraging others to live a QF/patriarchal lifestyle ~ we seemed to have a really nice, happy family. The Bennett Family was a role model for other Christian families ~ we were even honored by the governor of Nebraska in 2003 as "Family of the Year." I've shared many testimonies of God obviously working in our lives. (Be sure to click that link.) Now I've set up a blog and I'm writing a book saying this lifestyle ~ and the Christian worldview which … [Read more...]

The Amazing Bosch Universal Mixer

by LauraWhen I was living on the farm we grew almost all of our own food. We planted our own wheat and then harvested it with a pull type combine hooked up to our antique John Deere 70 tractor. We had a hand cranked fanning mill (another antique) to clean the wheat which was quite the operation. One of the bigger kids would crank the giant handle to produce the wind and shaking needed to send that wheat through the fanning mill screens and discard all the impurities. Well almost all. Inevitably there would be little bits of “stuff” that was the same size and shape as the wheat berries that would escape the cleaning process.With our home grown organic wheat berries in hand, I would get o … [Read more...]


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