I Dated Christian Grey

Image from Samantha Field

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The DragonsEditor's note: Samantha wrote an excellent piece with the same title for The Mary Sue - I Dated Christian Grey that sparked some thought provoking dialogue in the comments. Loved this bit: All of this is what happens in the early stages of any abusive relationship, especially with an abuser who uses “BDSM” to disguise his intentions. Victims are instructed by their abusers to view the abuse as normal, and normalcy asspecial. Anastasia Steele and I were so brave any time we dared to “stand up” to him, and Christian and my abuser were so unbelievably wonderful for having brief moments of normal human decency. The danger in  … [Read more...]

Cinderella; a Beautiful Girlhood

Image by Nora Woodhouse used with permission

by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like MineI started my excursion into fairy tale princesses, and romance stories with a post about why those things still resonated with me. I want to continue with other aspects of those stories that are relevant and real for me as a woman in our culture but specifically the culture I was brought up in with its very heavy influences of patriarchy, gender ideals, and fundamentalist beliefs. Cinderella captures all the classic elements of a fairy tale princess romance and because there is context and parallels between it and my own story I will be using it for illustration and discussion. … [Read more...]

Christian Reconstruction, ATI, Abuse, & Submission: Modesty and Lust Part 5

gardenofeden

by SJ Reidhead cross posted from her blog The Pink FlamingoI’m not a strong advocate for sex outside of marriage.  I am certainly no advocate for adultery, which I think is wrong.  It’s one of the Ten Big Ones, as in Thou Shalt Not.  But, fornication, which is sex between individuals who are not married either to one another, or anyone else, is not considered a major sin.  I do think, though, it is an invitation to complicate one’s life.  That’s why I avoid the subject, and the process.  It’s complicated, complicating, and just tends to get in the way of life.  Maybe that’s a cop-out, but I have enough problems right now.  I don’t need to deal with the emotional ups and downs of an involv … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Is This How You Should Speak About Your Spouse?

stained bride

by Spencer Harmon from his blog Unspoken - My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth and the GospelThis has been all over the internet this weekend, provoking many different reactions: some people thinking it's awesome and those that think it's awful. Someone on our NLQ Support group on Facebook said it should have been titled 'King Cophetua meets Beggar Maid' What do you think dear readers? … [Read more...]

Why Purity Culture Doesn’t Teach Consent

phlox

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons I’m a Star Trek fan, and yes– it’s related. I grew up watching Star Trek loyally, and I’m pretty sure Captain Kathryn Janeway is one of the few reasons why I managed to be somewhat normal. So, when Enterprise began airing, I watched every single episode, and Phlox, a Denobulan doctor, quickly became one of my favorites. “The Breach” is one of the few episodes dedicated to his character, and it explores an ethical dilemma: … [Read more...]

Bill Gothard: When People Know…and Do Nothing

matterofprinciples

by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love Joy Feminism (Editor's note: You may notice that we are featuring two of Libby Anne's posts on one day. It's because here on Valentine's Day I am celebrating Love For Libby Anne day as well. She's always thoughtful, articulate and well-written. If you're not acquainted with her many excellent posts I would encourage you to spent some time in the next few days reading through her archives. We love you Libby Anne!) … [Read more...]

What Is Rape Culture?

rapeculture

by Suzanne Calulu cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn't RapeBuzzfeed.com had an awesome article today laying out exactly what Rape Culture actually is. They even had photos to illustrate the problem and that song by Robin Thicke that is a perfect example of rape culture and the lack of informed consent - Blurred Lines.If you haven't seen the video or heard the song here it is. Not safe for work. … [Read more...]

She Deserved My Undeterred Love

lovers

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous CircumspectionTrigger warning: Sexual contentThe day was sweltering hot in the two room studio apartment. The air conditioning, rusting in it's metal encasement, rattled and whined, trying to keep up with the radiant heat of the asphalt coming in the back window. The room smelled slightly, as it always did, of a small gas leak from the old, olive green, stove on the east wall. … [Read more...]

Ordeal of the Bitter Waters Part Five

bitterwaters

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons I puzzled over yarek naphal for days– I dug through commentary after commentary, through lexicons, through concordances, through history books– and what I found was frustrating. Of the people who bothered to remark on what yarek naphal meant, most seemed comfortable assuming that “thigh to rot” was a euphemism for miscarriage– but no one said why. It was usually a short phrase, perhaps a sentence, and then the commentary would move on to explanations why this ritual appeared in Numbers. Exasperated, I ranted for a bit on twitter, and one of my amazing readers, Jennifer, directed me to some resources I am ashamed to say I hadn’t tho … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Summer of 2013?

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by Jay Younts of Shepherd Press If you have taught your children to honor and obey God, be assured that your instruction will be assaulted by education, government, and the entertainment culture. … [Read more...]


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