Quoting Quiverfull: You Owe Your Husband Sex No Matter What?

quotingquiverfull

by Biblical Gender Roles from Biblical Gender Roles - Is My Husband Raping Me?Trigger warning for rape culture justifications and excusing sexual abuseEditor's note: If you have to actually ask that question then usually the answer is yes. Gross disgusting everything is always about sex Mr. Biblical Gender Roles is answering a long comment some poor woman who's husband has frequent, painful and unwanted sex with her against her will. Basically the rest of his long, l-o-n-g answer to this woman is that her husband is within his rights to take sex from her no matter what the circumstances, including him blaming women for having ideas from 'Satan' that men have to earn their sexy fun … [Read more...]

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I Dated Christian Grey

Image from Samantha Field

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The DragonsEditor's note: Samantha wrote an excellent piece with the same title for The Mary Sue - I Dated Christian Grey that sparked some thought provoking dialogue in the comments. Loved this bit: All of this is what happens in the early stages of any abusive relationship, especially with an abuser who uses “BDSM” to disguise his intentions. Victims are instructed by their abusers to view the abuse as normal, and normalcy asspecial. Anastasia Steele and I were so brave any time we dared to “stand up” to him, and Christian and my abuser were so unbelievably wonderful for having brief moments of normal human decency. The danger in  … [Read more...]

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Christian Reconstruction, ATI, Abuse, & Submission: Modesty and Lust Part 5

gardenofeden

by SJ Reidhead cross posted from her blog The Pink FlamingoI’m not a strong advocate for sex outside of marriage.  I am certainly no advocate for adultery, which I think is wrong.  It’s one of the Ten Big Ones, as in Thou Shalt Not.  But, fornication, which is sex between individuals who are not married either to one another, or anyone else, is not considered a major sin.  I do think, though, it is an invitation to complicate one’s life.  That’s why I avoid the subject, and the process.  It’s complicated, complicating, and just tends to get in the way of life.  Maybe that’s a cop-out, but I have enough problems right now.  I don’t need to deal with the emotional ups and downs of an involv … [Read more...]

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Cersei Lannister, Rape Culture, and a Lot of Me Flipping the Bird in General

cersei

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The DragonsTrigger Warning: Sexual violence I’ve read G. R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire up through Feast of Crows, and I’m currently reading Dance of Dragons, albeit slowly. The books are a struggle for me to read, as an abuse and rape survivor. I do enjoy them, although I caution people to engage with Martin’s world critically. He’s been hailed by a lot of people as a “feminist” writer, but I am extremely hesitant to think of him in those terms (read Sady Doyle’s piece there– it’s both hysterically funny and insightful). … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Is This How You Should Speak About Your Spouse?

stained bride

by Spencer Harmon from his blog Unspoken - My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth and the GospelThis has been all over the internet this weekend, provoking many different reactions: some people thinking it's awesome and those that think it's awful. Someone on our NLQ Support group on Facebook said it should have been titled 'King Cophetua meets Beggar Maid' What do you think dear readers? … [Read more...]

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Bill Gothard: When People Know…and Do Nothing

matterofprinciples

by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love Joy Feminism (Editor's note: You may notice that we are featuring two of Libby Anne's posts on one day. It's because here on Valentine's Day I am celebrating Love For Libby Anne day as well. She's always thoughtful, articulate and well-written. If you're not acquainted with her many excellent posts I would encourage you to spent some time in the next few days reading through her archives. We love you Libby Anne!) … [Read more...]

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What Is Rape Culture?

rapeculture

by Suzanne Calulu cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn't RapeBuzzfeed.com had an awesome article today laying out exactly what Rape Culture actually is. They even had photos to illustrate the problem and that song by Robin Thicke that is a perfect example of rape culture and the lack of informed consent - Blurred Lines.If you haven't seen the video or heard the song here it is. Not safe for work. … [Read more...]

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Ordeal of the Bitter Waters Part Five

bitterwaters

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons I puzzled over yarek naphal for days– I dug through commentary after commentary, through lexicons, through concordances, through history books– and what I found was frustrating. Of the people who bothered to remark on what yarek naphal meant, most seemed comfortable assuming that “thigh to rot” was a euphemism for miscarriage– but no one said why. It was usually a short phrase, perhaps a sentence, and then the commentary would move on to explanations why this ritual appeared in Numbers. Exasperated, I ranted for a bit on twitter, and one of my amazing readers, Jennifer, directed me to some resources I am ashamed to say I hadn’t tho … [Read more...]

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Ordeal of the Bitter Waters Part 2

bitterwaters

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons For this series, I’m going to be monitoring the comments a little more closely than I ordinarily do. I haven’t gotten any comments that I’ve needed to moderate, yet, but I am discussing an incredibly charged issue. I will not tolerate any personal attacks– on me or anyone else. Also, I am not really writing this series to convince anyone. This series is about my story– the road I traveled that brought me to this point. … [Read more...]

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Ordeal of the Bitter Waters: Part 1

bitterwaters

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons trigger warning for rape and abortion My heart was in my throat, my fingers floating over the refresh button on my twitter feed. I was curled up under a gigantic down-alternative comforter, huddled under the half-tent I’d made on the floor of my bathroom. Hours went by as I watched what was happening– the strikes, the interruptions. In the last few minutes I joined with thousands of other voices shouting and screaming, a cacophonous din stretching over the internet, across twitter mentions and live feeds. Together, we watched the underhanded attempt at deceiving an entire country of watching people. … [Read more...]

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