Things That Matter!

Image from Living Liminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI'm not sure why it got to me yesterday.After all the times I've had elder J's wife walk past me at school or at the shops in the past two years... all the times she's refused to acknowledge I even exist... all the times she's suddenly been fascinated with the thin air in the opposite direction from where I was...despite all the times I've begged J and his wife to talk through our issues... … [Read more...]

Self Esteem, Self Efficacy and the Locus of Control

Image from Under Much Grace - Cindy Kunsman

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceEditor's note: This was written in response to some of the discussion over Cynthia Jeub's blog posts. That is not why I am sharing it here. This is something that everyone in recovery from spiritual abuse or religious trauma syndrome could benefit from watching and thinking about the issues brought forth.Religious lifestyles that demand a great deal of conformity can create a lot of relationship tension as children venture into adulthood as those adult children begin to make their own choices about life and belief.  If there is too much reliance on the identity of the family of origin or if the family demands the adult to … [Read more...]

It’s a New Year, and it’s Going to be Perfect (Because I Said So)

Image by Nora Woodhouse used with permission

by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like Mine originally posted on 12-27-13 It's a couple days after Christmas and we are about to come into the New Year. I don't know about you but it's about this time of year where I start to feel an urge to plan for next year, and all the awesome things I am going to do, how much self change I want to set out to attain and how this New Year will be perfect. Cue the obsessive scrolling of Pinterest and creating boards and New Years resolutions left and right. I think "oh won't this be wonderful" and get a sort of New Years resolution happiness spike that will eventually result in a crash, burn and lots of tears. Perhaps even a wallop o … [Read more...]

Day 19 of 21 Days of Healing: Self-Care

Healing

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“His love endures forever.” (Thought suggestion for today.)As I am writing this, it is the day after Thanksgiving, 2014. Black Friday. My husband left shortly after 4 AM to pick up my son and go shopping. (For shop vacs, ladders, scaffolding, and an iPhone.) Me? I stayed home. … [Read more...]

Day 16 of 21 Days of Healing: Get a Bigger Bucket

deepwinter

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod delights in you. (Brain work.)Day 16By now, you probably have figured out what’s coming today. Yep, that’s right. What are the big things you want to do?All my life I have wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Guess what? Last spring we went. The Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, Arches National Park, The Petrified Forest, Sedona, the Rocky Mountains and much more. What beauty! What majesty! We were awed. And delighted. We came home with something like 14,000 pictures between our camera, phone cameras, and two iPads. Absolute splendor. … [Read more...]

Late Bloomer

anemone

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixThere are a number of life events that I have arrived at quite late in the game. The biggest life event has been marriage. And there are a few milestones in life I have avoided altogether, such as motherhood, even though most females my age have looked forward to and reached this milestone long ago. … [Read more...]

Day 12 of 21 Days of Healing: God, Where Are You?

hazelmountainoverlook

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsThe Lord is the strength of my life. Do you sense that your thoughts are becoming more positive as you focus on the truth of God’s love and presence in your life? (Brain change.)Day 12When I had my first spiritually abusive experience, I remember being so positive. The pastor at my first abusive church was upset that I was stepping away from assisting with worship/music preparation for a few months. He knew there would be questions about why I was taking a break and he feared that without my help, the music would suffer and he and the associate pastor would not look as good. So, when he spoke against me to the elders, saying th … [Read more...]

Day 9 of 21 Days of Healing: No Strings Attached

treatyou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10I hope you focus on this verse today because if you have suffered spiritual abuse, you have encountered a thief intent on stealing, killing, and destroying you. So cling to the life that Jesus gives – abundant life!And that’s what today’s post is about, too. … [Read more...]

Why Am I Not Surprised?

bali

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI wasn’t going to post anything but the 21 Days of Healing series until after it was done, but seriously, this just deserves to be posted.When I was tossed out of my church, a “friend” from the church (who still spies on me by following this blog) invited me that next week to have coffee with her. We spent several hours at a coffee bar the next town south of where the church is located talking about what was happening. … [Read more...]

Part 3 – Navigating the Justice System: As a Young Adult

handcuffs

by Sarah Henderson cross posted from her blog Feminist In Spite Of ThemPlease see also Navigating the Justice System Part 1: Alone at Age 9 and Navigating the Justice System: When my Parents Went to CourtWhen I was about 17, I moved out. Once it was truly clear to me that what happened in my home was abusive and not normal I decided to try to end the abuse for everyone. I started making regular calls to Children's Aid on my father. … [Read more...]


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