Day 16 of 21 Days of Healing: Get a Bigger Bucket

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod delights in you. (Brain work.)Day 16By now, you probably have figured out what’s coming today. Yep, that’s right. What are the big things you want to do?All my life I have wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Guess what? Last spring we went. The Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, Arches National Park, The Petrified Forest, Sedona, the Rocky Mountains and much more. What beauty! What majesty! We were awed. And delighted. We came home with something like 14,000 pictures between our camera, phone cameras, and two iPads. Absolute splendor. … [Read more...]

Day 15 of 21 Days of Healing: Making It Real

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“He restores my soul.” (Brain work.)Day 15At the end of Day 14, you should have had a pretty good idea of what your perfect “ordinary” day would look like. I hope you are taking steps to make that happen.Remember, an “ordinary” day is one that happens on a regular basis – like my work week. Monday through Friday’s are my “ordinary” days and I love having a very restful, relaxing, time outside of my working and commuting hours. … [Read more...]

There Is No Formula For Culture Shock

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by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundI recently thought of this post, I wrote on Christmas Eve from my phone while with a few teenagers in Asia. We spent Christmas day floating around a pond in 80F/26C weather in shorts, and in the evening when the temperature had dropped to 68F/20C, I read a book out on a lawn chair while the kids were swimming.Then I thought how brutal the last two years have been. I mean, freakin TERRIBLY DIFFICULT PUCK ME UP, kind of brutal. … [Read more...]

Day 14 of 21 Days of Healing: I’d Rather Be…

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe have peace with God through our Lord Jesus . . . ” Romans 5:1 Think on this calming thought today.Day 14Yesterday, I talked about the “To-Don’t” list and how I took some time to just stop and rest. I took more than a day and I hope that you will, too. I rested until I was tired of resting. And once I was tired of resting, I started thinking about what I’d rather be doing. In other words, what would my day look like if I could do whatever I wanted?Because, for the longest time, I did what I thought other people wanted. Or what people told me God wanted. Whether it was doing or being, I was always focused on fulfilling othe … [Read more...]

Day 11 of 21 Days of Healing: Getting What You Want

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by Elllen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe’re half way through the 21 Days. By this time, if you are working on changing your brain and reminding yourself of how God sees you, you will start to notice that you are turning the corner and beginning to believe more of God’s truth than the lies you received from the abuse you have suffered. Keep up the good work!Day 11When I think about what I wanted from my church, the list looks like this: … [Read more...]

Leaving Before You Are Ready

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixHow easy is it to leave a cult? For me personally, the answer is "not very." I pay close attention to the stories of those who have left a religious cult. I admit I am a little envious of the females who made their escape from their family's cult by marrying a man who whisked them away from it all. I wish I had that ticket available back then. It wasn't available to me because I was terrified of men. I was especially afraid of Christian men because of the religious Christian monster my father was. And I was also scared of the so called secular, worldly men because linking up with them meant my life would be cursed with demons attacking me, an … [Read more...]

Day 10 of 21 Days of Healing: WWJS?

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsPlease remember to remind yourself of the truth of who God says you are. Some days will be harder than others, but in the end, as you change your thoughts from the judgmental, demeaning messages of abuse to the unconditional love of God, you will find healing for your heart.Let’s work on that a little deeper today.Day 10: What would Jesus Say? … [Read more...]

Gaslighting

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts Editor's Note: We've covered this topic before but it never hurts to revisit some of the basics of harmful practices in churches and the world.I’ve been reading a bit about gas-lighting lately and at first I didn’t think that it played a part in my spiritual abuse. Maybe that’s because many of the articles and blogs that I read assumed that we all know what gas-lighting is already and so they didn’t give a very complete description or definition. I think it was the word “crazy” that finally hit home with me. Essentially, as I started putting it all together, I determined that gas-lighting is when someone tries to make you believe y … [Read more...]

Day 5 of 21 Days of Healing: Know Your Guiding Values

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod loves you with an everlasting love. (Change your brain.)What do you hold as most important? What are the essential qualities that you value in yourself, others, life? Have you ever written them down? … [Read more...]

Christians Understand Your Feelings Better Than You

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by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons [content note: fundie-speak about “conviction”] As you all know, a little while ago I attended The Reformation Project’s conference, and it was an experience I appreciated and enjoyed. It wasn’t completely sunshine and roses for me, as Friday morning a couple protestors showed up outside the … [Read more...]


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