How Fundamentalism Cultivates the ‘Inner Me’ and a Mistrust For Others

lanawideopenground

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundA few weeks ago, Darcy challenged the notion that we should use God to justify our choices. It has really stuck with me. She explains, The me of today doesn’t believe I need to use God to justify my choices.I’ve done that my whole life….used scripture and God and “God’s will” to make decisions and defend them to everyone who thought I was wrong or had an opinion about me. And no matter what the choice was or how well I defended it “from scripture” someone always thought it was wrong. Because they too could defend their belief about my wrongness from scripture. … [Read more...]

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Helpful Links For Recovering From Abuse

nolongerquivering

One of the things that has happened in the wake of Josh Duggar's sexual molestation coming to light has been that both NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and myself have started to discuss what is the best response, in what way can NLQ help those that have suffered from similar things, to promote healing and wholeness. One thing we came up with was a list of different types of organizations and people who offer help or information. This is our list. … [Read more...]

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False Start

Image by Propinqua

by PropinquaEditor's note: This is another in our series of articles written by anonymous authors that are not linked to any blog.The Josh Duggar saga has raised lots of disturbing questions about the scope of child sexual abuse. How bad does it have to be, to rate the label of abuse? If the victim is unaware of the predator’s actions or intent, should the predator be excused? In the Duggar case, little girls were involved, and the damage to them has been denied and hidden. While no one wants to force survivors to relive child sexual abuse, that unwillingness stands in the way of helping the survivors themselves come to terms with what happened to them. … [Read more...]

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Do Not Turn Yourself Inside Out

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by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like Mine"Do not turn yourself inside out trying to explain yourself to people who refuse to see you. You know who you are."I really liked this quote; I always seem to find things like this when I really need them. A wave of sadness had hit me yesterday, in part because I was still trying to recover and process from a nightmare the night before. I had this horrible dream Other Child was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. I was at their bedside forced with having to let them go. I think a dream like that is fairly representative of how I am still sorting through my feelings after making the choice to go no contact. … [Read more...]

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The First Thread

My old battered much used copy of Lilias Yoga and You - Image by Suzanne Titkemeyer

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog What Would Roger Sterling Do?A few weeks ago NLQ blogger and friend Bruce Gerencser asked for readers to ask him any question that they liked and he would try to answer it.If you don't know Bruce you should scooch on over to his blog - The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser - and have a read. Bruce's life story is a fascinating one. He used to be an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist minister for many years and now he's an atheist. … [Read more...]

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Not Quoting Quiverfull: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt

Notquoting

NLQ SASBN member Boze Herrington has written a review of the new Netflix show "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt" for The Guardian newspaper. If you've not seen this new television show you might want to watch a few episodes. It's a comedy and yes, it is somewhat silly at times, but the draw for anyone in the former Quiverfull movement is that the show tackles the difficult issue of what it is like when you leave a cult and your entire frame of reference on life is what you learned within the cult. It manages to capture that perfect awkwardness in readjusting or adjusting for the first time to the outside world. … [Read more...]

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Psalm 22

mari

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Muses My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why  are  You  so far from helping Me, And  from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent. ~Psalm 22:1-2 Not long ago, whenever I read a mournful psalm, such as this one, I would be reminded of all the times that I felt like even God had turned away from me. … [Read more...]

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People Who Matter

Image from Mari's Muses

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Muses “Be who you are and say what you mean. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss You find out (in a hurry!) who really matters and who really doesn’t when you decide it’s time to stop being what other people think you should be and start being you. Figuring out who matters and who doesn’t is so freeing. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend about realizing — just yesterday! — that I had been living for several months in a place where nobody cares. … [Read more...]

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Announcement: The Hotline Project of Recovery From Religion

Image from Recovery From Religion used with permission

NLQ friend and partner site Recovery From Religion is launching their long anticipated Hotline. The Hotline Project will be available 24 hours a day for those struggling with the emotional turmoil of leaving their faith. Here's what Recovery From Religion  has to say on their site about the project: … [Read more...]

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Sociopathic Leaders

Image by Ellen When Church Hurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI read an interesting post at pimppreacher.com this weekend.  You can find the full article here: http://pimppreacher.com/post/111132531195/is-your-pastor-or-pastors-wife-a-sociopath.In it, the author lists seven “patterns of behavior” for sociopathic pastors and/or their wives.  As my husband and I read through this list together, we were astonished, once again, at the parallels to our own experience.“#1 Sociopaths Never Apologize and Are Incapable of Feeling Shame, Guilt or Remorse.”  Those of you who have read my story know that there was never an apology, and ultimately, it was my husband’s demand that they apologize to me t … [Read more...]

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