The Destiny of a Virtuous Daughter ~ Part I: Beginnings of the Mask

by Starfury  Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? -MulanFor as long as I can remember, I was somebody else. My driving factors were love, approval, and being wanted, for who I was. That never came, in part due to the fact that in my work to achieve my goals I molded who I was to others' specifications. As a result, I am trying to figure out who I am, even though I'm now an adult. Even now, it is easy to slip into the role that I deem others expect of me. It is hard to summon up the strength to remove the mask I've become so good at wearing, out of fear of reproach and backlash.Ultimately, I was to be the perfect daughter. My family had to appear as the model family, … [Read more...]

Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things ~ Part 3: Critical Thinking

by KieryMany people tell me I’m brave, they can’t believe how strong I am. Ten years of playing “mommy 2” isn’t overly common in the outside world. People at church would often tell me how lucky my parents were to have me and say “I bet you help out a lot, huh?” and I would nod and say “yes” while scanning the room to keep tabs on my siblings. “You guys are so blessed!” They would exclaim to my parents, “I don’t know how you do it.” My parents would nod in agreement while other families noted how well behaved we were.It seemed people either wanted to have our faith or detested us. They would aspire to become like my family, or think we were crazy lunatics. We prided ourselves on being p … [Read more...]

Time Heals All Wounds ~ Part 1: The Model of a Christian Woman

All beautiful the march of days, as seasons come and go; The Hand that shaped the rose hath wrought the crystal of the snowThis is a story of two very different families and how the Light of Jesus overflowed from one to the other. It is also a story about feeling rejected and very alone, when one family decided to end the friendship with the other.  Time heals all wounds though, or so they say.....by Shelly CruzI have always been known as a free spirit, an extrovert; I see life as an adventure. I made friends very easily and always attracted all different kinds of people. That was before I became a Christian, though. Something happened to me which no one saw coming, not even me.One … [Read more...]

Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things ~ Part 2: Maintaining Appearances

by KieryIn time, I would begin to envision myself as a fair rose hidden inside metal armor. Afraid to grow, afraid to feel, staying inside a metal cage meant to protect. As far as appearances went though, you’d never know I felt that way. I don’t think my own family knew how I felt, when it comes down to it. Appearances were very important - we always had to look perfect, the house had to be spotless, when we were moving we had to be all happy about it (even if we weren’t), that way people wouldn’t think there was something wrong. The worst thing that could happen would be for someone to wonder if there was something wrong/ someone wasn’t “happy”.I joined a speech club when I was 13, an … [Read more...]

Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things ~ Part 1: Big Girls Don't Feel

by KieryI’m no stranger to hard things. In ways my life was built around doing hard things and part of that has made me who I am today. I’m no stranger to sacrifice, conflict, or rejection. For a while, these things seemed to follow me and my family wherever we went.In 19 years, my mom’s had 10 pregnancies and 8 children, most of them taking place over the last 11 years.  At 8, my life would become a cycle of doing my own thing, and then that being put on hold to take care of everyone and keep the house running until the newest baby arrived. This wasn’t always the case...We started homeschooling when I was in kindergarten, according to my parents, primarily because my private school w … [Read more...]

I Am So Much More Than a Maiden of Virtue! Part 1 ~ I learned to keep my fear of hell to myself

by WanderingOneI grew up hearing about my grandparents' and great-grandparents' deep faith.  Religiosity was, for my family, an important family heritage that was carefully handed down to us children.  Christianity was the most important thing my parents and grandparents thought that they could pass down to us. On my dad's side, my great grandfather was a minister.  On my mom's side, my grandparents served on the mission field in Latin America for a few years after they got married.  There was no escaping religion—it was instilled in us from before we could grasp it.I can't really say much about how things got to be as “bad” as they did.  I know my family has always been conservative, B … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Does Patriarchy Glorify God?

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer  Q: As a Quiverfull couple, we practice headship and submission to strengthen our marriage and bring glory to God.  But you are saying that Patriarchy hurts the husband and belittles God.  Please explain.What does “glorify” mean when we’re talking about God?  A simple definition can be found in what we commonly mean when we say a person is “seeking glory.”  It means that person wants the credit for good things that have happened, and to be honored for those things.  To glorify God is to seek glory not for ourselves, but for God-- to act in ways that point to God, that give God the credit for good things in our lives and the honor that comes from that. … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Quiverfull and the Bible

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR WordgazerQ: The Quiverful philosophy is based on a literal interpretation of Scripture which takes God at His Word. Are you suggesting that the Bible should not be taken seriously?Please consider this question in light of this modern-day parable:A certain company had been in business for 100 years.  The founder of this company, before he retired, had written a letter to all employees, and had asked that this letter be read aloud every year, at the time of the annual picnic, so that all employees for years to come could know what the founder's vision was.The letter contained a lot of things about the company's vision and policies, as well as solemn … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: How can I help my "Quiverfull" friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?   There are two important factors to consider in this situation:   1) How commit … [Read more...]


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