Just Pray for Him: How the Christian Church Refuses to Hold Abusive Men Accountable

abuse

By Lisa Kroulik © Cross posted with permission from Hub Pages - http://nybride710.hubpages.com/hub/How-the-Christian-Church-is-Failing-Abused-Women One of the more difficult things to recover from during the process of divorce from my narcissistic ex-husband was the treatment I received from other Christians. To be fair, none of it was intentionally mean-spirited and all of these people truly believed they were encouraging me from God's word. Unfortunately, the “advice” I received kept me trapped in an abusive marriage three years longer than I should have been.The thing is, all of the responsibility for keeping my marriage together was placed squarely on … [Read more...]

Submission and Prison Cells: Part 1

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by Melissa Permission To LiveAlmost five years ago, I was a devout conservative Christian. I had been married over two years, had a toddler Ms Action running around and a baby Ms Drama due in a few months. I loved my spouse beyond what I had ever thought love was when we first got married, and I still dutifully tried to keep the house immaculate and dinner on the table by the time he walked in the door. I read lots of books on marriage and childrearing, and I gave some of them away too. I remember in particular giving away copies of “To Train up a Child” and “Be Fruitful and Multiply”. I did my best to live up to the ideas I found in the Bible, the Christian books and magazines I read, an … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Questioning, Q. 2

by Libby AnneRaised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning SummaryPlease be sure to click the above links to see an introduction to and explanation of this project, which involves a panel of nine young adults who were raised in Quiverfull families and have since questioned and left that ideology answering questions about their experiences.  What first made you question the beliefs you were raised with? Was this initial questioning a frightening or liberating experience?Joe:I can’t put a finger on one experience that made me question my beliefs.  When I mention my beliefs, I must say that I have rejected everything from quiverful and fundamentalist C … [Read more...]

Happily Abused

Can you say, "Stockholm Syndrome'?

Trigger warning: Christian woman's advice to abused wives reads like a handbook for ascetic self-mortification. How to Use a Woman's Faith & Trust to Make Her a Willing Accomplice to Her Own Abuseby Vyckie GarrisonAfter stumbling across yet another piece of alarmingly dangerous advice for abused women of faith titled, Surviving Emotional Abuse Six Steps by Christian author, Darcy Ingraham, I am wishing I had more middle fingers with which to express my extreme irritation. Ack!I will try to calm down long enough to use my words rather than profane gestures to talk about spiritual abuse.To begin with the author assumes that only those husbands who abandon their faith … [Read more...]

Snipped! Part 6: The Fun Little Church

by Incongruous CircumspectionBill Gothard’s weekly marriage class was run by Pastor John Hartzell and his young protégé, Chuck Raichert in a little Independent Fundamental Baptist Church in Bloomington, Minnesota. Normandale Baptist was the name. The seminar was called Rebuilder’s and was all about loving Jesus Christ so much that your husband or wife simply rushed back into your arms and lived happily ever after. The only problem, it never worked that way. It merely created religious zombies with strict principles.Mama was one of these zombies. She would have hours of “conversation” with my dad over the phone. She never let him speak. You knew when he tried by the rise in the … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 7

killerwave

by MillipedeThis is not to say that my years embracing Patriarchy were all bad. Despite many bad changes and warning signs, there were moments of joy. Staying at home was fun. I promised myself to stay busy so as it was all too tempting to sit around. I made myself a "work" schedule complete with breaks and of course, an end to the workday. I would spend time keeping house, but also do a lot of fun projects. I gardened, made Maple syrup and a myriad of other activities which I truly loved. Although I missed work, I found that a housewife could be just as much of a worker. In fact there are legitimate issues concerning the need for someone to stay at home. Unfortunately, the Patriarchy … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 6

by CaluluWhen we last left the Smiths they had reconciled and were determined to make everyone be best friends forever again. Nothing doing.Things ratchet up a few new levels of tension. 9/11 happens. I'm sitting in front of the television having coffee and folding clothes when CNN shows the coverage of the first tower getting hit and I'm still watching when the second plane hits the other one of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. By the time the plane hits the Pentagon and there are rumors on television of another plane being spotted on the way to Capital Hill where my husband works I was pretty wrung up. My phone kept ringing off the hook from friends and relatives wanting … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Introductory Questions

by Libby AnneWelcome to Raised Quiverfull! Nine young adults who grew up in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements have come together to answer a series of questions about their experiences. All of these young adults have since questioned and left these ideologies and have chosen their own life paths. The goal of the Raised Quiverfull project is to inform. Click here for the Raised Quiverfull introduction.This section, Introductory Questions, showcases the participants’ responses to three introductory questions. If you would like to read the questions and answers to these three questions in one document, click here. To go to the other sections and read the par … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 6

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by MillipedeI hated the the underlying spirit which had crept into our marriage; it was a peevish, disapproving air that my husband had taken on. In our "heathen" days my husband had a happy go lucky air. This was endearing and made up for the fact that he could be irresponsible.Under Christian patriarchy this changed. Not only was he now "head of the household", but he was responsible for making sure that we lived a "Godly life". This permeated every bit of our life as we didn't want to be "Sunday Only" Christians; God was not someone that we turned our back on for the other six days of the week.This affected how I dressed, what we ate, what entertainment we watched or listened … [Read more...]

Introducing, Raised Quiverfull!

raised

by Libby AnneNine young adults who were raised in families involved in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements have come together here to answer questions about their upbringing, their questioning, and their transition to lives in the normal world. Ranging in age from their early twenties to their early thirties, all have questioned and left the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements and all but one blog against what they see as the destructive results of those movements.These nine young adults come from an array of backgrounds (no two families in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements are identical) and have today arrived at a variety of perspectives … [Read more...]


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