You Are Beautiful

Maggie the cat from I Am Phoenix

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am Phoenix(Editor's note: Not precisely related to QF or religion but something important to remember in recovery. So many of us coming out of high demand religions have such a down negative view of ourselves that it's worthwhile to sometimes stop an realize we are all beautiful. It's a message that can never be repeated too often. We need to keep hearing this message as we recover.)Can you really fully experience being you if you never get outside of yourself?Do you really know who you are if you've never experienced yourself through the eyes of others? … [Read more...]

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How Parents Prime Children For Victimization Through Faulty Ideas About Self Love/Esteem

Dysfunctional-Biblical-Family

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much More GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization”Failing to Teach A Child Appropriate Self Love and ValueAs noted in the previous post, children the characteristics of children, when respected and anticipated by the parent help to form the basis of appropriate core behaviors in adulthood. What is perhaps the most primary of these is the development of appropriate self-love, addressed briefly in an earlier post. … [Read more...]

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Self Esteem, Self Efficacy and the Locus of Control

Image from Under Much Grace - Cindy Kunsman

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceEditor's note: This was written in response to some of the discussion over Cynthia Jeub's blog posts. That is not why I am sharing it here. This is something that everyone in recovery from spiritual abuse or religious trauma syndrome could benefit from watching and thinking about the issues brought forth.Religious lifestyles that demand a great deal of conformity can create a lot of relationship tension as children venture into adulthood as those adult children begin to make their own choices about life and belief.  If there is too much reliance on the identity of the family of origin or if the family demands the adult to … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Stop Whining About Your Past?

mirroredself

by Michael Pearl from the latest No Greater Joy Magazine - Who Defines You?The piece below is followed by an awkward segue into a salvation call and then an attempt to raise money for the ministry If as an adult you feel that you are burdened with a negative self-image, blaming your parents or your early environment is just digging the hole deeper. It is acquiescence to your inherited handicap. You are like a liberated slave who won’t leave your place of despised captivity because you were born there and don’t know anything else. You validate your captor’s opinion that you are not fit to self-govern, to succeed, to amount to anything apart from their enslaving oversight. The hurt you fee … [Read more...]

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Growing Up Duggar – Your Relationship With Yourself: Part 1

growing up duggar book cover

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn't RapePage 1 to 9The chapter starts out with a lot of talk about how wonderful it is that all the girls share the same room before an awkward segue into being self critical over appearance.  "All of us have gone through times when we've felt we needed to lose weight. And we've all looked at the girl in the mirror and sometimes found things that just didn't seem to measure up." … [Read more...]

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Cults, Christianity, Toxic Beliefs and Health

backyard

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixI recently separated from a religious cult that I grew up in. During the time I was questioning the beliefs of this cult, I realized that many of these beliefs unfortunately are also foundational beliefs in modern day evangelical Christianity as well. So I ended up leaving not only the cult, but Christianity also. … [Read more...]

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Then and Now

brokenumbrella

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixI'm becoming more and more aware that I don't need to "aware" of my beliefs in order for them to affect my life.My beliefs shape the way my life is branching out right at this very moment, even if many of these beliefs were formed many years ago and I don't give them much thought today. … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: What is Wrong With Self-Acceptance?

selfacceptance

by Mars Hill's pastor Mark Driscoll from his Facebook page Once you diminish the authority of God's Word, it's a rock rolling down a hill. Before long sin, repentance, and hell get replaced with self-help, self-love, and self-acceptance. … [Read more...]

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Fighting the Doctrine of Worthlessness

worthlessness

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous Circumspection Let's toss out the Bible. Ah...now I've lost a bunch of you. That's okay, I know you'll keep reading in order to strengthen your beliefs, so I'll just hope that my words "won't come back void." Yep...two can play at this game.You've heard it said, "A little leaven leavens (or leaveneth for you KJV types keeping score) the whole lump." This phrase comes from the Apostle Paul, encouraging the new Christian church to dump those that were naughty. Kick them out. Excommunicate them, if you will. The idea was that the naughty member would, in time, permeate the rest of the church, making them all naughty. … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Sexiness, Motherhood & Extinction?

motherbody

by Matt Walsh from his blog and reposted by Ladies Against Feminism - You don't have to erase every trace of childbirth from your body I don’t know why we’ve come up with this idea that women need to eradicate any hint of motherhood from their bodies after giving birth.This is all part of the anti-child, anti-mother, anti-family, anti-life, anti-fertility obsession that plagues our culture like an infectious spiritual disease. The ancient pagans worshiped fertility, the modern pagans (of which there are millions in this nation) worship … [Read more...]

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