Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Introduction

by Incongruous CircumspectionI will be quoting Bill Gothard's material in this text style and my response will be in the normal text:Bill Gothard has published a manual on how a wife should meet her husband's seven basic needs, as well as how a husband should meet his wife's.  As you'll see, the latter part, directed at the husband, is highly disingenuous because, according to Bill Gothard, a marriage relationship is skewed completely toward the man.  The wife is only a cheerleading, supposedly willing, party.As Bill is notorious for, he takes anything he can find in the Bible to support any point he dreams up, disregarding the context, the era, even the writer's style, etc., and sand … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

The Formula Problem: Why Duggarizing Your Marriage is Not Recommended

by Incongruous CircumspectionBaking is one of my favorite pastimes.  I make a killer banana bread. I love baking cookies and many times, like Marie Barone, bake a cake just because.  I follow recipes very closely but always add vanilla even if it is not called for.  I can follow those recipes to the letter for one simple reason - I live 900 feet above sea level.Those who live 2500 feet above sea level cannot enjoy the ease of baking I take for granted.  When a recipe calls for a certain amount of flour, they have to add a bit more of the liquid ingredients.  If baking powder is needed, the elevated baker must reduce the amount by as much as half.  Baking temperatures must be increa … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

The 14 Basic Needs of Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar

 by Hopewell Recently  on “19 Kids and Counting,” Michelle Duggar was seen giving women a handout on the “7 Basic Needs of a Husband,” a document produced and distributed by the Advanced Training Institute –the Duggar’s “homeschool group.” She also gave out the group's “Character Qualities” chart, which I discussed in an earlier post, The 49 Character Qualities of the Duggars.The 14 Basic Needs of Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar: How they meet each other’s 7 Basic Needs:7 Basic Needs of a Husband:A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive: Obviously, Jim-Bob picked the right wife! Michelle has been there with him, supportive to the max, thru years of small businesses, … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Snipped! – Part 3: Marital Problems

by Incongruous CircumspectionWhen I was about 7 years old, my parents realized that they were having marital problems.  My father knew there was a problem long before this, but he was now ready to do something about it.  They began the process of looking for a marriage counselor.  They found many.  They went to many.  But it was always the same song and dance.The marriage counselor would begin by getting the story of their marriage from both parties and then begin speaking to my father about what he could do to improve himself.  My dad, being a humble and loving gentleman, was more than happy to take sole ownership of the repairing of the marriage, but knew that doing this would only … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Contradictions: Who’s the Visual-est of Them All?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj3dYHwx2mMby SierraFundamentalists argue that women should dress conservatively because men are visual. This is supposedly something women can’t possibly understand, because women are emotional, not visual. Women become attracted to men through flirtation and flattery; indeed, male visuality is like a foreign language to them. Men are not obliged to cover up for women for this reason.However, Libby Anne has brought up the following argument that a fundamentalist father made against women’s right to vote: The first impact of women voters was really felt after the televised Nixon / Kennedy debates.  Nixon, the superior statesman without question, l … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

How the Modesty Doctrine Hurts Men, Too

by SierraI’ve written a few times about how the modesty doctrine hurts women. Now it’s time to switch lenses. The modesty doctrine also wreaks havoc on the minds of young men in the Christian patriarchy movement. Here’s how:It teaches men to be afraid of women because their sexual power is too great to be resisted. It teaches men to despise women and hampers their relationships. It teaches men to be afraid of their own bodies. It teaches men to control and criticize women in order to protect themselves. It teaches men to be paranoid about their sexual orientation. It teaches gay men that they don’t exist.(There are probably more consequences of which I’m not aware, so m … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Young patriarch tells it like it is: Woman indeed is the weaker vessel; Sodomites hate God, and infiltrate churches to spit in God’s face … Am I controlling for keeping my woman away from these evil men? Then so be it.

(Trigger warning: patronizing, misogyny, homophobia...)Last night, a patriarch-in-training named "Matt" spent a lot of time reading and commenting on the NLQ FAQ: What Is Quiverfull?It's possible that Matt is a troll and his comments should be ignored or deleted - but his arguments are not at all unlike the "biblical" beliefs which I heard taught/preached regularly during my Quiverfull days. I am assuming Matt is a young man based on his immaturity and know-it-all attitude - of course, given that patriarchs rarely grow up, it's possible that he is an old man - maybe he's the pastor of an IFB church.So, without further ado - here's Matt: I take it from your post that you are … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

How Modesty Made Me Fat

by SierraThis isn’t a story about how modest clothes allowed me to “let myself go” and conceal a growing figure. It’s not even a story about how wearing modest clothes kept my self-esteem at rock bottom and thrust me into a too-close relationship with Ben & Jerry. It’s a story about how modesty doctrines impacted my mind, in ways that had real, negative effects on my body. Modesty was one of the reasons my defining relationship with my body became whether or not I was “fat.” Modesty was one of the engines that pushed me into a full-blown eating disorder. It’s not just a dress code: it’s a philosophy, and it’s one that destroys young women, mentally and physically.Modesty taught me … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

But They Look So Happy!

Excerpted from Dulce De Leche:All of the recent news about the Duggar's newest baby spawned a number of online arguments.  One of the most frequent comments was about how cheerful their family is, especially the children.  How Michelle is a great mom who doesn't yell.  It must be working for them, because the kids are well behaved and look happy.  Sounds reasonable, right?I might believe it, if I didn't know what I know of Gothard/ATI and the Pearls.  The Duggars are deeply enmeshed in ATI, and ATI takes allegiance very seriously.  It isn't a vague Statement of Beliefs that you sign so your kids can take the courses.  It is several pages of in depth info that covers what kind of music … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Adventures in Recovery – Scaredy Cats: Why So Fearful?

by CaluluAretha Franklin - “You better think about the consequences of your actions.”Matt 'Guitar' Murphy - “ Oh shut up woman!”(Lovingly borrowed from the movie “The Blues Brothers”)A few months ago I lent out a book by a newer young minister to a friend of mine named Georgia. Georgia has recently made it out of the mess Possum Creek Christian Fellowship devolved into. We'd been talking about new teachings we'd encountered and I'd explained that I liked this guy's style, I steered my friend Georgia to his teachings on You Tube and lend her that book. Minister X actually has a new book out but I lent her one of the older books first.Georgia is one of those ladies I had rem … [Read more...]

Stay in touch with No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X