Deeply Planted Seeds of Cognitive Bias

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceContinuing on in Cindy's excellent series on the role cognitive bias plays in spiritual abuse and recovery. All images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. This is a tweeked excerpt from a post that I wrote a few years ago, prompted by Cindy Foster's reflection on a blog post about a blog post (Rachel Held Evans' The Scandal of the Evangelical Heart)     Reflecting on my own, consistently repeated cognitive biases, I thought that this might give the reader some insight into how illogical ideas can become so entrenched in our natures and the ways we learn to we see the world. I still find th … [Read more...]

Guilt and Shame: Not the Same

by Cindy Foster cross posted from her blog Finding Fundamental This short piece was posted by someone from the ‘Unfundamentalist Christians facebook page https://www.facebook.com/UnfundamentalistChristians?fref=ts and appeared on my wall.     The truths expressed are so profound, I wanted to preserve them here since they so eloquently differentiate these two ideas commonly, mistakenly, treated as synonyms. … [Read more...]

Daring Greatly

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown.  I am reading this book because it’s kind of a prerequisite for a workshop that my husband and I are going to attend in a couple of weeks called “The Daring Way” and it is based on the work of Brene Brown.I’m fascinated by this book.It’s a book about living vulnerably. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: If You Don’t Give Things Away You Don’t Really Trust God?

by anonymous as reposted by Lori Alexander of Always Learning - Keeping a Home Beautiful on a Small BudgetEditor's note: Most of this article is the typical 'blah-blah-blah' female cult enforcer idea that no matter how broke you are that you aren't Godly or righteous unless you keep your home spotless and attractive to others. On a budget of course. How many different female cultural enforcers have we heard this nonsense from? How does it square up with the words of Jesus to Mary and Martha? I have done the every six months reorganize and donate for years now but still do not consider it anything to do with faith or God. Is it 'spiritual' or practical? … [Read more...]

The Value of Shame

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P Field.comI have … unusual hair. At one point when I was a child, it was so long I could sit on it, but it wasn’t just the length that made it stand out. It was also full, thick, voluminous– or as my partner likes to call it, “robust.” I have thick, wavy hair and I have a lot of it. It was also fairly healthy, so, as long as it was, it kept its body all the way to the ends. Honestly, it didn’t even look real. … [Read more...]

Cry Baby

by Kaleesha Williams cross posted from her blog The Lost (and Found) Mind of Kaleesha WilliamsWho are you crying for? Me. I weep for myself, for the me that was.  Part of the grief process, I suppose.  The stark contrast between my life now and the life I was living two years ago continues to jump out at me at occasionally and I end up in tears.  The scars are all there… … [Read more...]

Part 1 – Is It Possible To Be A Sex-Positive Christian?

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons If you’ve spent any time in feminist circles, you’ve probably bumped into the termsex-positive. It gets thrown around a bit, and one thing I’ve noticed is that it can occasionally be difficult to nail down what the writer/speaker means when they use it, so I’m going to offer a definition for what I mean when I use it. … [Read more...]

Sexuality and Shame, Part 1: Sexpectations

by Kaleesha Williams cross posted from her blog The Lost (and Found) Mind of Kaleesha WilliamsPlease welcome our newest member of the SASBN Kaleesha Williams! She's written a great series on sexuality we'll be posting! Welcome aboard Kaleesh! “Shame, boatloads of shame Day after day, more of the same Blame, please lift it off Please take it off, please make it stop” -The Avett Brothers … [Read more...]

Covering Up the Body Before Puberty

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundI recent post by Aletha really stood out to me. This is where she talks about where the pain of modesty began. I started developing breasts when I was 8.  The first time I ever thought about them was in kid’s Sunday School.  I had been wearing a dress that I loved. It had flowers, and a petticoat, and lace.  It was also a year old, so it was a bit tight, and a bit short.  But it was my favourite.  It was, apparently, also a bit low cut.  I don’t know how much cleavage I was showing, but a Primary teacher took me aside and told me that my dress was immodest, and I should cover myself better next time. I didn’t want to cause problems … [Read more...]

Stress, Pride, Shame and Frogs

by Cindy FosterIn February of 2002 we attended our first five day stress in the ministry workshop.  We were invited by our close friends of near 30 years who founded this desperately needed ministry near 30 years ago. … [Read more...]