Just Pray for Him: How the Christian Church Refuses to Hold Abusive Men Accountable

abuse

By Lisa Kroulik © Cross posted with permission from Hub Pages - http://nybride710.hubpages.com/hub/How-the-Christian-Church-is-Failing-Abused-Women One of the more difficult things to recover from during the process of divorce from my narcissistic ex-husband was the treatment I received from other Christians. To be fair, none of it was intentionally mean-spirited and all of these people truly believed they were encouraging me from God's word. Unfortunately, the “advice” I received kept me trapped in an abusive marriage three years longer than I should have been.The thing is, all of the responsibility for keeping my marriage together was placed squarely on … [Read more...]

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Baptist Taliban Part 1 – Introduction

by Cindy FosterEditors note: Please welcome Baptist Taliban to our Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network! She will be writing a new series for us.REASONSIn order to add some context to the articles I have written on this blog I want to designate a page to summarize our story from beginning to end.It is my hope, as it has always been, to expose not only the wrongs that The Preacher was guilty of, but to own the actual wrongs we committed as opposed to what The Preacher has stated publicly using skilled innuendo and out-right public accusations.Since it is obvious that sides have been chosen between our family and The Preacher’s, the resulting division and e … [Read more...]

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Who Was That Masked Man? Part 7

by CaluluAfter the incident with the pregnant daughter of a friend we had another reprieve from Tom and Tina. We'd see them at church but they'd stopped coming to the bible study group. I'd heard that they were both going through this other ministry's counseling. The other ministry sounded sort of like Scientology in that you have to confess all your deepest darkest sins, area by area each week to the counseling team and then the team would lead you in repentance, prayer and forgiveness. It kept the Smiths out of our hair for about a year with the exception of about every other month one of the Smiths would corner me and demand we all become friends again.No chance of that. Even our … [Read more...]

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Join the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network!

About the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs NetworkWelcome Spiritual Abuse Survivors!We are here to assist one another to amplify the voices of spiritual abuse survivors by growing blog readership and raising awareness of the issue of spiritual abuse.Bloggers who wish to join the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network must meet the following criteria:You must be a survivor of spiritual abuse. (Obviously!)You must have a blog - the topic of your blog, however, does not necessarily have to be exclusively about spiritual abuse. It would be great if you share part or all of your story on your blog, but it is not a requirement.That's it. We like to keep things simple. … [Read more...]

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About The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network

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The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network is a project of Vyckie Garrison and the guest writers at No Longer Quivering.The network began when Vyckie noticed that NLQ forum member, Libby Anne, seemed to be doing a lot of processing of her quiverfull experience through frequent posts and comments. She encouraged Libby Anne to write her story for NLQ - which she did - and in the process, discovered that she loves blogging!Around that time, due to on-going health issues, Vyckie was struggling to keep the No Longer Quivering site updated and rarely was able to write any new content herself. Recognizing Libby Anne's blogging potential as an opportunity to continue raising awareness of … [Read more...]

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Rebuilding

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by Bruce GerencserNine years have passed since I preached my last sermon, since my wife was called the “pastor’s wife.” Almost four years have passed since my wife and I determined to stop attending church. We are now among the “unchurched”, casualties of a life spent in Evangelical Christianity. Worse yet, at least according to our critics, we are now enemies of Christ and his church.You see, we not only left the Church, we left Jesus. Regardless of how some Christians parse our lives through their peculiar theological system, we are indeed two people who once were devoted, committed followers of Jesus, who are now described as an atheist husband and his agnostic wife. … [Read more...]

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We Are Spiritual Abuse Survivors!

andie-storme

by Paradise Recovered(I wrote this piece to honor those who have been hurt by high-demand churches and cults. I also wrote it for their loved ones, clergy, and therapists that they might understand how to handle us with care. Our experiences are unique, but much of the aftermath we experience can be similar. I hope this is helpful to someone. Peace, Andie Redwine)We are spiritual abuse survivors.To paraphrase the late Jan Groenveld, one of the pioneers in the spiritual abuse recovery movement, we believed a dangerous lie that closely resembled the truth. And we have paid dearly for that belief with the sacrifice of our very souls.Life can really be hard at times for human … [Read more...]

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Who Was That Masked Man? Part 3

by CaluluWhen we last left everyone Tom was in and out of his home with Tina. Tina was determined to wait out his infidelity and we were trying to rally around Tina since she was disabled and alone. Things are about to get beyond strange, with the ripples affecting a number of families at church.During this super awkward time frame Hubby and I start getting regular visits from Alice, Sam and their six kids. The visits go like this. We get a call or they just show up at dinner time and announce that they have no food at the house and no money.The visits created stress because obviously we couldn't be around or have over the Smiths at the same time. So it felt like the worlds … [Read more...]

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Unwrapping the Onion: Part 8: Coming Out, Bit by Bit

onion

by Permission to Live  This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.It was getting harder and harder for my spouse to put on a masculine facade when we went out. At home, after all, he was able to just be himself. It was also starting to feel awkward referring to him as a “he.” The pronouns just didn’t fit anymore. Other people started to notice too. When we went down to visit family over the summer we had several different family members ask if my spouse was gay. Apparently being a feminine male-presenting person attracts attention.The summer of 2011 was significant in another way too. I had arranged to meet up with a friend … [Read more...]

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Cult of Personality – Adventures in Recovery

by CaluluA few weeks ago I took my daughter out for an celebratory lunch at her favorite Greek restaurant. She's gotten acceptance letters from all of the colleges she's applied to plus we really needed to touch base, take a time out together from the busy of our lives. Over sovlaki and hummus she started talking about what she would say to our former pastor Patrick if she ran into him again. She had run into him an few months ago and had been so surprised she'd just hurriedly muttered out pleasantries before leaving him as rapidly as a man with his pants on fire would run for the lawn sprinklers.I had to ask her what she would say to Patrick if they were face to face. She blurted … [Read more...]

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