Cranio-Rectal Inversion and Cognitive Bias

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. (You can't live very safely if your head's up your _____.)The title of this post conveys a rude image, but I find it sadly and uncomfortably true. In pondering my own recent disappointments in life and establishing safety in trauma recovery, I found myself looking squarely at my own cognitive biases. And I realized that you can't see and hear if you've buried your head away somewhere, even if it is self interest. … [Read more...]

Developing Tools to Find Safety in the Face of Uncertainty

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. In the discussion of building safety in stabilization in recovery from post traumatic stress, we've recently considered the role of acceptance and expectation in that process. We lose perspective because we get more consumed with survival for far too long which interferes with our ability to embrace joy and live optimistically. … [Read more...]

Finding Safety in Myths? Camus as Futility’s Starting Point

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission I am by far a greater fan of Master of the Absurd, Franz Kafka, who laments in his writings about the nature of man and his limitations, but I could not help but think of Albert Camus' essay about The Myth of Sisyphus concerning the subject of futility and expectation. Can his writing help us find some footing in recovery from trauma so that we can build some type of stability? Trauma robs us of our sense of safety, causes us to feel isolated, and it obscures our memories of stability if we truly had any as a starting point. Trauma causes us to realize … [Read more...]

Part 1 – The Story

by Cindy Foster cross posted from her blog Finding Fundamental REASONSIn order to add some context to the articles I have written on this blog I want to designate a page to summarize our story from beginning to end.   It is my hope, as it has always been, to expose not only the wrongs that The Preacher was guilty of, but to own the actual wrongs we committed as opposed to what The Preacher has stated publicly using skilled innuendo and out-right public accusations. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Justifying Saying Words That Hurt Others?

by Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog - Whoa and GiddyupEditor's note: Whenever I see fundamentalists or evangelical cultural enforcers discussing 'speaking the truth' at the same time as 'taming the tongue' I know it's coded language for 'put down and verbally abuse anyone not in our personal cult.' I wish these types would understand just how unkind and hateful they come across when they are 'speaking the truth' to those they don't agree with. The examples he makes here are all positive ones, but we all know what the likely language towards others really is and it isn't that kind. … [Read more...]

In the Midst of It?

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsSpiritual abuse.  Sometimes, even when you know you are being victimized, it’s hard to break away, or walk away, or run away.  If you’ve found yourself here because you know what you are experiencing is spiritual abuse but you are caught and can’t let go, this page is for you. … [Read more...]

Daffodils of Integration: First Promise of Joy Through Recovery

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace James Taylor's melancholy Fire and Rain which laments the unexpected loss of a friend, and I now think of the loss of integration of trauma when I hear him sing “sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.”In a way, that is what trauma does to us. Our dreams break apart, perhaps because they weren't very realistic but sometimes because we don't have time to realize them because we're so busy trying to figure out how to put ourselves back together. Sometimes, we just can't recover all that we've lost. Sometimes, we lose our ability to fly because the pieces lay on the ground, smashed and broken because of what hap … [Read more...]

Spotlight

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalEditor's note: The film 'Spotlight' is now out on DVD and Pay Per View. It involves spiritual abuse and is a great watch for anyone who has dealt with the issues of spiritual abuse. Both Cindy Kunsman and myself have written reviews of this excellent film. I personally love the film's tag line 'Break the story. Break the silence'There is a scene in the film Spotlight where Mark Ruffalo's character discovers incontrovertible proof that the head of the Catholic church in Boston not only knew about the child sexual abuse scandal in the church, but was complicit in its cover-up. He urges immediate publication of the story, and e … [Read more...]

10 Red Flags About Christian Celebrities and Ministries

Taken from the comments and written by one of NLQ's commenters Abigail Smith on Samantha Field's The Smell Test: 5 Signs of a Toxic ChurchI formulated these “10 Red Flags” about “Christian" celebrities and ministries during my escape from QF over the last few years1) Unbalanced- you just sense something is wrong but it sounds good and holy and everything is “backed up” with scripture verses (antidote: the gospel is so simple that even children can understand it) … [Read more...]

The Loneliness of Those That Leave Church

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserFrom your earliest recollection you remember the church.You remember the preacher, the piano player, the deacons, and your Sunday School teacher.You remember the youth group and all the fun activities.You remember getting saved and baptized.You remember being in church every time the doors were open. … [Read more...]


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