Do Not Turn Yourself Inside Out

nora

by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like Mine"Do not turn yourself inside out trying to explain yourself to people who refuse to see you. You know who you are."I really liked this quote; I always seem to find things like this when I really need them. A wave of sadness had hit me yesterday, in part because I was still trying to recover and process from a nightmare the night before. I had this horrible dream Other Child was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. I was at their bedside forced with having to let them go. I think a dream like that is fairly representative of how I am still sorting through my feelings after making the choice to go no contact. … [Read more...]

Why You Are The Problem

livingliminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalIt was a few days before the meeting at which the board's official 'advice' was to be handed down to me. By this stage, it was pretty obvious what that advice would be. As they'd spent the past 3 weeks being 'unavailable' - far too busy doing 'important things' to talk to me - it didn't take a genius to work out I was being hung out to dry.I was sitting in the lounge room of elder R because I wanted to talk to him before I got officially shafted by the board. I was hoping (in vain!) that if I shared my concerns about the behavior of elder J and his wife, and the board members backing him, that he'd realize there was something … [Read more...]

I Am A Publican and a Heathen Part 2

Image by Bruce Gerencser

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserOur family arrived in Elmendorf, Texas the first week of March 1994. I had resigned from Somerset Baptist Church in Somerset, Ohio, and after closing down the church and Christian school, I  packed up my family and moved us to Elmendorf so I could become co-pastor of Community Baptist Church.Community Baptist Church was an Sovereign Grace (Calvinistic) Independent Baptist church. The church was started in the 1980’s by Pat Horner. The church worshiped at a ramshackle former Southern Baptist church building on Labus Road outside of Elmendorf. The church property included several acres of land that ho … [Read more...]

Sea Legs

Ellen

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFor the first several weeks after we were tossed out of our church I felt like I still had sea legs.  I had learned over the years to walk somewhat steadily – or at least with a great deal of familiarity – as the wind and waves of spiritual abuse crashed over and around me.  Though I found myself on solid ground, my body, mind, and spirit continued for a time to lurch and sway as though I were still on board that hulking monstrosity of a church from whence my spiritually abusive treatment had pounded unabatedly. … [Read more...]

When Abuse Leads to Cynicism

Watchtheshepherd

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The ShepherdDo you know anyone whose faith has been turned upside down into cynicism because of hypocrisy or abuse within a church or a family?I do. I've lost count of those I know personally, and I have read about far more who have walked away from the Christian faith or at least wandered to the outer fringe of fellowshipI have been researching abuse and authority issues in families, churches, and religious movements for over seven years. … [Read more...]

My Level of Commitment Cannot Exceed Yours

Ellen

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsA few nights ago, one of the folks from our former church called.  Not to ask us how we are. Not to find out why they don’t see us around anymore.  Not to ask if we would like to get together.They called to ask us for . . .  Deep breath . . .Money.And I’m thinking, “Wow.”Maybe if you cared just a little. Just enough to say, “We miss you and would like to see you sometime.”Theirs is a noble cause.  Though, I must say, I was a bit surprised that they called asking us for money since theirs is a wealthy family.  So why ask for our help?  Especially when our son has already told them that we are in the midst of helping o … [Read more...]

Psalm 22

mari

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Muses My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why  are  You  so far from helping Me, And  from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent. ~Psalm 22:1-2 Not long ago, whenever I read a mournful psalm, such as this one, I would be reminded of all the times that I felt like even God had turned away from me. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Labeling Women As ‘Pushy Broads’?

quotingquiverfull

by Doug Wilson of Blog and MaBlog quoted by Tim Fall in response to an article by Jen Wilkins at The Gospel Coalition titled How Men Pastors Can Better Relate To WomenEditor's note: Say what??? Reminds me of that scripture that says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. He really must hate women if this is what he calls many of them! This is unacceptable language for someone who is supposed to a pastor. It proves that Wilson's brand of Christianity is a very unsafe place for women where they'll eventually be spiritually abused. … [Read more...]

Announcement: The Hotline Project of Recovery From Religion

Image from Recovery From Religion used with permission

NLQ friend and partner site Recovery From Religion is launching their long anticipated Hotline. The Hotline Project will be available 24 hours a day for those struggling with the emotional turmoil of leaving their faith. Here's what Recovery From Religion  has to say on their site about the project: … [Read more...]

Sociopathic Leaders

Image by Ellen When Church Hurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI read an interesting post at pimppreacher.com this weekend.  You can find the full article here: http://pimppreacher.com/post/111132531195/is-your-pastor-or-pastors-wife-a-sociopath.In it, the author lists seven “patterns of behavior” for sociopathic pastors and/or their wives.  As my husband and I read through this list together, we were astonished, once again, at the parallels to our own experience.“#1 Sociopaths Never Apologize and Are Incapable of Feeling Shame, Guilt or Remorse.”  Those of you who have read my story know that there was never an apology, and ultimately, it was my husband’s demand that they apologize to me t … [Read more...]


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