Peace in the Midst of the Storm

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace  Please enjoy the reflections of Stephen Parsons as he visits the Island of Crete. (The post in its entirety struck me as so lovely and deep using a powerful analogy that I have not even noted here, it is well worth the visit to Surviving Church to read it.): … [Read more...]

What’s Your Motive? To Hurt? To Help? To Heal?

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI haven’t yet publicly posted the last two parts of my story on this blog.  I’m checking my motive before I do that.  Because, while all the names have been changed and only one person that knows me personally is following this blog (and I suspect has shared it with church leadership), I want to be sure that when I post it publicly, it is not to hurt, but to help others to heal. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Doug Wilson Thinks Triggers Are a Lie?

by Doug Wilson from Blog and Mablog - Triggered SchmiggeredEditor's note: Keep in mind that this man is the same guy that had no problem marrying a sex offender pedophile or allowing him access to children in the Reformed IFB church Wilson pastors. He thinks that anyone having any problem with things he personally disapproves of is not a valid option. In a time when so many women have been triggered by the words of presidential candidate Donald Trump and a host of other things Wilson thinks that being triggered is not a real thing. … [Read more...]

The Women Fighting Back

NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and NLQ Admin Suzanne Titkemeyer were recently interviewed by Dylan Brethour for Vice.com about their time in the Quiverfull movement: Former member Suzanne explains: "Quiverfull families believe that they have to trust the Lord with their family planning... It's based off the idea that God intends to fill your quiver and blessed is the man whose quiver is full of arrows." Another ex-member, Vyckie Garrison, calls Quiverfull "pro-life rhetoric on steroids". I spoke to both women about why they joined, life as a true believer, and what finally pushed them to leave. … [Read more...]

When Controlling Behavior Backfires

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalOne of the first bloggers I started to follow after experiencing bullying and abuse in the institutional church was Julie Anne. She now writes a blog called Spiritual Sounding Board, but when she first started blogging, she could be be found here.She wrote this about being sued by her ex-pastor: "Days after the commencement of this blog, I received a legal summons suing me and three others for defamation to the tune of $500,000. The story of spiritual abuse needs to be told. People are being hurt emotionally and spiritually by pastors who use bully tactics and we need a place to learn, to talk freely, and to heal. I will not … [Read more...]

Cranio-Rectal Inversion and Cognitive Bias

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. (You can't live very safely if your head's up your _____.)The title of this post conveys a rude image, but I find it sadly and uncomfortably true. In pondering my own recent disappointments in life and establishing safety in trauma recovery, I found myself looking squarely at my own cognitive biases. And I realized that you can't see and hear if you've buried your head away somewhere, even if it is self interest. … [Read more...]

Developing Tools to Find Safety in the Face of Uncertainty

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. In the discussion of building safety in stabilization in recovery from post traumatic stress, we've recently considered the role of acceptance and expectation in that process. We lose perspective because we get more consumed with survival for far too long which interferes with our ability to embrace joy and live optimistically. … [Read more...]

Finding Safety in Myths? Camus as Futility’s Starting Point

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission I am by far a greater fan of Master of the Absurd, Franz Kafka, who laments in his writings about the nature of man and his limitations, but I could not help but think of Albert Camus' essay about The Myth of Sisyphus concerning the subject of futility and expectation. Can his writing help us find some footing in recovery from trauma so that we can build some type of stability? Trauma robs us of our sense of safety, causes us to feel isolated, and it obscures our memories of stability if we truly had any as a starting point. Trauma causes us to realize … [Read more...]

Part 1 – The Story

by Cindy Foster cross posted from her blog Finding Fundamental REASONSIn order to add some context to the articles I have written on this blog I want to designate a page to summarize our story from beginning to end.   It is my hope, as it has always been, to expose not only the wrongs that The Preacher was guilty of, but to own the actual wrongs we committed as opposed to what The Preacher has stated publicly using skilled innuendo and out-right public accusations. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Justifying Saying Words That Hurt Others?

by Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog - Whoa and GiddyupEditor's note: Whenever I see fundamentalists or evangelical cultural enforcers discussing 'speaking the truth' at the same time as 'taming the tongue' I know it's coded language for 'put down and verbally abuse anyone not in our personal cult.' I wish these types would understand just how unkind and hateful they come across when they are 'speaking the truth' to those they don't agree with. The examples he makes here are all positive ones, but we all know what the likely language towards others really is and it isn't that kind. … [Read more...]