Is This Your Pastor?

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsHere is another interesting article on Covert Narcissism – specifically in the pastorate.  As I read the indicators, I was again nodding my head in agreement.Link to pdfThe bullet point list in the article talks about “one-upping you in conversation.”  I hadn’t thought much about this until I saw this point, but, yes, that happened in my very limited conversations with the pastor. … [Read more...]

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Feelings Are Fundamental

CindyFoster

by Cindy Foster at Finding FundamentalThere is an insidious, mostly unrecognized ethic prevalent among hard-core fundamentalist Baptists (as I am sure exists among other rigid belief systems),   that emotions are largely the tool of the devil. … [Read more...]

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The Famous Ones

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsThere are big names out there in the spiritual abuse world.  Big name perpetrators.  Big name authors of blogs and books and Twitter feeds.  Big names whose social media accounts explode regularly over big names.  Big names getting the word out about big names who have committed outrageous acts of abuse.  And, of course, any time those outrageous acts are committed with any hint of ties to churchianity, we recognize them as not just sexual or domestic or physical abuse, but as spiritual abuse. … [Read more...]

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Open Thread: Christmas Aftermath – Maintaining Healthy Emotional Boundaries in Family Dysfunction Post-Evangelicalism

An enormous Hofbrau House beer consumed post-dysfunction Christmas this year. Image by Suzanne Titkemeyer

Just wanted to throw open a discussion thread to discuss best ways to deal with the holidays and family after leaving your old faith. Or perhaps you've not left but a family member has. Or your family is filled with dysfunction, turmoil and trauma that has nothing to do with  religion at all. Do you struggle to maintain healthy emotional boundaries in the holidays? Did you have to fend off an over-eager fundamentalist relative wanting to issue some serious 'Come To Jesus' your way as recently described by Bruce Gerencser? … [Read more...]

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Confessing to That Which I Did Not Do

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI was watching one of those real life crime drama shows recently.  I can’t remember if it was Dateline or 20/20 or 48 Hours, but the story was about a young woman who was interrogated bullied by the police for hours on end until she agreed with them that she had slammed a baby to the floor causing a head injury that led to his death.  She was convicted and in prison when the fact that the child had suffered a concussion weeks before that had caused his death.  Over and over, the reporter asked, “Why did you confess to something you didn’t do?”  And it was that question that brought revelation to me. … [Read more...]

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How Fundamentalist Christians Ruin Christmas

A rather smeary Christmas image by Suzanne Titkemeyer

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserNow that I am no longer a Christian, I really enjoy Christmas. I know this might be hard for fundamentalist Christians to believe, but I enjoy Christmas now more than I ever did when I was a card-carrying member of Club Christian®. The reason is simple. From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, there were services to prepare, food drives to coördinate, and season-themed sermons to preach. Like the Easter season, Christmas was a high-stress, lots-of-work time for me. Quite frankly, I found it exhausting. Rarely did I have the time to just relax and enjoy Christmas. … [Read more...]

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“Spotlight” Review – It Takes A Village To Abuse A Child

spotlight

by Suzanne TitkemeyerLast night I had an opportunity to see an extraordinary film, one that I'm sure would deeply resonate with everyone that is a regular reader of NLQ. The film is "Spotlight" and it's playing right now in theaters across the country after a wide screen release on Friday, November 20th. … [Read more...]

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How Dysfunctional Parents Siphon Resources Back from a Child, Depriving them of Healthy Self-Development

Healthy Nurturing Parent

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization” All images originals from Under Much More Grace. In the previous post, we discussed how children lack internal resources which the parent provides to them so that they can develop their own sense of self, internal peace and what many authors describe as a sense of abundance. … [Read more...]

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Ken Ham Asks His Disciples to Pray for Me

Image by Bruce Gerencer

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser(Editor's note: This is what organized religious harassment looks like with the added goal of trying to heap someone with spiritual abuse. Ken Ham, science denier and supposedly a minister, called for his people to refute Bruce. Bruce is talking from the perspective of someone that has left fundamentalist Christianity, specifically he left Independent Fundamentalist Baptist religion and theology far behind. Please keep this in mind while reading his rebuttal of Ham. If you disagree with him that’s fine, but do not attack him personally for being an atheist or protest that his writing doesn’t belong here. ) … [Read more...]

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“Lies Women Believe” Review: 215 – 242

lies-women-believe

by Samantha Field cross posted from Samantha P Field.comIf there’s one thing that doing all these reviews have taught me about writing non-fiction books, it’s to avoid getting repetitive in the last two chapters. A lot of what Nancy covers in this last part of Lies Women Believe she’s already been over in different ways before. However she’s not completely unoriginal, so let’s dive in. IF MY CIRCUMSTANCES WERE DIFFERENT, I WOULD BE DIFFERENT … [Read more...]

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