Stand Up and Speak Your Truth

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixI have always had a hard time standing up for myself. I chalk it up to the way I grew up. I grew up in a cult where women and children weren't allowed to speak up for themselves, especially when we were abused. We weren't allowed to ask "Why?" even in a quiet voice. We were to take abuse quietly, submissively, like Godly females would. Otherwise, all hell would break loose. So, my sisters and I grew up with blank, obedient minds. We were trained to obey male authority without question, and we had a healthy fear of the chain of command above us. We were Godly, submissive sheep who obeyed at the blink of an eye. We grew up with no defenses … [Read more...]

Triggers: So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next?

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We're starting a new series called "So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next" with posts about healing, explaining some of the things most people that walk away from spiritual abuse suffer from after leaving as well as information on healing from abuse. We invite anyone that wants to write a post for this series to email Suzanne, NLQ Moderator/Admin at CaluluNLQ(at)gmail(dot)com. … [Read more...]

Then and Now

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixI'm becoming more and more aware that I don't need to "aware" of my beliefs in order for them to affect my life.My beliefs shape the way my life is branching out right at this very moment, even if many of these beliefs were formed many years ago and I don't give them much thought today. … [Read more...]

There’s No Easy Way to Get “Well”

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by Lisa Kerr cross posted from her blog My Cult LifeA little more backstory on why I took an extended break from the blog:I became a recluse. I’m not about to compare myself to J.D. Salinger, but I will say I understand him. If you don’t know, he’s the author of The Catcher in the Rye. As his book’s popularity grew, Salinger withdrew from the public. He published less new work and cut off contact with people. … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: Pick a Girl with Low Self-Esteem (Yes Really)

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by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love Joy FeminismCreated To Be His Help Meet, pp. 140-141 In the coming pages, we will discuss how we need to cook, clean, take care of your children, etc. These are important and necessary, but the buck always stops right here at the action word reverence. A man will allow his woman many, many faults, as long as he knows that she thinks he is great. If she will just look into his face with adoration, if she is thankful to him for loving her, he will adore her. She can dress awful, be grossly overweight, have terrible hair, not cook so well, be a little lazy and dumb, and not be one bit pretty, but if she will just think and show that he is w … [Read more...]

Seven Signs of Spiritual Abuse

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by Boze Herrington cross posted from his blog The Talking Llama(Please welcome Boze to NLQ and the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network! He's an awesome addition!)For about five years during and after college I was trapped in a dangerous Charismatic religious community. Living in a spiritually abusive environment is like a nightmare that you can’t wake out of. It can be hard to tell right from wrong, left from right. The people you trust the most could betray you at … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: Women Can Be Effective Leaders – So What?

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by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love Joy FeminismCreated To Be His Help Meet, pp. 119-121Some of you have noted that Debi’s getting a bit repetitive. In future posts I’m going to try to move more quickly through parts where Debi’s simply restating what she’s already said. In this section, though, Debi says something I don’t think she’s said before. God expresses a clear and sure mandate when he tells us: “But I suffer not [do not allow] a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, [that includes your pastor] but to be in silence.” (I Timothy 2:12).I call your attention back to the argument in a letter we read in chapter 5. [I reviewed that section in this post … [Read more...]

Thank You, Dad

by AJ cross posted from her blog I am PhoenixDad,Thank you for showing me who I am not.Age fiveYou beat me with a rod because I laughed when my baby brother shot peas out of his mouth and laughed. My baby brother wasn't obeying you when told to eat neatly, and you said he was old enough to have the devil beat out of him. You said the next one who laughed when my baby brother spit peas onto his high chair would get the rod. The next one was me. So you beat me with a wooden rod. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Stay in the Abuse?

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by Stacy McDonald of Ladies Against Feminism and Your Sacred Calling - Persecution from...Christians? Whether persecution comes from strangers, extended family, the government, neighbors, an unsaved spouse, even church family or fellow homeschoolers, know that conflict will come when you attempt to live out Christ without compromise. Be prepared—but also be prepared to praise Him through it. As you remain faithful, God will work mightily in the midst of your trial. And, if you are afraid that you won’t be faithful, don’t worry! Ask Him and He will create in you a faithful heart, so that He may do that great work in and through you. … [Read more...]

Religion Makes Abuse Easy

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am Phoenix(Editor's Note - Let's all welcome AJ as she is the newest member of NLQ's Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network! Welcome AJ!)Religion makes abuse easy. There it is, pure and simple. A truth I've born witness to.Walk with me down this road. Travel back in time with me, and open the window to the kitchen in my parents' house. Poke your head in and listen with me. Look at the old farmstead kitchen table, and the meek kids with their heads lowered in submission, while the patriarch booms on at the head of the table, lecturing and teaching after dinner before everyone's dismissed from the table. … [Read more...]


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