Finding the Strength to Give Yourself Permission to Leave

Image from Facebook used with permission from Real Life Bad Guy 485

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog Every Breaking WaveI remember the last two years before I walked away from my old church. Every Saturday night or early Sunday morning I would have a nightmare involving church. They always involved church. It might be something like the pastor calling me out for some imagined sin from the pulpit and he and I fighting in the sanctuary. One time I dreamed that my home was filled with an abundance, a crazy wild abundance of things, like opening the bread box to have three fresh loaves leaping out instead of one, or opening the silverware drawer and finding set after set of silver in the drawer. That dream was terrifying because I was … [Read more...]

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The Not-So-Ridiculous Reasons People Leave Church

10-reasons

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P FieldEvery once in a while, someone I know on Facebook will share a joke or a meme that makes me grit my teeth because it makes me feel dismissed. Most recently it was this one: … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Part 5 – Every Woman a Jezebel?

quotingquiverfull

by Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy - The Jezebel ProfileEditor's note: So pointing out a spiritually abusive leader to your husband and having him see what you're saying is true is also another hallmark of an 'evil Jezebel'? Makes me wonder what's going on in the churches  Michael Pearl has pastored of for even this to be thought of as manipulating and evil.  At the end of this piece Debi starts to explain what a non-Jezebel looks like in the Bible. … [Read more...]

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How to Keep From Spiritual Abusing People

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsTell the truth.That’s it.You’re probably thinking that’s crazy, but think about it.  If you have been spiritually abused, think about if the perpetrator had told the truth.“I am not open to questions.”“You have to support the staff and their decisions no matter what.”“We do not allow people to express concerns.”“I’m only interested in getting my own way.” … [Read more...]

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How to Spiritually Abuse Your Children in Three Steps

JoeSands

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous Circumspection Step One - Repeatedly teach them something that the rest of society would find weird, "out there", or flat-out offensive.Step Two - Tell them that the negative reaction of the "rest of the world" proves that the above "something" is true and must be adhered to even more rabidly. … [Read more...]

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The Fantasy of Church Culture

Sometimes, waking up is a process. Screen cap from the Disney film 'Frozen'

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalIn my last post, I mentioned watching the efforts of my ex-fellow elder to pretend he was unaware of my presence. I also mentioned how funny I found them. (I also admitted that I used to find this sort of behaviour deeply painful and hurtful.) So when a friend commented on my Facebook page that it gave her hope that she might also get to that same point of freedom from the pain, it made me stop and think about my response to his performance, and how I have got to this place myself. … [Read more...]

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Differentiating Between ‘Cult’, ‘Cultic’ and ‘Spiritual Abuse’

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from Under Much GraceWhat is the difference between "cult" and "cultic?" (Sociologically Speaking) It’s a matter of degree. Defining terms is vital.Concerning things "cultic" versus a "cult." If you’re the average guy (or gal) sitting in a church or a concerned significant other of someone in a group, the first thing you generally notice is that something bothers you about the group. This realization is true of any subtle deception or of insidious problems such as something wrong with your car. You hear an unfamiliar noise and the right side of your brain become sensitized and unconsiously starts putting things together (as a built in defense mechanism). … [Read more...]

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Scott Brown’s Seven Questions For True Believers

Vyckie

by Vyckie Garrison No Longer Quivering founderVery interesting ... Scott Brown recently added a video to the National Center for Family Integrated Churches network page with a disclaimer stating that NCFIC doesn't actually evaluate the churches listed in the network, and he lists seven questions to ask which supposedly will help True Believers™ find "healthy congregations." … [Read more...]

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Is Spiritual Abuse Biblical?

CindyKunsman

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceEssentially, the most vivid examples of spiritual abuse come from Ezekiel 34 and Zechariah 11, with the consummate example of spiritual abuse embodied in the Pharisees and Sadducees. Though I’ve listed the references for these Scriptures below, I have also displayed the full texts on the Under Much Grace website, and you can LINK HERE to read them (and as of April 2012, they are also noted below).There are also two excellent articles that discuss whether or not spiritual abuse is actually found within Scripture itself. … [Read more...]

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Random Thoughts

Ellen

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI am a teacher.  Of 6th graders.  Music.  I often say that I teach so that I can rest up from my summer.  I’ve been on summer break for 10 days and I’m ready for some rest.  Taking care of an acre of yard, flower and vegetable gardens, various repairs that a 112-year-old house needs, and watching my 8-month-old granddaughter a couple of days a week keeps me on the run.  I’m also committed to helping both my son’s with their home projects – flower beds, flooring, new basement steps, refinishing woodwork.  Yeah.  Busy.  So not writing much lately.But here’s what I am thinking: … [Read more...]

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