Shutting Off My Brain ~ Part 1

by JourneyThe overt abuse began the day we got married. The wedding was wonderful. I was so excited, so happy. As we drove away to our honeymoon, two Bible College students having just pledged to the Lord their love for one another, I had stars in my eyes.Then my new husband reached over and put his hand on my breast. Not fondling, not foreplay, just putting it there firmly, eyes still on the road, much like a robot.I left it there for a few seconds, stunned, and then tried to gently push it off. He pushed back, and held it tightly, right where he'd put it, firmly on my body. I pushed back harder, but Mark's large muscles were stronger than mine. I felt like I was going to … [Read more...]

"Very brave women …"

No Longer Quivering is an organization by and for very brave women who have lived a life of parallel reality in a country commonly perceived to be the land of the free.Yet, there is a culture of extremism that skews and twists the Christian Bible, further empowering the males and subjugating the women to extreme servitude and excessive child-bearing. It is truly abuse - spousal abuse & child abuse - and deprives the indoctrinated from joy and a quality of life that is unavailable to them.This organization is unique and crucial in addressing the questions from those women who have already removed themselves from their misogynist environments, but who now need to feel connected with a c … [Read more...]

Purging Satan's music….

by ErikaShortly after my family entered the cult of patriarchy, my father felt convicted that he needed to rid his house of Satan's music. This meant getting rid of all his classic rock albums and cassettes. With a family of 6 struggling through the recession of the early 90s in northern NH, those albums would definitely have netted a bit of money that could have been put to good use. As most fundamentalists are taught, if it's not good for you, then it's not good for anyone. Instead of selling those albums, they had to be destroyed.When I found out about this, I was upset. There were albums in that pile that I had been brought up on. Songs that my father brought us up on and that we … [Read more...]

All Saints

by caluluToday was All Saints Day, November 1. It’s the one day where I miss my late father the most. He and I were the two in our large New Orleans clan that would observe the rituals of All Saints. We’d pack a picnic lunch of poboys and potato salad along with cleaning supplies and head out to the cemetery with my ancient Great Aunts.  In South Louisiana entire families turn out at the graveyard to spend time remembering and honoring dead relatives by cleaning the tombstones. A special time of family remembrances and togetherness. It was our ritual that I still carry out when I’m in South Louisiana.It’s a ritual that my years in fundamentalist Quiverful country robbed from me. In my y … [Read more...]

Someone was trying to control every aspect of my life … including my clothes

by ErikaMe and my youngest brother, 1991 After being made to quit the basketball team and the FHA group, I was trying to find any way that I possibly could to stay close to my friends. I called them when I could, I would wait outside on my porch after school ended so that I could talk to my classmates that lived on my street as they walked home each afternoon, I would try to get down to the school or a friend's house when the chance came available. In the meantime, my parents were withdrawing us from as much as they could to be able to cut off as much outside influence and friendship as possible. I remember Mr. Thompson feeding my father the line, "Take away everything that is important to … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: "The children do not get it at all …"

This letter which I wrote to Jonathan Lindvall via his "Bold Christian Living" email discussion list fits into the time period of the latest installment of my story.  This one is total crap ~ I was trying so desperately to figure a way to get Angel to accept and embrace the godly, quiverfull lifestyle which we'd chosen for our family ~ I think that my desperation is quite apparent in this rather pathetic letter: Dear Mr. Lindvall,Thank you so much for your ministry -- you have been a great encouragement to my husband & me.  I have a concern that I thought you might be able to address as you come from a godly Christian background.  You may have already dealt with this subject and if so, … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: A Terrible Secret

by SierraWhen we went to visit the house in Pennsylvania, it seemed remote, dark and expansive. At the inquisitive yet reticent age of seven, I hovered behind my mother’s leg as we looked around the basement of the long ranch house. It wasn’t quite a finished basement, but there was a bar installed with Heineken cans lining the ceiling. A child about my age was sitting on the floor playing with some ugly 1990s toys. We shared a mutual glance of childhood understanding: we were not agents in this business of buying, selling and leasing real estate (I couldn’t yet wrap my mind around what “real estate” meant in the first place). We were the dolls in our parents’ dollhouses, and I was displa … [Read more...]

An open letter to Frank Schaeffer

Dear Frank,I am a former Christian homeschooling mother of seven who finally walked away from fundamentalism after our radical extremism drove my oldest daughter to attempt suicide ~ and I would like to help you spread your message and sell your books.In bible college, your father was my absolute hero ~ I read all of his books and was determined to study Christian apologetics until I could defend my faith as skillfully as Francis Schaeffer!However, as the years went by, fundamentalist "family values" put me in my place as a woman ~ and so I shifted my focus and that's when your mother, Edith became my role model as I devoted myself to homemaking and motherhood.I dutifully birthed … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: I Will Lay Me Down

by TapatiRadha and Krishna My 18th birthday came and went in December. We didn’t celebrate birthdays, although I’d made a cake for Mike’s birthday in September. I was disappointed that he did nothing for mine. I was used to celebrating it every year in some way.I began to talk about having a baby. It seemed like many of the women were having babies in New Dwaraka and the more time I spent with moms, the more I wanted a baby of my own. While there was no expectation that we would have lots of children, having children was the point of being householders. We were supposed to raise good devotee children, children who would be even more devoted than we were because they wanted to take birth … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Please do not refer to homosexuals as "gay"

Warning: If you are a sensitive individual ~ possibly prone to PTSD reactions ~ please be aware that this particular edition of my "Tour de Crap" will likely trip your trigger.  It's a choice piece to be sure ~ and timely too, in light of all the ruckus over the Conservative Bible Project's determination to eliminate liberal/progressive bias from the bible.  That's right, not even the bible itself is conservative enough for True Believers ™.I understand the mentality ~ BTDT, wrote the following column for our "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper back when my head was totally "there" ~ that is, in a place of absolutist, black & white, no-room-for-compromise thinking.Okay ~ and I have to sa … [Read more...]


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