Gaslighting

Lamplighter Lighting Gas Street Light

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts Editor's Note: We've covered this topic before but it never hurts to revisit some of the basics of harmful practices in churches and the world.I’ve been reading a bit about gas-lighting lately and at first I didn’t think that it played a part in my spiritual abuse. Maybe that’s because many of the articles and blogs that I read assumed that we all know what gas-lighting is already and so they didn’t give a very complete description or definition. I think it was the word “crazy” that finally hit home with me. Essentially, as I started putting it all together, I determined that gas-lighting is when someone tries to make you believe y … [Read more...]

Food and Religion – Its Ugly Shadow

On 'Mad Men' Betty Draper Francis was thin-heavy-thin and it had more to do with her emotions than anything else. Like it does for many of us.

by Stephanie - a guest post at Lana Hope's Wide Open Ground. Please be sure to visit Stephanie at her blog - Stephanie Hoffpauir(Editors Note: In the wake of Thanksgiving and the build up to Christmas I think it is important to think about how much stress and unhappiness play a role in keeping us bound to some not so healthy habits. No fat shaming here, lawdy I'm the last person to be throwing fat-rocks, but just have to point out the hypocrisy in the church over weight. Where I attended we were told that being overweight was a huge sin, the sin of gluttony, which only made everyone feel guilty and eat even more. It added to the stress and seemed cruel considering the high percentage of … [Read more...]

What is That Sorry Worth?

sorrybart

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalSince my own devastating 'church' experience, I've been reading and learning all I can about abuse. What it looks like. How it manifests. Why both abuser and abused seem to act out their parts as if reading from some ineluctable script, regardless of the finer details of the situation. … [Read more...]

Christians Understand Your Feelings Better Than You

Praying woman hands

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons [content note: fundie-speak about “conviction”] As you all know, a little while ago I attended The Reformation Project’s conference, and it was an experience I appreciated and enjoyed. It wasn’t completely sunshine and roses for me, as Friday morning a couple protestors showed up outside the … [Read more...]

Day 4 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Power Part 3

grandhaven

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation.” Is 12:2,3 Day 4: The balance of power. … [Read more...]

Day 3 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Own Power Part 2

bayou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you are following the 21 Days of Healing, please remember to continue to work on changing your brain. You will want to continue to replace the messages that your abusers gave you by focusing on the truth of what God has to say about you and your relationship with Him. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3 … [Read more...]

Day 2 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaim Your Power – Part 1

golden

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFirst, let me remind you that if you are walking through these 21 Days of Healing, keep working on Day 1. “God loves you with an everlasting love.”Now for Day 2: … [Read more...]

Day 1 of 21 Days of Healing: Change Your Brain

Eilean Donan Castle

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWhile my most recent church experience involved over a decade of abusive conduct toward me, the church I attended before was also fraught with spiritual abusive. So for nearly 20 years, I had been beaten down, kicked in the corner, and had my standing as a Christian questioned. … [Read more...]

21 Days of Healing – An Introduction

healing1

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsDecember 20, 2013. That’s the day that my husband received an email from one of the pastor’s of our former church telling us that we were to leave. All because my husband had said that they needed to apologize to me. Until the moment when he insisted there needed to be an apology, it appeared that there was hope. For communication. For a meeting. The anticipation of a God-honoring conclusion to years of spiritual abuse. … [Read more...]

Attitude Matters

time

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalThe other day, I had a conversation at work that got me thinking. … [Read more...]


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