Recognizing Pervasive, Poisonous Power in Marriage

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The Shepherd “There are two kinds of power. One kills the spirit. The other nourishes the spirit. The first is Power Over. The other is Personal Power. Power Over shows up as control and dominance. Personal Power shows up as mutuality and co-creation. Mutuality is a way of being with a person which promotes the growth and well-being of one's self and the other person by means of clear communication and empathetic understanding. Co-creation is a consciously shared participation in life which helps one reach one's goals.” … [Read more...]

Surviving Complementarianism

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samanthapfield.comOver the past few days, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood held their annual conference, which was titled “The Beauty of Complementarity” this year. I knew it was happening sometime soon, and yesterday some of the people I follow on Twitter started using the #CBMW16 hashtag, or responding to people who were. If you’d like to read some excellent commentary, I highly suggest looking up @miheekimkort and @BroderickGreer. Yesterday, inspired by others using the #CBMW16 tag, I took the opportunity to voice a concept that I’ll probably be shouting about until complementarianism is dead and buried: … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: So If You’re Humble & Godly Enough the Abuse Will Magically Stop?

by Rick Thomas at Rick Thomas.net - Should I Count My Mean Husband More Significant Than I Count Myself?Editor's note: This is one of those crazy-making pieces of illogic that set women up for abuse in Quiverfull Evangelical Christianity, the magic formula of being humble enough, Godly enough, pure-minded enough, good enough that it will stop the abuse. Wake up and smell the coffee, Church, humility and humbleness will NEVER stop an abuser who is determined to hurt you. There are piles of dead or battered women who tried just this advice and still got beaten. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Women Overusing ‘Abuse’?

by Lori Alexander from Always Learning - The Overuse of the Word 'Abuse'Editor's note: So if your husband is looking at porn or telling you that you're a piece of garage this is somehow a reaction to something you have done? I don't think so. Abusive takes many subtle forms that are sometimes hard to see when you're in a relationship but someone else making the choice to abuse you is not your fault! She should rename her blog because she's not learning a damn thing except how to silence and shame abuse victims. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Force Your Body To Turn On, Or Just Fake That Orgasm?

by Biblical Gender Roles at Biblical Gender Roles.com - How Can a Husband Enjoy Sex That is Grudgingly Given by His Wife?Editor's note: As always we're linking to Dood Obsessed With His Penis through Do Not Link.com. No need to inflate his ego any larger by increasing his Google rankings, which he's crowed about several times in his blog. Okay, this is getting even weirder than usual, first he says that women need to focus on their bodies being ready for sex and follows that by saying she should fake her orgasm if she's not turned on. Translation: he does not care if she enjoys it as long as Mr. Happy gets off. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – Christian Economic Abuse is A-Okay With Jesus?

by Biblical Gender Roles from his blog Biblical Gender Roles – Can a Christian husband deny his wife equal access to his income?Editor's note: According to this guy the pastor is the judge, jury and almost executioner in all matters involving marital disputes. This isn't very fair to either spouse or even the pastor. Most pastors have better things to do than verbally spank people with the Bible for behaving badly. Why does a woman need the pastor's permission to leave someone that is clearly participating in economic abuse against her? … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Christian Economic Abuse Is A-Okay With Jesus?

by Biblical Gender Roles from his blog Biblical Gender Roles - Can a Christian husband deny his wife equal access to his income?Editor's note: Not if he wants to have consensual sex with her ever again.This guy seems to be hell bound and determined to do all the things that would clearly lead his wife to not be in the mood for sexy fun times. This is what Economic Abuse can look like, no matter what your views on equality in marriage are. I'm guessing he thinks that the husband automatically gets access to the woman's wages even as he's controlling access to finances for the wife.This is also why so many Christian women struggle when their husbands die with the issue of making … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 5 – Have Sex With Me Or Else?

by Biblical Gender Roles from BiblicalGenderRoles.com – 8 Steps to Confront Your Wife’s Sexual RefusalEditor's note: And now we approach the worst part of the entire piece, a list of how to force your wife to have sex with you. Many of these steps fall under a label we call "Economic Abuse" here. His approach would be recognized as abusive by more people.  Any man that tries these things on you in order to control you is someone you should not be with. Step 2 would end the marriage for me, before we got to the old 'control her with money' thing. This whole list is shameful and not Christian. … [Read more...]

Fascinating Womanhood Review: Perfect Follower

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons When I first started this series, I mentioned how Helen had the unpleasant habit of appearing to be quite supportive. In many places, she tells women that they need to be bold, strong– she even uses the word assertive at times. However, I also mentioned how whenever she says something that seems forward thinking, she always undoes it in the surrounding texts. In this way, she’s a bit like Lucy and the football. She tells you that it is perfectly alright to expect your husband to listen to you, or to not be abused, but then she does complete about-face in everything else she says. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Biblical Character?

by Jeff Owens of Bible Believer Net - The Attributes of a Wife Who Possesses Character 1. A wife with character will be in submission to her husband, … [Read more...]