Before There Was Me

by Mari(Editors note: Please join me in welcoming the newest member Mari of the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network. Mari will be telling her story here starting with her mother. Thanks for joining us Mari!)My mom spent her childhood in south central North Dakota and north central South Dakota. I’m not clear on the details of her childhood, but I do know that they lived on at least two different properties in North Dakota, but she attended church and graduated from high school in the little town of Pollock, South Dakota.Pollock is a beautiful place. Not because of scenery or landscaping, but because the ideals, the mindset, and the sense of community are beautiful. It’s like go … [Read more...]

My mom is going back to school!

by Sierra(Editors note: Thank you NLQ readership for your part in making this happen! )Some of you may remember this post, in which I described the frustration of discovering that a clerical error had cost my mom her chance to go back to school for her bachelor’s degree. Leaving for school and realizing that my mother would not be able to get her degree felt a lot like survivor’s guilt. I was the only one on a clear path out of poverty. She threw her support behind me, and I did the only thing I could do: studied hard to make it up to her.Now, years later, a stubborn daughter, a website, a loan and a very generous group of donors have changed the tide. My mother is going back to s … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 9

by CaluluHigh school graduation loomed for Tom's oldest non-disabled kid, a son that's as bright as they come. The son has always been in the gifted and talented program at the local schools and was eligible for a few different college scholarships. The problem was that except for the small scholarship money there was no other funds for college. the scholarships were about enough to pay Tom Jr.'s tuition at community college but not enough to pay for books, a car, and gas back and forth much less pay for room, board and tuition at one of Virginia's four year universities.How do I know that? Because Hubby was the recipient of a late night drunken call from Tom, a call out of the blue. … [Read more...]

Review: Pixar’s Brave is Braver Than it Looks

by SierraPixar’s Brave is every fairy tale and none of them. It’s every trope and none of them. It’s filled with lovable scamps, bumbling eccentrics, defiant courage, enchanted landscapes, stifling expectations and unintended consequences. And it’s filled with beautiful brogue and wayward redheads.I’m going to talk my way through this movie. It’s currently 10:30pm. I left the movie theater 30 minutes ago, oddly silent as I tried to figure out what the message was that I got from that film. What follows is my first attempt to process the story, and to figure out whether or not it follows in the footsteps of Tangled, the cinematic anthem for ex-fundamentalist daughters.My re … [Read more...]

To Stand Up and Speak: The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blog Network

by Melissa Permission to LiveMy sister was the one who introduced me to No Longer Quivering. She didn’t actually mean to, she told me she was reading a website called Quivering Daughters, and when I googled it I found No Longer Quivering instead. I wanted to make sure that this was a good thing for a Christian to read, and so I looked around for what the conservative Christian community was saying about the website, and read that the founder of the site was a raving atheist and a lesbian. Of course neither claim was true, I believe at that point Vyckie Garrison was only questioning her faith, and even though she now considers herself an atheist, I have never experienced to her to b … [Read more...]

Hot Pink A & ‘Good’ Christian Disapproval – SASBN

by CaluluI've been putting off doing my introductory piece for No Longer Quivering's Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network because I was stuck in writers block land. That fun place were you can't put a finger to the keyboard and come up with any that makes any sense at all on certain subjects.  Besides, my blog is more boring day to day with a dash of gluten free recipes posted and the odd commentary on something from my old church life. I'm not intellectually dissecting harmful spiritual beliefs. I leave that to those more intelligent and less ADD than myself. So I never felt like I could contribute as much as the others to the SASBN.I do talk frequently about my friend Josie's … [Read more...]

Pornography and the Fundy

by Calulu(Warning, possibly triggering and some of the links are of the not safe for work variety.)Recently I started thinking about pornography. Not that I was partaking it in, it's never done anything for me. I might as well be looking at a pile of rutabagas or dirty socks. It is what it is, but it never did much to make me experience sexual feelings of excitement. But then again, I did grow up in New Orleans, with its capacious amounts of ever present sex shops, hookers, strip clubs and just general debauchery. I was jaded about such things by the age of eighteen and have never viewed them as erotic in any way.Plus I understand the Feminist views on pornography objectifying … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 3

by Cindy FosterTHE CHURCH WE WEREThe Preacher and his wife graduated from Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. At the time he attended there, the college was quite conservative. There were strict rules about dress, dating, curfews, entertainment, music and much more.The Preacher actually grew up in Springfield and was a member of a church that was not nearly as rigid in its standards as the college was, so in the beginning of his ministry as pastor, he did not have the extreme beliefs that he eventually embraced later in his ministry.It was several years after the church had started and was established with its own building that the more relaxed climate began … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban Part 2

by Cindy Foster FAMILY AS NEIGHBORSAt first we lived in duplexes right next door to each other.  Then, both families jointly purchased five acres, divided them equally and each built a house on their two and a half acres.As more children came, naturally there would be conflicts between theirs and ours which produced conflicts between us, their parents.  This was particularly difficult for me because whenever arguments erupted between them (for instance) over toys or other belongings as to what belonged to whom, my sister-in-law would automatically assume the role as head arbitrator.  She was ‘The Pastor’s Wife‘ which gave her a kind of ‘authority’ to be the decision-mak … [Read more...]

Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network: The Fine Print …

The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network is open to all bloggers who are survivors of spiritual abuse regardless of what faith tradition they come from or where they are at now spirituality-wise.Part of the success of the SASBN is our willingness to cooperatively work together and cross-promote the blogs and blog posts of other network participants. Individual members are encouraged to post links to the SASBN member blogs on the sidebar of their blogs and link to, crosspost, or discuss SASBN articles as a source of blogging material and discussion topics.It is not required, however, to link to every blog in the network. We are aware that the diversity of the Spiritual Abuse … [Read more...]