Questioning the Pearls: Gender Role Reversals?

For well over a year we’ve been running a second Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ on Sundays, filled with questions by young ladies trying to get ready for marriage. Since we’ve run through many of the questions on their site it’s time to shift Sundays to something else, like perhaps examining the cornucopia of probably fake emails and questions that Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy post on their website and the possibly poisonous answers they give. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull – Wives Throw Temper Tantrums?

by Ken Alexander on his wife Lori's blog The Transformed Wife - One Long Temper TantrumEditor's note: Notice as he speaks about counseling the husband of a 'bitter' wife that not once does he say one thing about how the husband might possibly be failing in his job of being a husband. Oh no, it's all about demonizing the wife and coming up with dehumanizing phrasing to reduce women to something less than men, less human and more child like. Hate just drips off both Lori and Ken, certainly no love, mercy or compassion. Toxic advice from toxic people just leads to the creation of more toxic people. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Never Nag Husband For Any Reason?

by Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife - My Husband's Past StruggleEditor's note: Oh my, Lori is expounding on the point in her book where she says if your husband dies of a preventable illness, or suffers the logical outcome of a bad behavior you are to smile sweetly and leave him to his doom. I get the feeling yet again that if that actually played out in her own marriage she would be pointing at the corpse and yelling 'I TOLD YOU SO!'Reading through the entire post I get the vibe that it's not so much Ken's struggle as it was Lori's with the years of nagging. No one, no matter what sex or marital status, enjoys being nagged. Except maybe a few people into abuse and … [Read more...]

Encouraging Your Husband – Respect Part 1

New series starting today. As many of you know I'm in the midst of preparing for a move. One of the things I do daily is go through closets and rooms, sorting possessions into donate, keep, sell and throw away piles. While doing that I am discovering bits and pieces of flotsam from my former life. I found sermon notes from a few bizarre and toxic sermons at my old church, including one involving my old pastor 'spiritually cleaning' one of the most haunted houses in Harrisonburg, Va. More on that in another post. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Marriage Counseling is Just Mud Slinging?

by Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church - Why I Don't Do Marriage CounselingEditor's note: Steven has a point that many people that go to the pastor to have him mediate a squabble are looking mostly for justification. Marriage counseling, or at least dealing with sudden crisis in the marriages of his congregation, is part of most pastors job description. Oh yeah, he's part of the make it up as you go along movement in Evangelical Fundamentalism without any structure or authority over him. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Forgiving Josh Duggar?

by Lori Alexander from Always Learning - My Letter to Anna DuggarEditor's note: Considering the earlier Quoting Quiverfull cited one of Lori's younger readers being convicted of not being submissive enough by this open letter to poor cheated upon Anna Duggar, beleaguered wife of Josh Duggar, I thought we needed to take another look at what Lori said. It's the usual submit harder and he will change message, the most toxic idea in subsets of Evangelicalism. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Awful Marriage? Submit Harder!?

by one of Lori Alexander poor young deluded readers at The Transformed Wife - Submit YOURSELVES to Your HusbandEditor's note: A rather toxic stew. Duggar worship? Check. Lori worship and groveling? Check. Decision to have no needs, desires or wants? Check. Is being an extra-Biblical Stepford Wife by suppressing every natural urge what Jesus ordered? I don't think so. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Men Are Blameless in Marriage?

by Larry Solomon from Biblical Gender Roles - Why Unity in Marriage Has More to do With the Wife Than the Husband Editor's note: Larry starts this off by claiming that there are 5 steps to achieving marital unity and they can be summed up simply - Have sex, husbands sacrifice a little time talking to the woman and the woman must submit in every way plus never say an unkind word ever to the husband. Seriously, Larry thinks that the husbands only responsibilities towards unity are screw and listen to her a few minutes daily? It is just not that simple Larry old boy! … [Read more...]

The Power of the Transformed Wife: Chapter 6 – Smile and Give Up

by Suzanne TitkemeyerThis chapter is titled 'Easy Conflict Resolution' and can boiled down to exactly two simple statements.Don't argue - discuss rationally instead. Wives must give up their fleshly needs and desires.That first message is actually a good one. Lori goes into detail about how to use good communication skills to keep from knocking heads on the issues you don't agree with your spouse on. Then she leavens that message with toxic nuggets of 'shut up and smile!' … [Read more...]

The Power of the Transformed Wife: Chapter 4 – Lori Says You Are Reading Paul All Wrong!

by Suzanne TitkemeyerLast chapter was all about learning not to control what your husband eats, no matter how badly it pisses you off. Lori goes so far as to say that if your husband develops diabetes or keels over dead from a widowmaker heart attack brought on by his ice cream and potato chip binges it is entirely his fault because he made the choice to hoover down the bad stuff. But you get the distinct impression that if Ken bought the farm from a heart attack Lori would be gloating in an 'I told you so' mood over his coffin. … [Read more...]