Is This Your Pastor?

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsHere is another interesting article on Covert Narcissism – specifically in the pastorate.  As I read the indicators, I was again nodding my head in agreement.Link to pdfThe bullet point list in the article talks about “one-upping you in conversation.”  I hadn’t thought much about this until I saw this point, but, yes, that happened in my very limited conversations with the pastor. … [Read more...]

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The Dangers of Religious Leaders

Image from Living Liminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI came across this article over the weekend which references a recent study whose findings will no doubt ruffle a few religious feathers. The title of the article declares, "Religious children meaner than agnostic and atheist kids, study finds".The article shares this quote: “Religion and morality are two different things,” said lead author Jean Decety, a Chicago University neuroscientist. “Past research has demonstrated that religious people are no more likely to do good than their non-religious counterparts. Our study goes beyond that, showing that religious people are less generous — not only adults, but children, too.” … [Read more...]

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How to Keep From Spiritual Abusing People

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsTell the truth.That’s it.You’re probably thinking that’s crazy, but think about it.  If you have been spiritually abused, think about if the perpetrator had told the truth.“I am not open to questions.”“You have to support the staff and their decisions no matter what.”“We do not allow people to express concerns.”“I’m only interested in getting my own way.” … [Read more...]

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“Pay Now, Play Later”

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe heard this quote often at our former church:“Pay now, play later.  Play now, pay later.”One of the most impressive things we noticed when we first began attending our former church was that the senior pastor appeared to be very “servant hearted.”  Unlike the majority of churches that have a reserved spot for the pastor right next to the building, he would park at the far end of the parking lot so that others could park closer.  After services on Sunday, he would return all of his glasses (he usually had three or four glasses of water collected under his chair) to the kitchen and he would go into the restrooms and collect the … [Read more...]

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The gods Have Clay Feet: A Few Thoughts About Pastors

Image by Bruce Gerencser

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserThe Fundamentalist/Evangelical Christian church has many gods. While they will profess to worship the true and living God, the God of the Bible, often their true object of worship is human and not divine. Most Fundamentalist/Evangelical Christian churches have a congregational form of church government. Some churches have adopted an elder rule form of government. Regardless of what form of government a church adopts, there can be no doubt about who really runs the church. The CEO, the boss man, the head honcho is the pastor, also known as  the senior pastor, executive pastor, and prophet, priest and king. … [Read more...]

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I Have Trust Issues

livingliminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalA few weeks ago, a friend asked me about whether I was thinking about finding another church to attend. I hesitated, talked around the question for a bit, and then I was finally able to admit out loud that I have trust issues when it comes to church leadership.There was a time when I would automatically trust someone because they said they were a christian. That went doubly so for anyone in leadership in a church. Stupidly, naively, I bought into the idea that christians in general, and christian leaders in particular, could be trusted. … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Labeling Women As ‘Pushy Broads’?

quotingquiverfull

by Doug Wilson of Blog and MaBlog quoted by Tim Fall in response to an article by Jen Wilkins at The Gospel Coalition titled How Men Pastors Can Better Relate To WomenEditor's note: Say what??? Reminds me of that scripture that says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. He really must hate women if this is what he calls many of them! This is unacceptable language for someone who is supposed to a pastor. It proves that Wilson's brand of Christianity is a very unsafe place for women where they'll eventually be spiritually abused. … [Read more...]

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Day 3 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Own Power Part 2

bayou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you are following the 21 Days of Healing, please remember to continue to work on changing your brain. You will want to continue to replace the messages that your abusers gave you by focusing on the truth of what God has to say about you and your relationship with Him. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3 … [Read more...]

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Day 2 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaim Your Power – Part 1

golden

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFirst, let me remind you that if you are walking through these 21 Days of Healing, keep working on Day 1. “God loves you with an everlasting love.”Now for Day 2: … [Read more...]

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Journal Entry, April 1, 2010

sancuary

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you’ve ever wondered what goes on inside the head of a person who is mired in spiritual abuse, this is an example. It is an entry from the journal that I would take to church and write in during services. This entry is from Maundy Thursday, April 1, 2010. I sat in the very back pew and observed the service. I could not participate. As you will see, I was convinced that God had completely rejected me because of the way the leadership had been treating me for about a decade. This journal entry documents the level to which spiritual abuse had taken me. As the leaders and congregation moved through the service, this is what I wrote: … [Read more...]

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