Day 3 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Own Power Part 2

bayou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you are following the 21 Days of Healing, please remember to continue to work on changing your brain. You will want to continue to replace the messages that your abusers gave you by focusing on the truth of what God has to say about you and your relationship with Him. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3 … [Read more...]

Day 2 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaim Your Power – Part 1

golden

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFirst, let me remind you that if you are walking through these 21 Days of Healing, keep working on Day 1. “God loves you with an everlasting love.”Now for Day 2: … [Read more...]

Journal Entry, April 1, 2010

sancuary

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you’ve ever wondered what goes on inside the head of a person who is mired in spiritual abuse, this is an example. It is an entry from the journal that I would take to church and write in during services. This entry is from Maundy Thursday, April 1, 2010. I sat in the very back pew and observed the service. I could not participate. As you will see, I was convinced that God had completely rejected me because of the way the leadership had been treating me for about a decade. This journal entry documents the level to which spiritual abuse had taken me. As the leaders and congregation moved through the service, this is what I wrote: … [Read more...]

Magic Words Syndrome

magicwords

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI recently re-read a couple of the emails (or nasty-grams, as I call them) I received from one of the board members of my old church. It was quite interesting to engage with them now, without the incredible pain of betrayal and judgement I felt at the time they were first sent. … [Read more...]

News: ‘Penis Homes’ Mark Driscoll Steps Down

markdriscoll

Remember all that message board drama with Mars Hill Pastor Mark Driscoll posting about women being nothing more than 'Penis Homes' and his online moniker of William Wallace II? Turns out it was enough to torpedo his position as senior pastor at Mars Hill Church. He stepped down this week. … [Read more...]

Accountable To Whom?

accountability

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalIt continues to disturb me how many parallels there are between my church experience and the continuing Mars Hill drama! … [Read more...]

When Church Hurts Part 6

whispering

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsThough we never had a meeting with Elliot or the leadership, I was again asked to teach a class and was also helping with a conference that our church was hosting in the spring.  When it came time for the conference, I had an opportunity to sit down with the speaker for a few minutes and, being a man of great discernment, he asked me some leading questions and I found myself telling him a bit of my story. … [Read more...]

When Church Hurts: Part 5

scienceoftruth

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFor a few years, I had the privilege of serving in my church in several ways. I took classes, my husband and I took care of a significant portion of the landscape (which had been sorely neglected) – creating sacred spaces for people to find quiet time with the Lord, and I assisted with preparing food for Sunday morning fellowship. I also had the opportunity to teach classes over our final year there. … [Read more...]

When Church Hurts Part 4

blacksheep

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsDuring all of these years, I would come to church, sit four or five rows from the pulpit, right on the center aisle, and listen to Elliot and others preach grace, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Elliot preached and preached. I wept and wept openly. I could not sing. I could not so much as close my eyes in prayer. I could not stand for the blessing at the end of the service. I knew that no matter how much Elliot preached those words to everyone else in the congregation, they were not for me. And I would email him and tell him as much. Without response. … [Read more...]

When Church Hurts: Part 2

gossip

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsSpeaking out against wrongs being perpetrated in the church . . . that was my most egregious sin.  And because of it, I had lies told about me, people eavesdropped on my conversations, and I received hate mail from a group of people telling me that I was a terrible person.My only response was to continue talking occasionally to the lay leader of the church, Denise, and to send Elliot  my questions and thoughts in emails – often asking if we could meet to talk, but never getting a response. At one point (perhaps more than one but only one I know about), Elliot shared my emails with the consistory and they wrote a letter telling me th … [Read more...]


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