True Love Doesn’t Wait

by Rosie Franklin cross posted from her blog Disrupting Dinner PartiesTrigger warning- Christian virginity/purity culture throughout (which is absolutely not sarcasm as a trigger warning). __________________Also, I told you not to read this, Mom._______________ I talked a bit Tuesday about how I lost my virginity, in my post on rape culture. I sort of mentioned but didn’t go into detail about the fact that the loss of my virginity was somewhat emotionally unmooring for me, in addition to the manner in which I “lost” it being awful. So today I’m going to talk about what I was taught about sex and virginity. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Answering the Botkin Sisters

by Vaughn Ohlman from True Love Doesn't WaitA Response to Visionary Daughters, the website of Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin. Psa 68:6  God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.I need to start this post carefully. I have the greatest respect for the Botkins, including the Botkin daughters. Their writing, their films, their vision for their family long term… I am incredibly impressed by much that I see of what they do. … [Read more...]

Premarital Sex and the Purity “Litmus Test”

by Heather Doney cross posted from her blog Becoming WorldlySo I read this blog post by Rachel Held Evans, everyone’s favorite progressive evangelical blogger. She is a beautiful writer, has fun posts, and I totally have to disagree with her wholeheartedly on something today. See, Rachel Held Evans just rejected purity culture and then tried to agree with purity culture at the same time when she wrote “Sex and The Path of Holiness.” … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: True Love Waits is Satanic?

by Vaughn Ohlman from Perservero News A friend passed me on a link to an incredibly popular post on marriage… knowing that I write on such things. And I read it, and wanted to cry (It’s Ok. I didn’t actually cry. … [Read more...]

True Love Waits

by Betty Crux If there is anything I have very, very vivid memories of, it’s youth group at either church we attended. I was a loser, no getting around it.  I wasn’t good looking, and my parents weren’t helping that fact.  I had … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: True Love?

Josh Harris from his book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" “‎True love isn't expressed in passionately whispered words an intimate kiss or a embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed … [Read more...]

Hey Christian Girl!

Last night someone pointed NLQ to this great Tumblr account - Hey Christian Girl. If cheesy Christian-speak pickup lines trigger you then I would not visit the link. It's funny and it's sad at the same time because I can so hear these things coming out of the mouths of various young Christian guys I've known in the past.NLQ Recommended Reading ...'Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment' by Janet Heimlich‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce<A HREF="h … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 1: A Secret Revealed

by Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.As many of you know, my spouse and I got married young after a short parent-supervised courtship. We began our marriage “the right way” according to everything we believed. We had obeyed our parents and stayed pure from emotional relationships or sexual activity, so when we got married neither of us had ever been intimate with any other person. We were wholeheartedly committed to our Christian beliefs at that time, feeling certain that birth control was wrong in almost any circumstance and that men should be the family leaders and women should be submissive. My hus … [Read more...]

Sexuality: the Elephant in the Room

by LatebloomerMy mom walked into my bedroom and handed me a heavy biology textbook. "Read chapter 13," she told me, breathless and blushing. Then she rushed out. I opened to the appropriate chapter: "The Reproductive System". That was my entire sex education; I was 17 years old.I think we can all agree: sex education should probably be done by people who have said the word "sex" out loud at least once in their lives.My parents' denial of sexuality couldn't stop puberty, and couldn't stop our curiosity about sex. Instead, their attitude clearly showed us kids that we could never go to our parents with any questions or concerns that were related to our sexuality or genitals. For … [Read more...]

Good Intentions, Bad Fruit

by LatebloomerI heard the stories so many times as I was growing up, the reasons for my parents' decision to pull me out of public school halfway through first grade and start to homeschool me. I heard how I cried every day when my mom dropped me off at school. I heard how I was bored in class because I had learned to read at age 3, long before going to kindergarten. I heard how my teacher was wasting classroom time on political issues by having the class write a letter about saving some whales. I heard how the teacher hurt my feelings badly by insulting my quiet speaking voice during a presentation. I heard how I had the problem boy as my seatmate because I was the best behaved student. … [Read more...]