Americans, Unite! Stand up to Christmas Creep.

Tonight, I had one of the most shocking experiences of my life. (And after our years overseas, that’s really saying something.)

I visited my neighborhood Kohl’s store here in Madison, Wisconsin. I was in the kitchen area, looking for a certain kind of towel. They didn’t really have what I was looking for. I turned to go. On my way back out through the store, there it was.

A Christmas tree.

On September 17th.

I stopped. I blinked. I swallowed. I shook my head. “What?”

When I was a kid, Christmas items knew their place—after Thanksgiving. We’re swirling all our holiday commerce together. It’s madness.

I just spent the weekend camping, in shorts and a T-shirt.

It is still technically summer.

If I urgently needed to buy an ornament, I would go to www.christmas-treasures.com or visit some kitschy shop along the interstate.

I am actually a big fan of Christmas. I consider that cute little baby to be God, so I’m pretty eager to celebrate the holiday, complete with Pagan imagery and all. But we don’t need to buy the stuff 98 days—more than three full months—before the holiday.

If the Christmas season stretches out this far, there’s no joy, no traditions, no importance. Only commerce remains, stretching throughout autumn.

Surely, in this of all years, we can come together from all across the political spectrum. Tea Partiers, to the GOP, to all those moderates, to the Democrats, and all the way across to those few Socialists hanging on—surely we can all agree that stores don’t need to be selling us pink Christmas trees before the leaves start to change.

Let’s come together.

Kohl’s, this is too much. This is the last straw. You’ve gone too far.

I will not shop at Kohl’s until 2013.

Who’s with me?


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