Life hacks

One of the diagnoses I have is ADHD; one of the two medications I'm on is used off-label for ADHD (as well as the anxiety of PTSD, which I have).  I have found that in the main, my ability to focus and get jobs done has been better, since starting this medication back in May.However, I have also noticed that since starting the medication, I've been having issues with my short-term memory, which never used to be that much of an issue before, but has caused me some problems, including awkward m … [Read more...]

A sense of wonder

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One of the things that friends and loved ones find the most endearing about me as a person is I am in many ways like a big kid.  (I am paradoxically a grumpy old man and a big kid, in one person.)  It doesn't take much to make me happy. I get REALLY EXCITED AND ENTHUSIASTIC, IN CAPSLOCK, over what might seem like little things.  I often notice things that others don't, and have created some magical moments for others wherein I point out things like leaves or dandelion puff blowing in the breeze, … [Read more...]

Online Astral Rituals

The moonlight shimmered across the still silver lake. A couple dozen of us women in cloaks steered wooden ships toward an island draped in fog. The ships were intricately carved in Celtic designs. As we reached the shores our Priestess, Shekinah Mountainwater, parted the mist. We landed and made our way onto the beach smiling and sometimes laughing excited about the ritual and wondering what spirits would join us this time. Would it be fairies, elementals or ancestors? At other times we’d follow … [Read more...]

The power of love

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I am best known as a Vanatruar, and my patron is the demon Asmodai - but the most important entity in my life is the one I refer to as D, a lore demon who I am not permitted to publicly identify.D is my de facto partner. My relationship with him is more pleasure than business, though I have dealt with him in a business context (he is in fact very, very helpful to me in that context).  But even just with strictly the intimate side of things, the last six months have been healing and … [Read more...]

Cave of Trials

Cave from shutterstock.com

I have a chronic disease called Turners Mosaic. This means that I have an x chromosome and part of one in most of my cells. This caused a collapse of my endocrine system. I suffer from depression when I think about how ill I am. Sometimes I even have pain because of my morphia, which is the thickening and tenderness of my skin. I take a daily shot to even out my blood sugar and that causes pain. But through all of my suffering the hardest part is being a survivor of sexual and verbal abuse. It … [Read more...]

Tough love

Asmodai, art by Nornoriel Lokason (2014).

As mentioned in my post "The dark side", my patron is Asmodai, better known as Asmodeus... a demon.  He is more well known as a demon of lust, but I don't work with him in this capacity - I work with him as The Judge, the pillar of severity.The name Asmodai derives from the Avestan language aēšma-daēva. Asmodai may probably have his origins as the Zoroastrian demon of wrath, Aeshma (“aeshma” literally means “wrath”). He is considered an entity who deals out revenge, most famously to King Solo … [Read more...]

“The dark side”

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While I am best known as one of the forefathers of the Vanatru movement and one of the leading resources on the Vanir and Vanatru... the Vanir are not the sole entities in my life.  I am also a demonolater; my patron is Asmodai, the demon of wrath.  The entity most important to me is one I refer to as D (a lore demon who I'm not allowed to publicly identify).This has surprised people.  "You don't look like a Satanist!" 1. I'm not a Satanist.  2. What does a Satanist look like?  They don't all … [Read more...]


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