The power of love

Two_of_them_-_Foto_Giovanni_Dall'Orto,_7-Apr-2002_3

I am best known as a Vanatruar, and my patron is the demon Asmodai - but the most important entity in my life is the one I refer to as D, a lore demon who I am not permitted to publicly identify.D is my de facto partner. My relationship with him is more pleasure than business, though I have dealt with him in a business context (he is in fact very, very helpful to me in that context).  But even just with strictly the intimate side of things, the last six months have been healing and … [Read more...]

Cave of Trials

Cave from shutterstock.com

I have a chronic disease called Turners Mosaic. This means that I have an x chromosome and part of one in most of my cells. This caused a collapse of my endocrine system. I suffer from depression when I think about how ill I am. Sometimes I even have pain because of my morphia, which is the thickening and tenderness of my skin. I take a daily shot to even out my blood sugar and that causes pain. But through all of my suffering the hardest part is being a survivor of sexual and verbal abuse. It … [Read more...]

Tough love

Asmodai, art by Nornoriel Lokason (2014).

As mentioned in my post "The dark side", my patron is Asmodai, better known as Asmodeus... a demon.  He is more well known as a demon of lust, but I don't work with him in this capacity - I work with him as The Judge, the pillar of severity.The name Asmodai derives from the Avestan language aēšma-daēva. Asmodai may probably have his origins as the Zoroastrian demon of wrath, Aeshma (“aeshma” literally means “wrath”). He is considered an entity who deals out revenge, most famously to King Solo … [Read more...]

Labor Day

I will be celebrating Labor Day as an unemployed person with a disability. I’ve been trying to find a steady job for five years. I’m qualified for customer service and there aren’t any positions for that in my small town of less than three-thousand people. The closest location with possible jobs is forty-five minutes away. Because of my PTSD I don’t work well in a high traffic office at the front desk. That narrows down the job opportunities even further. Statistics show that disabled individ … [Read more...]

“The dark side”

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While I am best known as one of the forefathers of the Vanatru movement and one of the leading resources on the Vanir and Vanatru... the Vanir are not the sole entities in my life.  I am also a demonolater; my patron is Asmodai, the demon of wrath.  The entity most important to me is one I refer to as D (a lore demon who I'm not allowed to publicly identify).This has surprised people.  "You don't look like a Satanist!" 1. I'm not a Satanist.  2. What does a Satanist look like?  They don't all … [Read more...]

To Beat Depression, Honor Your Victories

At the moment when I felt like I made it, I realized there are four facits of my life that could be called magical, not just my path as a Pagan. First I guess I should clarify what I mean when I say I felt like I made it. My personal blog, the Crimson Crescent at www.feministelemental.wordpress.com was promoted by fellow SOA contributor Nornoriel, for which I am very thankful. This occured after I wrote my most recent … [Read more...]

Little Mixing Bowl of Memories

I have a white small mixing bowl with two flat handles and tiny blue flowers. It looks a lot like the one my family used to have.When my dad was alive he would eat cereal every evening. I would sit on his lap and share while we talked about this or that. Eventually as my sisters got older we would all want to share and be near him so the bowl got bigger and bigger until it was the size of a giant mixing bowl. The bowl I have is exactly like the one Dad and I used to share when I was the … [Read more...]


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