Winter is coming

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While summer tends to be the worst time of the year for me mental health wise, winter isn't much better.  Summer is more obvious in that department, where I am irritable and don't sleep well, and prone to mood swings.  Wintertime for me is just meh.  Compared to the way my brain chemistry works in summer, it's the lesser of the two evils, but it's not fun.At least some of the reason why winter is not a great season for me is the holidays.  The holidays are difficult for me, with inescapable r … [Read more...]

Sleeping Beauty

I have this problem that when I become stressed out or depressed I get narcoleptic. All I want to do is sleep instead of doing things around the house or facing what it is that bothers me. It’s just too easy to lay down, close my eyes and drift off into another reality. This doesn’t solve anything though and I end up in a circle of anxiety and I chastise myself. Why didn’t you do the dishes? Why didn’t you do that load of laundry? Why didn’t you write something? I forget that I need to move aroun … [Read more...]

“If you just”

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Note: this post was prompted by posts made by my friend Beth (On Fibromyalgia and Spiritual Emergency, over on PaganSquare) and Heather (Let's Talk About Social Services, also over on PaganSquare).For those of you just tuning in, I have PTSD, which in my case manifests with depression and anxiety.  I have been on an antidepressant as of March, and an anti-anxiety med as of May.This is not my first go-round with medication.  I was diagnosed in 2002 and began a round of "treatment" which di … [Read more...]

To Beat Depression, Honor Your Victories

At the moment when I felt like I made it, I realized there are four facits of my life that could be called magical, not just my path as a Pagan. First I guess I should clarify what I mean when I say I felt like I made it. My personal blog, the Crimson Crescent at www.feministelemental.wordpress.com was promoted by fellow SOA contributor Nornoriel, for which I am very thankful. This occured after I wrote my most recent … [Read more...]

Drawing Strength from Nature: by CJ Blackwood

This is the last piece of the three-part collaborative series by the Staff of Asclepius contributors.One day, six months after making the choice to follow an eclectic Wiccan path, I found myself standing outside as a storm rolled in. There was an odd thought running through my head. I knew I could reach up and pull energy from that storm. So I did!I instantly felt pretty incredible. It was like downing a large coke (hold the ice) without the jitters. Or like someone had just walked up … [Read more...]

When I Hit Bottom

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My husband and I were concerned that we wouldn't be able to adopt since I am a Unitarian Universalist Pagan. All of our books went under the bed, and I put simple scented candles and a large seashell on my altar. We filled out initial state papers saying I was a UU and he was Spiritual. I wondered about the legality of this, and after nine weeks of foster/adoption classes we found out we didn't have to include that information. We were honest about my PTSD and our depression.Everything was … [Read more...]

The Long Dark Contemplation of My Soul Part 1

In ”Hestia at Work and Home”, I wrote about my new job. Unfortunately it lasted only two and a half months before I had a breakdown. A couple of cooks quit and my hours increased to almost full time. Because of my PTSD and epilepsy I can only handle part time work, which isn’t easy to find.It’s scary when you aren’t yourself. When this demented feeling takes over, filling you with pain and sorrow. Something in your mind fights the feeling that you aren't safe and you're going to die. At times … [Read more...]


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