After a lot of heartbreaking soul-searching, I’ve come to the realization that I am no longer Pagan. It hurts to admit this but I realize now in my heart of hearts that I no longer believe in Pagan values, Pagan Gods or the Pagan community. After years of struggling with this and trying so hard to muster up enthusiasm here at Patheos, I’ve reached a point where I can no longer continue on this path. I have to break ties, even though I know this will hurt my coven family and my readers.
The decisive moment came last night. I was deep in doubt regarding the direction of my life, my work and my personal morality. I needed the Truth. I needed to feel His love and acceptance. I needed my Creator. He who made the mountains, the trees and a midget. Yes, last night I was touched by the loving embrace of His Noodly Appendage.
All this time I have worshiped and served the God and Goddess of Wicca never realizing that I was really worshiping His Mighty Meatballs, which are larger than the meatballs of any other Deity. The Divine Polarity of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was revealed to me wrapped in it’s Noodly wonder and once you catch a whiff of His garlicky majesty you can no longer deny the Truth.
It’s so obvious that by nature I am one of His people. Persecuted for years, the decline of the Pirate (peaceful explorers outrageously defamed by mainstream religions) has had a direct correlation to the global rise in temperature. This is a scientific Fact and Indisputable. To respect his holy people I am writing this post in full Pirate regalia and I have never felt so clean and pure!
So along with embracing my inner Pirate, it seems fitting to announce my conversion on Friday, the holiest day of the week. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster it’s Friday and remember we are all His creatures! Honor him by having a delicious beer and declaring proudly with me, that you are a Pastafarian! CARBO DIEM!
Oh, and Happy April Fool’s Day!
We’ll miss you, Star. Here’s music to leave the stage by:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNmULx6sMo4
We’ll miss you, Star. Here’s music to leave the stage by:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNmULx6sMo4
Haha… that was awesome.
Haha… that was awesome.
XD
XD
Terrible! You really had me for a moment. I actually started thinking: have those crazy people of catholic patheos driving the fear of God in to you?
Terrible! You really had me for a moment. I actually started thinking: have those crazy people of catholic patheos driving the fear of God in to you?
This was both cruel and unusual.
This was both cruel and unusual.
Truly a historic date and change of mind. I will have to mark on the calendar the surprising events of this day. Who had any idea events of this magnitude would occur at this time of the year? Smile!Peter
Yes a date of the utmost importance…(as my son is watching Mr Noodle in the background)
Truly a historic date and change of mind. I will have to mark on the calendar the surprising events of this day. Who had any idea events of this magnitude would occur at this time of the year? Smile!Peter
Yes a date of the utmost importance…(as my son is watching Mr Noodle in the background)
I almost pissed my pants when I saw this. o_O
I almost pissed my pants when I saw this. o_O
Hail, Pastafarians! Marinara Meat!
and a Blessed Bean to you too (or is that a Lentil?!?!?!)
Lentils is Lurvely! (But, alas, I think that’s a Third Degree greeting, and I haven’t even been pre-heated yet…!?!)
Hail, Pastafarians! Marinara Meat!
and a Blessed Bean to you too (or is that a Lentil?!?!?!)
Lentils is Lurvely! (But, alas, I think that’s a Third Degree greeting, and I haven’t even been pre-heated yet…!?!)
Absolutely love love love this!
Absolutely love love love this!
Rolling….. LOL.!!!
Rolling….. LOL.!!!
LMAO…When i saw the heading of this ‘article’ i thought, yep, read it, this person has something serious and worthwhile to say….i started reading and immediately thought this person has lot the plot completely and began to giggle at the absurdity of it all…by the time i read the april fools message i was laughing very loudly…thank you for the best laugh i have had all day…
LMAO…When i saw the heading of this ‘article’ i thought, yep, read it, this person has something serious and worthwhile to say….i started reading and immediately thought this person has lot the plot completely and began to giggle at the absurdity of it all…by the time i read the april fools message i was laughing very loudly…thank you for the best laugh i have had all day…
rAmen sister!
rAmen!
rAmen sister!
rAmen!
Impressive and brave
. I must admit you got me (and I’m not often gotten)
Impressive and brave
. I must admit you got me (and I’m not often gotten)
Star, I must admit that I, too, have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, though I choose to worship in a way that blends His teachings with my worship of the Theoi. This is why my family has spaghetti for dinner every Sunday – a religious feast with tasty sauce! It’s why there’s pirate stuff in my lab! I embrace you as a Pastafarian sister!
CARBO DIEM!
Star, I must admit that I, too, have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, though I choose to worship in a way that blends His teachings with my worship of the Theoi. This is why my family has spaghetti for dinner every Sunday – a religious feast with tasty sauce! It’s why there’s pirate stuff in my lab! I embrace you as a Pastafarian sister!
CARBO DIEM!
I deny the flying Spahetti Monster and proclaim the great Oreo as the Supreme being. All Hail the awesomeness of the blessed Double Stuff..
I deny the flying Spahetti Monster and proclaim the great Oreo as the Supreme being. All Hail the awesomeness of the blessed Double Stuff..
very brave; most would not admit touching his noodle.
very brave; most would not admit touching his noodle.
That was a good one!
That was a good one!
Ramen. Welcome to the Plate, Sister! May your sauce be tomatoe-y with just a touch of oregano, and may your noodles never clump!
Ramen. Welcome to the Plate, Sister! May your sauce be tomatoe-y with just a touch of oregano, and may your noodles never clump!
The one great thing about being a pastafarian is you get to be with a bunch of saucy tomatoes.
The one great thing about being a pastafarian is you get to be with a bunch of saucy tomatoes.
Excellent
Excellent
And I was all ready to forward this post to my Christian friends.
Do it any way.
And I was all ready to forward this post to my Christian friends.
Do it any way.
Now I’m craving spaghetti…is it wrong to want to eat your Deity? lol
I guess not. Christians do it all the time
Now I’m craving spaghetti…is it wrong to want to eat your Deity? lol
I guess not. Christians do it all the time
bahahahaha! I have never seen your blog before, but this certainly has made me start reading. Thanks for the giggle.
bahahahaha! I have never seen your blog before, but this certainly has made me start reading. Thanks for the giggle.
I KNEW it….good one!
I KNEW it….good one!
ha ha…as I was reading, I suspected April Fool’s Day….good one!
ha ha…as I was reading, I suspected April Fool’s Day….good one!
That was too funny! I was picturing flying meatballs and you in a flowing dress! l.o.l.
That was too funny! I was picturing flying meatballs and you in a flowing dress! l.o.l.
*wishes to be touched by His Noodly Appendage*
*wishes to be touched by His Noodly Appendage*
good one star , forgetting what today was ……….you had me giong there , and beginning to lament loosing you , till i got to the end of this nonsense Kilm
good one star , forgetting what today was ……….you had me giong there , and beginning to lament loosing you , till i got to the end of this nonsense Kilm
I’m deeply touched and moved.
This wouldn’t have anything to do with your recent interview? Did you feel noodled by the host?
I’m deeply touched and moved.
This wouldn’t have anything to do with your recent interview? Did you feel noodled by the host?
OMG you had me going thanks for the heart attack!!!
OMG you had me going thanks for the heart attack!!!
Awesome.
Awesome.
I only love the meatballs.. LOL!!!!!!!!!!… Micha
I only love the meatballs.. LOL!!!!!!!!!!… Micha
Okay… now, that was just about the best April Fool’s I’ve seen yet today! Carbo Diem to you, too!
Okay… now, that was just about the best April Fool’s I’ve seen yet today! Carbo Diem to you, too!
This makes me smile. And Hungry! For spaghetti as well as knowledge.
This makes me smile. And Hungry! For spaghetti as well as knowledge.
But the Delicious Sauce if All Truth coats the al dente flesh of Ziti, the Pasata Who Will Save us!!! FSM is a poseur Pasta.
But the Delicious Sauce if All Truth coats the al dente flesh of Ziti, the Pasata Who Will Save us!!! FSM is a poseur Pasta.
Well done Star, Ya had me goin for asecond there even after I saw the first Flying Spaghetti Monster pic it still didn’t hit me. BTW I believe I may be a P.I.R.A.T.E. too….Rock on our Pagan sister, Rock and Happy April Fools to you too!
Well done Star, Ya had me goin for asecond there even after I saw the first Flying Spaghetti Monster pic it still didn’t hit me. BTW I believe I may be a P.I.R.A.T.E. too….Rock on our Pagan sister, Rock and Happy April Fools to you too!
Amen! Pasta forever, tomato sauce whenever. ; )
Amen! Pasta forever, tomato sauce whenever. ; )
My nose is killing me from all the Pepsi that went flying out when I read this… Good luck to you and his noodlyness! RAmen!
My nose is killing me from all the Pepsi that went flying out when I read this… Good luck to you and his noodlyness! RAmen!
OMGs, that’s awesome, Star! LMAO!
OMGs, that’s awesome, Star! LMAO!
Hahahah!
Hahahah!
OMG, this is too funny..
OMG, this is too funny..
Thank you for a belly laugh that shook the very core of my shiritaki noodles and meatless balls!! LOL…April fool’s indeed….
Thank you for a belly laugh that shook the very core of my shiritaki noodles and meatless balls!! LOL…April fool’s indeed….
That was just delicious! lol
That was just delicious! lol
OMG!!! Star, you are freaking amazing!
OMG!!! Star, you are freaking amazing!
A good laugh with this. I’ll have to pass it along to my students at Cherry Hill Seminary. Thanks!
A good laugh with this. I’ll have to pass it along to my students at Cherry Hill Seminary. Thanks!