Today (May 2nd) is International Pagan Coming Out Day. Having had a weekend of celebrating Beltane, I was thinking this morning about what being out as a Pagan means to me in light of that celebration.
You see, for Beltane we had a phenomenal ritual. Seriously, a knock-your-socks-off fabulous ritual. It’s not something I can write about though. Not because it’s oathbound but because it would sound very dull and disappointing on paper. I can’t convey that experience via the internet. It’s an impossible task.
Yet I think I can convey it face-to-face. I think I can describe that energy, that emotion and that transformative experience by voice, gesture and touch. I believe I can take that joy that I received from that rite and pass it on to another person who is in my physical presence.
I can’t really do that if I’m closeted. I can’t convey that experience to someone who isn’t aware of what the Pagan movement is if I’m closeted. I can only “preach to the choir’ and although there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s not enough.
It’s my hope that I can sit with the energy of this Beltane and make it part of my answer when people ask me about my religion. If there is anything I can share with someone about what it means to be Pagan, it is my goal that it conveys some small part of the joy, community, healing and love of the Beltane ritual I participated in this year.
I’ll admit I found the date for Pagan Coming Out Day confusing, but now I get it. As Saint John says, perfect love casteth out fear. Having just been filled to the brim with Perfect Love and Perfect Trust in action, I’m not only proud to tell anyone I’m Pagan today, but I’m happy to be able to share with them the joy, love and peace my path brings me.
May you make good choices in how you identify. May those of you who come out to any degree find acceptance and love. May those of you in the closet one day find the freedom to be more open. May all of us go forth with the love of the Gods always in our hearts.
Special thanks to my amazing family at Grove of the WillowWood and House of RavenStone for not only an amazing Beltane, but also for supporting me being an out, loud and proud Pagan. I quite literally could not do what I do here at Patheos without their love and support.
As an aside to this, I did discover a weird thing about being out is that I am less concerned when USAToday quotes me than when my elders quote me. Being out to the public isn’t nearly as scary as realizing the responsibility I bear towards the elders of my tradition. Being a religious open book to strangers is far, far easier and less nerve-wracking!
As an aside to this, I did discover a weird thing about being out is that I am less concerned when USAToday quotes me than when my elders quote me. Being out to the public isn’t nearly as scary as realizing the responsibility I bear towards the elders of my tradition. Being a religious open book to strangers is far, far easier and less nerve-wracking!
The blessings of the gods on those who choose to come out today! Good luck, guys.
The blessings of the gods on those who choose to come out today! Good luck, guys.
My father had queried about “the direction” I appear to be going in and had warned me that “it is dangerous”. I could of let it all out then, but couldn’t bring myself to it and just said that I was only doing the uh-huh *in a negative tone* (which started the query) because he was ‘preaching to the choir’ (It came out quickly and realized that it wasn’t really true, I was just so annoyed with everything out of his mouth being Jesus this and Jesus that), I mostly just didn’t know what to say to that. What do you say to that? (Still in the broom closet but likely coming out soon, just need to know how to counter concerns and accusations) So those with experience out there, I needs advice.
I wish I had good advice. It’s tough. I just chastised my niece for rudeness for suggesting that I, her elder, was wrong and going to burn in hell. I would have been spanked hard for suggesting such a thing to one of my aunts.
I personally think I would be so shocked that I would of asked, why she would think that (knowing the likely answer). Then would ask why she thought that it was , “evil” (likely or similar answer), and with what she would of responded with would be where I would answer some of the likely misguided assumptions. I can handle kids better than adult with these sorts of things. I think having been a parent and lifeguard for some years has made it so. Adults just make me want to either smack ‘em or cry when such offensive comments are directed to me. I now mostly just freeze until I can think of a reasonable response, surprisingly I don’t think I would of come up with the one mentioned above if an adult had directed the same comment to me.
My father had queried about “the direction” I appear to be going in and had warned me that “it is dangerous”. I could of let it all out then, but couldn’t bring myself to it and just said that I was only doing the uh-huh *in a negative tone* (which started the query) because he was ‘preaching to the choir’ (It came out quickly and realized that it wasn’t really true, I was just so annoyed with everything out of his mouth being Jesus this and Jesus that), I mostly just didn’t know what to say to that. What do you say to that? (Still in the broom closet but likely coming out soon, just need to know how to counter concerns and accusations) So those with experience out there, I needs advice.
I wish I had good advice. It’s tough. I just chastised my niece for rudeness for suggesting that I, her elder, was wrong and going to burn in hell. I would have been spanked hard for suggesting such a thing to one of my aunts.
I personally think I would be so shocked that I would of asked, why she would think that (knowing the likely answer). Then would ask why she thought that it was , “evil” (likely or similar answer), and with what she would of responded with would be where I would answer some of the likely misguided assumptions. I can handle kids better than adult with these sorts of things. I think having been a parent and lifeguard for some years has made it so. Adults just make me want to either smack ‘em or cry when such offensive comments are directed to me. I now mostly just freeze until I can think of a reasonable response, surprisingly I don’t think I would of come up with the one mentioned above if an adult had directed the same comment to me.
(This was a reply to Rua Lupa) I don’t know how old you are, but if you’ve dealt at all with parental concerns and accusations on any topic, you probably know what to do. Stay calm. Affirm to them that the values they have instilled in you are still present, just being expressed differently. Assure them you’re not doing anything illegal. Ask them to judge you on how you are living your life. Are you still honest, reliable, kind? Assure them the same person is present before and after the revelation of religious path.
To my own mother, who despaired that two of her three daughters had taken different religious paths, we had to tell her to be proud of what she taught us. She taught us to value religion so highly, that we could not abandon religion when we realized our childhood paths were not going to work for us. Instead we worked really hard to find religions that were right for us. We wouldn’t have done that if our parents hadn’t instilled in us the value of a religious life.
They’ll still be concerned, and may still try to “save your soul.” That’s ok. They have their path, too.
That is pretty much perfect. Thanks Phaedra. And many blessings.
(This was a reply to Rua Lupa) I don’t know how old you are, but if you’ve dealt at all with parental concerns and accusations on any topic, you probably know what to do. Stay calm. Affirm to them that the values they have instilled in you are still present, just being expressed differently. Assure them you’re not doing anything illegal. Ask them to judge you on how you are living your life. Are you still honest, reliable, kind? Assure them the same person is present before and after the revelation of religious path.
To my own mother, who despaired that two of her three daughters had taken different religious paths, we had to tell her to be proud of what she taught us. She taught us to value religion so highly, that we could not abandon religion when we realized our childhood paths were not going to work for us. Instead we worked really hard to find religions that were right for us. We wouldn’t have done that if our parents hadn’t instilled in us the value of a religious life.
They’ll still be concerned, and may still try to “save your soul.” That’s ok. They have their path, too.
That is pretty much perfect. Thanks Phaedra. And many blessings.