Sometimes I think marketing people are on crack. That’s the only explanation I could think of when I found myself faced with something so absurd that I actually had to buy it to bring home and blog about.

But first let me tell you a story…

Zeus and Hera threw a party for some newlyweds. They left their unpredictable daughter, Eris, off the guest list. You can imagine they thought that was a wise choice at the time. However, Eris crashed the party and threw a golden apple marked “for the fairest” among the guests. Athena, Hera and Aphrodite all claimed it, and you can imagine the argument between these mighty Goddesses boded ill for everyone. So Paris, being rather lovely himself and a good judge of bovine (WTH?!?!?!?), was asked to settle the question by Zeus. Paris declared Aphrodite the most beautiful, and in return she rewarded him with the most beautiful woman in the world to be his wife. Only Helen of Troy was already married.

This is how the Trojan War began. This is how not to celebrate love. This is how not to throw a nice dinner party. This is not fun, unless you’re a Discordian.

So imagine my surprise when looking for thos cinnamon red-hots in the too-early Valentines candy I spotted this:

Apparently Hershey doesn't google ideas before implementing them.

It’s part of their Valentines line. To give to your sweetheart, or as the image on their website suggests, to your teacher.

Yeah. Nothing can go wrong with this plan.

Since I didn’t have a camera in the store, I bought it to bring home. I’ve set it on my shelf. I occasionally look at it and cackle. What a marvellous Discordian trick!