Brave New Life: Part 4: An Overcast Summer

summer-field

This post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.The grapevine raged and the news was spreading fast. Random people who hadn’t been in touch over the last 7 years suddenly sent us long involved email lectures on how wrong we were, and how much they cared about us, and how could we do this to people who cared about us? At first we tried to respond to them, answering their questions, and explaining as best we could. But when it became clear that most of them had no actual interest in our experience, but just wanted to be a spokesperson for their idea of god, we got better at discerning which confrontations to engage with.We heard that Haley’s parents had told the … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Part 3: The Other Shoe Drops

sadmother

This post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.We’d been putting in applications for weeks and not having much luck. It wasn’t really surprising, after growing up the way I did, and then having 4 kids I had basically no resume, and Haley’s was entirely ministerial stuff and we couldn’t exactly list them as a reference. We were also in the middle of changing addresses on everything, and getting all of our other paperwork in order. I passed a local coffee shop and noticed a hiring sign in the window, so I printed out my sad little resume and dropped it off.Haley was restless and not getting any bites, we’d been talking about maybe getting her some short-term jo … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Part 2: Coming Out When You Expect The Worst

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This post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.We were in our new home, we were starting to un-pack. We even went to the library and got library cards. But it wasn’t time to relax yet, there was still one thing left to do. We had to come out. We had taken the baby steps, we had come out to ourselves and each other, that was huge, and then we had confided in a select few who we knew to be compassionate and supportive, but the next step was a whole different game.We knew our parents and most of the rest of our family and friends would not understand or be accepting, much less supportive. In fact, my mom had been asking for our new address, and I had tried to d … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Part 1: Into the Unknown

winter-sonne

This post is part of a series. Click here to read the introduction.Like I said in my coming out series, when at the end of 2011, we had realized that transition was going to happen, and that our beliefs were not really fitting in the church we were serving anymore, we knew we needed to move on.This wasn’t easy. We had moved everything we owned 1000 miles and over an international border to take the call to this church, with the intention of staying for some time. We’d had 2 more children for a total of 4. We loved the people we were serving, our kids had friends and we had a home in the parsonage. We had our favorite haunts, walking to the park near our house, attempting sledding wit … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Introduction

pommier-2

Once upon a time there were two girls. One was very sad most of the time, she kept her head down and did what she was told, because she could not imagine ever being strong enough to do anything different. She hardly knew what it meant to dream, to have goals and ambitions, because her life was already mapped out for her by others, she just had to follow the rules and be the person she was supposed to be.The other girl was very afraid, she had been told her whole life that she was a boy, but secretly she knew she was a girl; she also knew that she could never ever breathe a word about it to anyone, because being a girl born with a boy’s body was wrong and impossible in the world she lived … [Read more...]

Gender Transition: Two Years Later

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A guest post written by my wife HaleyLast week marked the two year anniversary of when I started hormone replacement therapy for transitioning my physical body to female. My transition didn’t start with hormones, due to challenges and an involved process to get access to hormones, many other transition milestones had already happened before that day.  I was already full time and out to the world as transgender in March 2012. I had changed my name legally the previous October.Yet these two years have gone by so quickly. When I started hormones, I was a beauty school student. Most of my former social circle had recently disappeared in the wake of having come out. I had moved to a brand … [Read more...]


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