The Rights of a Child: Part 2

After writing my rant last night, I’ve been thinking that this post may deserve more clarification. Several months ago, my mom was spouting off against the government and Child Protective Services in a phone conversation, saying that they should never have a right to "break up families" and I pointed out that while some families need to be separated, most of the time the family is just helped and educated, not split up. I recalled a certain time in our family when I feel that Child Protective Services would have been helpful. She acknowledged that there had been a problem, but maintained that she would have listened to a church member or neighbour if they had confronted her. I … [Read more...]

The Rights of a Child

The following is one of my few rants I’ve allowed myself on this blog. But don’t take my word for it, watch the fear-mongering preview yourself, and be sure to read the UN convention as well.Cue the scary music, flashy lighting, and sobbing parents... Michael Farris is at it again. Can you believe that our government doesn’t provide exclusive rights in the constitution for parents to control every single aspect of their child’s life? Even worse (Dun... Dun... Dun...) the USA might decide to sign the UN conventions rights of a child at any time, and then Christians probably won’t even be allowed to be parents anymore. (Never mind that every other country in the world has agreed to t … [Read more...]

Unraveling the Wizard

A while back I was talking to a sister on the phone and she related this story to me. She was hanging out at my parent’s house and Mom and our 14 year old sister had just come home from shopping. They were relating how the trip had gone well and our sister had found a nice bathing suit and then while they were in line the person behind them offered the use of a 20% off coupon that they were not intending to use. Then my Mom added that God had sent the coupon because our sister had “made the right choice” and picked a “modest” bathing suit. The sister relating this story to me could not understand why she had reacted so strongly to what my Mom said. She was instantly angry, almo … [Read more...]

Lies we tell ourselves about abuse

We want to think the best of people. We want to tell ourselves that we were loved and cared for. We want to be “normal” and “OK”. So we find ways to excuse what was done to us. We find ways to explain what happened. If we can avoid dealing with it, maybe we won’t hurt anymore. Here are some of the lies I was telling myself about my past.1. Abuse only happens when parents don’t love their kids.“My parents love me. So there is no way they could have been abusive. Right?”This is not true. People often do very harmful things with great intentions. Even if something was not meant to deliberately hurt you, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t damaging. Here is one simple example from my childhood of uninten … [Read more...]

A Mama’s Journey

I recently found an old list of “important goals” that I wanted to achieve in parenting. The list was titled Baby Boot Camp and it included weaning my kids off their pacifier and bottle, teaching them to come immediately when called, potty training my oldest, teaching them to stop whatever they were doing when I told them to, and training them to sit still through a church service.At the time I wrote this list, my children were aged two and one. About six months after I made that list, when I was 8 months pregnant with our third, tired and overwhelmed and struggling with depression again, I realized that I was an abusive parent.******************************It was the evening of a long day, m … [Read more...]

Gentle Parenting Tools: Mutual Respect

The following excerpts are taken from my favourite sourcebook for parenting to date. I cannot recommend “Discipline without Distress” highly enough. Judy Arnall addresses dilemma’s in parenting and then gives you the tools to deal with them. This book has had such an impact on me that I have already mentioned it on this blog twice before. I was desperate to find help for how to parent without spanking (which felt like such an impossible task for long months after I quit!) and this book is the one that I went on to purchase, and continue to re-read when I run into new questions or problems. I love that she does not dictate a formula for raising kids, and she does not aruge that there is only o … [Read more...]