Fear of School

The van pulls up in front of our house, and a mom and her son get out. They stop here every morning, to wait for the school bus. Usually this happens without incident, but this morning is different. The boy is hanging on his mom’s leg, and when she tries to walk back to the car he begins to cry. She crouches down and they talk for a little while, and she fishes out a tissue for him to wipe his tears. She gives him a hug as the bus pulls up to the corner, and for a moment it looks like he is going to get on after all, but then he pulls back and begins to cry again and the mom carries him back to the car instead. Watching this happen outside my window, I experienced my usual reaction. The l … [Read more...]

Submission and Prison Cells: Part 2

Click here for Part OneLet me start by saying a sincere “I am sorry” to “Yellowbunnys” (whoever she was, and wherever she is now) and to all the other women I shamed that day. I was wrong. I was arrogant. I was hurtful. It is painful for me to even read what I believed then, much less how I judged others and tried to force them to believe it too.At the time I wrote that, I was barely getting past Post-Partum Depression with my first baby, and was about to be hit with a second wave of it after the birth of my second. I struggled to fulfill my self-imposed idea of perfection, but believed that any and all of the seeming problems with the submission doctrines were my own fault. I was u … [Read more...]

Submission and Prison Cells: Part 1

Almost five years ago, I was a devout conservative Christian. I had been married over two years, had a toddler Ms Action running around and a baby Ms Drama due in a few months. I loved my spouse beyond what I had ever thought love was when we first got married, and I still dutifully tried to keep the house immaculate and dinner on the table by the time he walked in the door. I read lots of books on marriage and childrearing, and I gave some of them away too. I remember in particular giving away copies of “To Train up a Child” and “Be Fruitful and Multiply”. I did my best to live up to the ideas I found in the Bible, the Christian books and magazines I read, and the teachings I … [Read more...]

When You Are Everything You Were Taught to Hate

A first time guest post written by my partner and spouse, Haley.In the recent wake of North Carolina Amendment One to ban same-sex marriage; CNN had Tony Perkins the president of the Family Research Council, an evangelical think tank and political lobbyist group in Washington, D.C., on their show. The CNN host asked the 49-year-old father of five how he might handle one of his children being gay: “Well we would have a conversation about it,” answered the guest. “I doubt that would happen with my children as we are teaching them the right ways that they are to interact as human beings.”I’ve got very bad news for Tony Perkins. I grew up the right way. My parents honestly could have been the pos … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Pray Together or Stay Together

 “So you were a Christian when you married him, and now you’re not sure?” We were sitting outside our classroom, chatting during our break. My new friend had been asking me for marriage advice, and now things were going suddenly wrong. I shrugged off her accusatory tone and pressed on.“Yes” I replied, “It’s been hard, but it’s also been a growing experience. We’ve learned a lot about each other and about…” She interrupted me.“So you basically pretended to be a Christian for just long enough to get a good guy and then immediately gave up your faith?” I think I should have gotten angry, but instead I just felt sick. “Of course not! I would never have chosen to add so much pain to my life.” … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 8: Coming Out, Bit by Bit

 Found via Pinterest This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.It was getting harder and harder for my spouse to put on a masculine facade when we went out. At home, after all, he was able to just be himself. It was also starting to feel awkward referring to him as a “he.” The pronouns just didn’t fit anymore. Other people started to notice too. When we went down to visit family over the summer we had several different family members ask if my spouse was gay. Apparently being a feminine male-presenting person attracts attention.The summer of 2011 was significant in another way too. I had arranged to meet up with a friend that I had … [Read more...]