Gender Transition: Two Years Later

A guest post written by my wife HaleyLast week marked the two year anniversary of when I started hormone replacement therapy for transitioning my physical body to female. My transition didn’t start with hormones, due to challenges and an involved process to get access to hormones, many other transition milestones had already happened before that day.  I was already full time and out to the world as transgender in March 2012. I had changed my name legally the previous October.Yet these two years have gone by so quickly. When I started hormones, I was a beauty school student. Most of my former social circle had recently disappeared in the wake of having come out. I had moved to a brand … [Read more...]

Oblivious to Privilege:Part Two

Part Two of Haley's Guest Post...The experience of living in two genders and perceived to have different sexual orientations, has made me aware of privilege and how oblivious I once was to it. I don’t share my experiences as some guilt trip to people who possess privilege or to paint a picture that my life is really hard. My life is really great. I am living freely and openly. I wake up and I look forward to what the day will hold. Honestly, my life has never been better. However, reflecting on privilege and how my perceptions of it evolved as I evolved, can be illuminating. In fact while I've lost some privileges I've gained a new one. It is a privilege to grow in empathy and see so m … [Read more...]

Learning to Fall

I came across this excerpt recently and it moved me. It’s from Philip Simmon’s book called “Learning to Fall”, and it is written from his perspective as a 35 year old husband, father and teacher diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease which killed him a few years later.It’s the first time I have ever heard of “The Fall” as anything but this evil horrible disobedience of humanity that has led to all things that are wrong with the world. But it also speaks to me on a very basic level.I used to think that being a Christian gave me this magic out. If I just lived the “right” way, and did all the “right” things, then life would be peaceful and calm, perfect as god was perfect. Whenever lif … [Read more...]

A Church Where We Are More Than Just Queer

The first time we went to an accepting church, it was only curiosity and sheer will-power that got me there. I felt anxious at even the thought of going to a building of people gathered over belief in anything, and sitting through a service and chatting with people afterwards. I knew why I wanted to go. I had never been to visit an accepting congregation, and I knew they existed and I wanted to see proof. Also, our children had been used to attending church three times a week in the last few years, and I wanted our move to go as smoothly as possible for them, so we looked up an accepting church in our area and decided to go.*********************************************On the drive … [Read more...]

Weaning my Tandem Nursed Toddler

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning - Your Stories This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.My third baby is 32 months old, and she was weaned this last month. Sometimes I feel sad when I think about it, she has always been a super sweet little baby, and loves to snuggle. There was something special about her still being able to get instant comfort from her mama whenever her day was going badly. I nursed her all the way through my fourth pregnancy, and tandem nursed her and her brother for a year. … [Read more...]

The “Shoulds” of Motherhood

There is a reoccurring theme that I see in articles about motherhood that always makes me cringe. Many of them say something to this effect:Motherhood is the most fulfilling, enthralling, special, exciting, wonderful thing you will ever do. Sacrifice everything about you, because nothing is as important as bringing up your children. Be an example of a mother who loves her kids in a world of people who see children as irrelevant worthless inconveniences. I used to believe this line of reasoning. In many ways its true. Being a parent will change your world and sometimes it is enthralling and fulfilling, even exciting. But sometimes it’s not. And when it wasn’t, I felt incredibly ashamed. Over t … [Read more...]