On Being Evangelized

jesus-loves-you

I can usually spot them when they come in. The "superchristians". The excessively patronizing men make the order while the women stand quietly in their long skirts behind them. The group of middle aged women who come in for their bible study, order each of their drinks individually, and never ever tip.Or the conservatively fashionable woman who takes forever to make up her mind what she wants, and then when she decides on an herbal tea for it’s health benefits, she plucks up her courage and shakily makes her evangelistic comment about how amazing it is that god has made tea.One time I spotted a middle aged couple sitting rigidly next to each other across from their long-haired  adult … [Read more...]

Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner?

I’ve said before that I don't like this phrase. I think hate is a really strong word, and it is hard to hate one aspect of someone without it bleeding into the way you treat that person. Hate (to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; to detest, despise or loathe) and Love (a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. fondness, predilection, warmth) are antonyms, I simply cannot see how they can be in the same sentence together, or refer to the same person. There some beliefs and some deeds that I truly do hate. I feel that they cause major damage, harm real people, and disregard humanity. However, I have p … [Read more...]

A Church Where We Are More Than Just Queer

The first time we went to an accepting church, it was only curiosity and sheer will-power that got me there. I felt anxious at even the thought of going to a building of people gathered over belief in anything, and sitting through a service and chatting with people afterwards. I knew why I wanted to go. I had never been to visit an accepting congregation, and I knew they existed and I wanted to see proof. Also, our children had been used to attending church three times a week in the last few years, and I wanted our move to go as smoothly as possible for them, so we looked up an accepting church in our area and decided to go.*********************************************On the drive … [Read more...]

Christianity and the LGBTQ Community

Since the publication of our coming out series, I have received many many emails and comments. They have ranged from people with similar experiences, to people who affirm LGBTQ persons and consider themselves allies, to people who cannot reconcile their faith with LGBTQ persons but are still accepting and compassionate. The other day I got my first email in a while that was judgmental and presumptive. She said things like how I am rejecting god’s truth, and taking the easy path of the world, speculated about why I stayed in my marriage, discredited every question I had ever asked about faith in my writing because she now knows the whole story and therefore knows what I was truly thinking and … [Read more...]

God is scarier than the boogeyman

I do not talk about my God questions with my children. I do not talk about my God questions in front of my children. We read them books of all kinds, they went to Vacation bible school and go to Sunday school every week and each Christmas we read them the Christmas story. I do not try to bias my kids against God.So I was surprised a few months back when my oldest came up to me with her children’s illustrated bible and told me to give it away to someone else. I asked her why she wanted to give it away, and she told me that she “didn’t like that book because of the sad story where Jesus was killed by the mean people who gave him pokey owies” and she flipped to the story of the crucifixion to sh … [Read more...]

Babies, Duggars and Me

The command to be fruitful and multiply was mentioned frequently in our marriage ceremony and reception. But it didn’t really need to be, we both knew what we believed. One of the questions we had discussed during our courtship was our commitment to never use birth control.Read any Quiverfull publication, and you will see a heavy emphasis on how children are “blessings”. The Above Rubies magazine is filled with stories of giving up birth control and the subsequent blessing showered on families who choose to leave their fertility to God. The magazine has even run several stories where “the mother’s life was saved” against all odds by yet one more risky pregnancy. This mentality is against … [Read more...]


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