Brave New Life: Part 2: Coming Out When You Expect The Worst

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This post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.We were in our new home, we were starting to un-pack. We even went to the library and got library cards. But it wasn’t time to relax yet, there was still one thing left to do. We had to come out. We had taken the baby steps, we had come out to ourselves and each other, that was huge, and then we had confided in a select few who we knew to be compassionate and supportive, but the next step was a whole different game.We knew our parents and most of the rest of our family and friends would not understand or be accepting, much less supportive. In fact, my mom had been asking for our new address, and I had tried to d … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Part 1: Into the Unknown

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This post is part of a series. Click here to read the introduction.Like I said in my coming out series, when at the end of 2011, we had realized that transition was going to happen, and that our beliefs were not really fitting in the church we were serving anymore, we knew we needed to move on.This wasn’t easy. We had moved everything we owned 1000 miles and over an international border to take the call to this church, with the intention of staying for some time. We’d had 2 more children for a total of 4. We loved the people we were serving, our kids had friends and we had a home in the parsonage. We had our favorite haunts, walking to the park near our house, attempting sledding wit … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Introduction

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Once upon a time there were two girls. One was very sad most of the time, she kept her head down and did what she was told, because she could not imagine ever being strong enough to do anything different. She hardly knew what it meant to dream, to have goals and ambitions, because her life was already mapped out for her by others, she just had to follow the rules and be the person she was supposed to be.The other girl was very afraid, she had been told her whole life that she was a boy, but secretly she knew she was a girl; she also knew that she could never ever breathe a word about it to anyone, because being a girl born with a boy’s body was wrong and impossible in the world she lived … [Read more...]

Gender Transition: Two Years Later

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A guest post written by my wife HaleyLast week marked the two year anniversary of when I started hormone replacement therapy for transitioning my physical body to female. My transition didn’t start with hormones, due to challenges and an involved process to get access to hormones, many other transition milestones had already happened before that day.  I was already full time and out to the world as transgender in March 2012. I had changed my name legally the previous October.Yet these two years have gone by so quickly. When I started hormones, I was a beauty school student. Most of my former social circle had recently disappeared in the wake of having come out. I had moved to a brand … [Read more...]

You are You (And that’s Beautiful)

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We had just moved to a new state, and a new city. Haley had been officially living as herself and presenting as female full-time for only a few days. We made the chilly trek with the kids out to the store to pick out cell phones and sign up for a plan.The person helping us was polite and sweet. He had long dark hair and a delicate face, after we clarified who was Melissa and who was Haley, he put out his hand and said brightly “So nice to meet you! My name is..” and then stuttered and seemed to glance down at the nametag attached to his shirt, finishing quietly “… John.”  We got our phones, and left the shop, but both Haley and I had noticed the weird slip around the name, and wondered if … [Read more...]

Guest Post at Homeschooler’s Anonymous

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 So it's been over two months since my last post, and I hope to write about what has been going on lately soon. In the meantime, I have dipped my toes back into the writing world by writing a piece for Homeschoolers Anonymous.They are having a homeschooled LGBTQ week, so be sure to check out the stories of other people who grew up homeschooled and queer, or grew up opposing gay rights and later became allies. If you read the posts prior to this week, Homeschoolers Anonymous is giving a voice to people who grew up homeschooled and have something to say about it. Some of the stories are heartbreaking, others are inspiring, but all need to be told, and all need to be heard.Here … [Read more...]


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