Brave New Life: Part 2: Coming Out When You Expect The Worst

33-12128698406Ll2

This post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.We were in our new home, we were starting to un-pack. We even went to the library and got library cards. But it wasn’t time to relax yet, there was still one thing left to do. We had to come out. We had taken the baby steps, we had come out to ourselves and each other, that was huge, and then we had confided in a select few who we knew to be compassionate and supportive, but the next step was a whole different game.We knew our parents and most of the rest of our family and friends would not understand or be accepting, much less supportive. In fact, my mom had been asking for our new address, and I had tried to d … [Read more...]

Motherhood: Same and Different

OldDesignShop_Feb1914GirlScrapbooking

She is seven this month. My heart aches when I think about it. The baby that made me a mother. The first labor, hours of breathing and focusing and stretching until she barreled out of me and peacefully looked into my eyes without even crying.In many ways, I felt so sure of myself then. I had this routine down. I had been changing diapers and doing laundry and bathing babies for as long as I could remember. I nursed her, took her to the grocery store with me, rocked her and sang to her.And I made her sleep by herself in her crib, let her cry herself to sleep, and smacked her hand or her leg when she didn’t listen. It hurts to remember that.She is seven now. Who I am as a person a … [Read more...]

You are You (And that’s Beautiful)

images

We had just moved to a new state, and a new city. Haley had been officially living as herself and presenting as female full-time for only a few days. We made the chilly trek with the kids out to the store to pick out cell phones and sign up for a plan.The person helping us was polite and sweet. He had long dark hair and a delicate face, after we clarified who was Melissa and who was Haley, he put out his hand and said brightly “So nice to meet you! My name is..” and then stuttered and seemed to glance down at the nametag attached to his shirt, finishing quietly “… John.”  We got our phones, and left the shop, but both Haley and I had noticed the weird slip around the name, and wondered if … [Read more...]

Life and Choice: Why Abortion Isn’t What I Thought It Was

art-mother-and-child-helen-hyde-241x300

I wrote this a while ago, and have been trying to pull together the time and energy to post it. Abortion is a very touchy topic, so let me just say here, I am not trying to tell anyone what to think about this issue. Also, I have never had an abortion myself, so I am not claiming to know what that experience entails. When I first started seeing links for the Gosnell trial, my first reaction was disgust and anger that this sort of mistreatment was going on for so long without any intervention. The second was surprise that this trial had been in progress for almost a month and I hadn’t heard a peep about it.Now granted, I don’t watch the news; I have enough stuff to worry about in my life … [Read more...]

‘Tis the Season

800px-Holly_berries_in_snow

It’s below zero outside. Even though I can feel the cold seeping through the walls, the house feels cozy.  I try to organize my thoughts enough to write, and end up making spaghetti for the kids instead while snitching bites of leftover homemade brownies in the corner cabinet. The tree in the corner is re-decorated by the kids almost every day, Mr Punk likes to crawl behind it and unplug the lights. Each child has a pair of boots and coat and snowpants that fit them, we have mittens and hats to go around too. That is a good feeling. It’s dark when I walk to work in the morning. Sometimes I trip because I am looking up at the moon and stars while I crunch through th … [Read more...]

Yes I buy ice cream with my food stamps.

531754_384906591563512_199317244_n

When we were on the brink of transition, and facing the prospect of losing our income and home, we spent a lot of time crunching numbers. How much money would we need to survive for 3 months with no income? How about 6 months? We added up the costs for rent, insurance gas and upkeep for our 13 year old van, utilities, our life insurance policies, and diapers. And one of the costs I always included in my calculations was food.It never even occurred to me to get food stamps. That was something “lazy” people got, who “didn’t work” and “lived off the government”.  Even when times were tight in the past, we put food expenses on our credit card, never even considering that we might qualify for … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X