Christianity and the LGBTQ Community

Since the publication of our coming out series, I have received many many emails and comments. They have ranged from people with similar experiences, to people who affirm LGBTQ persons and consider themselves allies, to people who cannot reconcile their faith with LGBTQ persons but are still accepting and compassionate. The other day I got my first email in a while that was judgmental and presumptive. She said things like how I am rejecting god’s truth, and taking the easy path of the world, speculated about why I stayed in my marriage, discredited every question I had ever asked about faith in my writing because she now knows the whole story and therefore knows what I was truly thinking and … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 6: Talk of Transition

This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.Even though we had hoped that it would be enough for my spouse to simply be more authentic to his feminine self, it seemed that the idea of transition was coming up more and more. My spouse talked about how frustrating it was to have this battle raging in his head every single day, his brain telling him again and again that he was really a woman. He told me how the idea of becoming an old man terrified him. It was bad enough being trapped in the body of a young man, but to be old and helpless and cared for by people who would treat him as a guy was dreadful to him. Sometimes he cried, all of … [Read more...]

But now I WANT to be here

There was a dark corner in the living room where the dark heavy book case was. I used to squeeze myself between the bookcase and the wall. Here, curled up in the dark, I dreamed of running away. Sometimes I wished I never had to come out of my little corner, maybe if I squeezed myself small enough, I could disappear, just evaporate into the darkness somehow. Either way, I was sure no one would miss me. They might not even notice I was gone, except when they started to fall behind in housework.I thought about death so much that I didn’t realize that wasn’t normal. Didn’t everyone wish they had never been born? Didn’t everyone think that the world would be a better place if they didn’t exi … [Read more...]

“Real” Faith

I’ve been told more than once now, that my current lack of belief/ faith indicates that I never really believed in the first place. This baffles me. What about my life before agnosticism illustrates non-belief? Is it the skirts I wore? Or the way I obeyed my parents and sought to please them? Do the worn out binding and highlighted pages of my Old King James Bible I received when I was eight years old reveal my lack of faith? Is it all the bible verses and hymns that I have memorized and stored in my head to this day? Is it how I filled my journals with prayers for redemption and anointing of the holy spirit, how I wrote about my sins and begged for forgiveness? Or maybe the prayer journal I … [Read more...]

Everyday is Forever

Smoke had filled the kitchen before I figured out where it was coming from. I had thrown the oven mitt on top of the stove, and then accidentally turned on the burner underneath it instead of the burner under the pot on the back of the stove. The hot electric rings had burned themselves into the non-flammable mitt, and the blackened edges of the material glowed. I turned on the fan over the stove and tossed the smouldering mitt out the back door and went on with the day. About half an hour later I peeked at the mitt and found that it had continued to burn, right down through the non-flammable layers and into our wooden deck. I filled an old ice cream bucket with water and doused the whole … [Read more...]

Snow, Peace, and Giving Thanks

Even though we live in Canada right now, we have still enjoyed taking some time off and celebrating American Thanksgiving each year we've been here. This year my Hunnie made the Turkey and mashed potatoes and I made the Apple Crumble Pie and Pumpkin Pie. Everything was delicious and I think we have enough leftovers to make through the weekend! The days at our house have been peaceful and simple lately. Finding and making new recipes, picking up toys and washing dishes, reading books and watching movies. We had our first snow of the year, and everyone trooped outside to "help" shovel. Time goes by so quickly, it seems only yesterday that we had these outside our door..And … [Read more...]