Saturday Evening Post #16

Every month Elizabeth Esther invites us to share the latest and greatest from our blogs.I always have a hard time picking what to share, but I decided on my "What God Wants" post, called Unraveling the Wizard.I like it because I talk about one of the ways I've learned to not be afraid when people from my past are insisting they know how God wants me to live my life. I used  to let that fear control me, so I was definetely in need of some healthy tools!Head over to Elizabeth's blog to discover other blogs, and maybe share your own. … [Read more...]

Unraveling the Wizard

A while back I was talking to a sister on the phone and she related this story to me. She was hanging out at my parent’s house and Mom and our 14 year old sister had just come home from shopping. They were relating how the trip had gone well and our sister had found a nice bathing suit and then while they were in line the person behind them offered the use of a 20% off coupon that they were not intending to use. Then my Mom added that God had sent the coupon because our sister had “made the right choice” and picked a “modest” bathing suit. The sister relating this story to me could not understand why she had reacted so strongly to what my Mom said. She was instantly angry, almo … [Read more...]

Lies we tell ourselves about abuse

We want to think the best of people. We want to tell ourselves that we were loved and cared for. We want to be “normal” and “OK”. So we find ways to excuse what was done to us. We find ways to explain what happened. If we can avoid dealing with it, maybe we won’t hurt anymore. Here are some of the lies I was telling myself about my past.1. Abuse only happens when parents don’t love their kids.“My parents love me. So there is no way they could have been abusive. Right?”This is not true. People often do very harmful things with great intentions. Even if something was not meant to deliberately hurt you, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t damaging. Here is one simple example from my childhood of uninten … [Read more...]

Dreams and Memories

I have a small treasure box. I bought myself while on a trip with my grandparents. Besides my journals and my teddy bear, it holds pretty much everything I considered special to me from childhood. Some of it is just memories. I have the collar from the dog I loved. And a feather from one of the chickens we had on the farmette we lived on for 2 years. I loved living there, that was when we still went to church, participated in a homeschool co-op, and I was free to be a kid.I have the memory cards from both of my grandpa's funerals. And a shell from one of the bullets fired in the twenty-one gun salute at my the funeral of my grandpa who was in the Korean war.But some of it has d … [Read more...]

The Fun Mom

I can cook for 20 people without breaking a sweat. I can do 6 loads of laundry in one day. I can bathe 4 children at the same time. I can change a mean diaper. I'm good at managing the controlled chaos that is parenting, after all I’ve been doing this sort of thing for most of my life. Keeping the physical needs of our household met is pretty basic. Not that our house in immaculate (far from it) or I feel 100% confident in my abilities as a housekeeper (still working on that), but keeping the house running doesn’t scare me.Babies don’t scare me either. I can nurse a baby, rock them and sing to them, snuggle them and bathe them, and wake up in the middle of the night with them. I know that Bab … [Read more...]

Are you Happy?

“Are you happy mom?” says my four year old. She’s been asking me this question almost every day lately, and it scares me. It’s not that I’m super unhappy. The weather has been beautiful. I’ve been reading poetry with my girls, and baking cookies and muffins together. We went to the zoo yesterday, and had so much fun looking at all the brand new spring baby animals everywhere. But since the birth of Baby Boy, I’ve been a bit more anxious then usual. I’ve had too many nights where I struggle to fall asleep even though I am desperately tired. And too many days where I have a hard time coming up with a reason to take care of myself. I’ve smiled. I’ve fed my children all their meals and snacks. I’ … [Read more...]