Re-Post: I’m Not Afraid Anymore

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This post was originally published November 2010. I had spent years trying to put on a good face, hide any issues I might have because it could be a "bad witness" to the redemption of Christ. This was one of the first times I talked openly about depression, and shortly after that got into counseling for the first time. 2011 ended up being a huge year of growth for me. I struggle with depression.There are several dark years in my Teens. Years where I didn’t want to get up out of bed, where I had a hard time smiling, where I thought about suicide and planned how I could end my pain forever. At some point, I discovered several food sensitivities as well as low thyroid and was able to ma … [Read more...]

Butch, Femme, Style, and Developing a Sense of Self

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 I remember climbing up the fence to scramble onto the roof, sometimes holding the hem of my skirt between my teeth while I climbed helped to keep it out of the way. I remember sitting in the apple tree reading my book, and how I jumped down and a branch hooked onto the hem and ripped a 2 foot gash in my skirt. My younger brother had a pair of combat boots that I would wear sometimes, just around the house or yard, they were awesome. I went on a trip with my grandparents, part of what made it so awesome was that I got to wear jeans and boots for hiking pretty much every day.Style and sense of self weren’t so much a discovery in my childhood. What we could or could not wear was s … [Read more...]

Guest Post at Homeschooler’s Anonymous

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 So it's been over two months since my last post, and I hope to write about what has been going on lately soon. In the meantime, I have dipped my toes back into the writing world by writing a piece for Homeschoolers Anonymous.They are having a homeschooled LGBTQ week, so be sure to check out the stories of other people who grew up homeschooled and queer, or grew up opposing gay rights and later became allies. If you read the posts prior to this week, Homeschoolers Anonymous is giving a voice to people who grew up homeschooled and have something to say about it. Some of the stories are heartbreaking, others are inspiring, but all need to be told, and all need to be heard.Here … [Read more...]

Who I am

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Who am I? It’s a question that I started asking in earnest only a short time ago, and it seems like an endless process. It started with trying to figure out where I felt the most like me, the most at peace, the most beautiful. Little pieces came together slowly, separating who I am from who I was told to be. Some pieces were rather easy. I knew that I loved to read good books, that I love to write, that I enjoy messing around in the kitchen. But other peices felt mysterious to me, like looking in the mirror at a stranger.Who was that person? For a long time, I believed that question was wrong. That it didn’t matter who I was, it mattered who God was, and my only purpose in lifewas to se … [Read more...]

5 things I like about being a mom who works part-time

So, I have my first job outside the home since I got married. I actually saw the notice in the window, put together my pathetic resume (for what felt like the five hundreth time) and printed it at the library and turned it in all by myself. Then I went in for the interview wearing uncomfortable slacks that are at least 10 years old, and answered questions about myself. (Thankfully, I can wear whatever I want for this job as long as I have sleeves and close-toed shoes, so I went back to my trusty old jeans instead.) I was still surprised when she hired me. But excited. And relieved.The work is mostly baking and cooking which I am good at, and confident in, and it is only a few blocks from my … [Read more...]

Changes…

So. We are moving. I meant to post that on my blog a while ago, but I couldn’t come up with a clever post to break the news, and then I found myself so busy and distracted with the logistics of moving, that I forgot to get back to it. So here it is. We are moving. We are leaving Canada and moving back into the USA. We are also leaving ministry, for a variety of complex reasons that I may get to expound on later. The next few months are going to be wild. In the next few weeks we are packing up, crossing international lines and heading to a new city where we have never lived before to rent a place on our own and hopefully land some jobs. It’s exciting. It’s exhausting. It’s scary. The changes a … [Read more...]


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