Brave New Life: Part 2: Coming Out When You Expect The Worst

This post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction. We were in our new home, we were starting to un-pack. We even went to the library and got library cards. But it wasn’t time to relax yet, there was still one thing left to do. We had to come out. We had taken the baby steps, we had come out to ourselves and each other, that was huge, and then we had confided in a… Read more

Brave New Life: Part 1: Into the Unknown

This post is part of a series. Click here to read the introduction. Like I said in my coming out series, when at the end of 2011, we had realized that transition was going to happen, and that our beliefs were not really fitting in the church we were serving anymore, we knew we needed to move on. This wasn’t easy. We had moved everything we owned 1000 miles and over an international border to take the call to this… Read more

Brave New Life: Introduction

Once upon a time there were two girls. One was very sad most of the time, she kept her head down and did what she was told, because she could not imagine ever being strong enough to do anything different. She hardly knew what it meant to dream, to have goals and ambitions, because her life was already mapped out for her by others, she just had to follow the rules and be the person she was supposed to be…. Read more

Gender Transition: Two Years Later

A guest post written by my wife Haley Last week marked the two year anniversary of when I started hormone replacement therapy for transitioning my physical body to female. My transition didn’t start with hormones, due to challenges and an involved process to get access to hormones, many other transition milestones had already happened before that day.  I was already full time and out to the world as transgender in March 2012. I had changed my name legally the previous… Read more

No Blurred Lines

We were picking up toys in the living room, and the radio switched to Robin Thicke’s song “blurred lines.” After a minute I walked over and changed the station, MS Action stopped her be-bopping and asked “Why’d you turn off that song mom? It’s good for dancing.” I thought about it, “It is a good beat for dancing isn’t it, I just don’t really like the words in that song.” “Oh, why don’t you like the words mom?” My 7… Read more

Motherhood: Same and Different

She is seven this month. My heart aches when I think about it. The baby that made me a mother. The first labor, hours of breathing and focusing and stretching until she barreled out of me and peacefully looked into my eyes without even crying. In many ways, I felt so sure of myself then. I had this routine down. I had been changing diapers and doing laundry and bathing babies for as long as I could remember. I nursed… Read more

You are You (And that’s Beautiful)

We had just moved to a new state, and a new city. Haley had been officially living as herself and presenting as female full-time for only a few days. We made the chilly trek with the kids out to the store to pick out cell phones and sign up for a plan. The person helping us was polite and sweet. He had long dark hair and a delicate face, after we clarified who was Melissa and who was Haley, he… Read more

Life and Choice: Why Abortion Isn’t What I Thought It Was

I wrote this a while ago, and have been trying to pull together the time and energy to post it. Abortion is a very touchy topic, so let me just say here, I am not trying to tell anyone what to think about this issue. Also, I have never had an abortion myself, so I am not claiming to know what that experience entails. When I first started seeing links for the Gosnell trial, my first reaction was disgust and… Read more

‘Tis the Season

It’s below zero outside. Even though I can feel the cold seeping through the walls, the house feels cozy.  I try to organize my thoughts enough to write, and end up making spaghetti for the kids instead while snitching bites of leftover homemade brownies in the corner cabinet.   The tree in the corner is re-decorated by the kids almost every day, Mr Punk likes to crawl behind it and unplug the lights. Each child has a pair of boots… Read more

Jessa Duggar’s Happily Ever After

So Jessa Duggar is officially courting and seeing the headlines on news sites and the links people were sharing made me feel nauseous. Reading the articles where they are portrayed as a young couple making a quaint and cute (albeit different) choice when it comes to romance. And then reading the comments where clueless person after clueless person gushes admiration for the “values” and praises them for being “role models.” My heart rate goes up. I close my laptop. I… Read more


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