What I Understand

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In my last re-post I talked about how I am not my parents. This stemmed from being told again and again (whenever I disagreed with my parents stance on something) that when I was older, when I was a parent, when I was a parent of many...I would magically understand why my parents did what they did.The implication being that I would agree with and condone what they did as well.The breakthrough I talked about in that post, was stating that I will never "understand" or feel that abuse was justified, and I stand by that statement. But some of what they are saying is true. I have begun to understand some things.I have four children, I work on my feet forty hours a week, my wife … [Read more...]

Children of an Atheist talk about God

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So the Atheist channel at Patheos has been chatting about whether or not atheist parents should teach their children about religion, and whether or not atheist parents should raise their children to be atheists. The discussion appears to have started over at Natural Wonderers, picked up by On the Margin of Error and continued by Love, Joy, Feminism and  Camels with Hammers.I've thought quite a bit about this topic having been raised to be conservative christian, and leaving that mentality as an adult. I feel scarred by religion in many ways, and that makes me feel the urge to "protect" my children from it. On the other hand, I remember the scorn and disgust and fear that permeated co … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Part 4: An Overcast Summer

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This post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.The grapevine raged and the news was spreading fast. Random people who hadn’t been in touch over the last 7 years suddenly sent us long involved email lectures on how wrong we were, and how much they cared about us, and how could we do this to people who cared about us? At first we tried to respond to them, answering their questions, and explaining as best we could. But when it became clear that most of them had no actual interest in our experience, but just wanted to be a spokesperson for their idea of god, we got better at discerning which confrontations to engage with.We heard that Haley’s parents had told the … [Read more...]

No Blurred Lines

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We were picking up toys in the living room, and the radio switched to Robin Thicke’s song “blurred lines.” After a minute I walked over and changed the station, MS Action stopped her be-bopping and asked “Why’d you turn off that song mom? It’s good for dancing.”I thought about it, “It is a good beat for dancing isn’t it, I just don’t really like the words in that song.”“Oh, why don’t you like the words mom?” My 7 year old persisted.“Well, he sings about doing stuff to people that they don’t want him to do, and… he thinks it’s OK.”  I tried to explain.“That’s not OK!” piped up 5 year old MS Drama.” “You shouldn’t do things to people that they don’t want you to do."“Definite … [Read more...]

Motherhood: Same and Different

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She is seven this month. My heart aches when I think about it. The baby that made me a mother. The first labor, hours of breathing and focusing and stretching until she barreled out of me and peacefully looked into my eyes without even crying.In many ways, I felt so sure of myself then. I had this routine down. I had been changing diapers and doing laundry and bathing babies for as long as I could remember. I nursed her, took her to the grocery store with me, rocked her and sang to her.And I made her sleep by herself in her crib, let her cry herself to sleep, and smacked her hand or her leg when she didn’t listen. It hurts to remember that.She is seven now. Who I am as a person a … [Read more...]

Happenings

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Every once in a while when I get a bunch of small posts that aren't really big enough to be a post of their own, I do a hodge-podge post. So here's the latest. On the drive home from dropping people off in the morning. Ms Drama: Mom do you looove the hair on your chin?Me: Um, I don’t know? (What a weird question!)Ms Drama: You know, because it helps you win when you play video games. This is what comes of saying things like “I barely squeaked by there! Won by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!”  **************************************** So I was at work doing dishes and my co-worker was on break. So I decided to call Haley and chat while … [Read more...]


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