Gentle Parenting Tools: Communicate

I’ve talked about mutual respect, and recognizing emotions, and the importance of caring for yourself as a parent and here I want to talk about communication. When I was in the punitive parentingmindset, it was my understanding that you did not communicate with your kids. Kids were selfish and manipulative, only out to get whatever they wanted. No, you did not communicate, you dictate. As in, you tell them what to do, and you make them do it, regardless of what they are feeling or thinking. The child needs to learn that their opinion does not matter, they just need to obey. As I switched from punitive to gentle parenting, I started making an effort to recognize my children’s emotions, and I … [Read more...]

Weaning my Tandem Nursed Toddler

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning - Your Stories This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.My third baby is 32 months old, and she was weaned this last month. Sometimes I feel sad when I think about it, she has always been a super sweet little baby, and loves to snuggle. There was something special about her still being able to get instant comfort from her mama whenever her day was going badly. I nursed her all the way through my fourth pregnancy, and tandem nursed her and her brother for a year. … [Read more...]

Gentle Parenting Tools: Apology

Early last year we got home after a church service, I was huge and pregnant, and tired, and feeling fried after so much religious talk. The kids were whining, and 4 year old Ms Action and 3 year old Ms Drama started fighting about something. I yelled over my shoulder at them to stop it as I waddled into the bathroom to pee. The fight continued, and as I came out of the bathroom I saw Ms Drama slap her sister. Old instincts kicked in on top of frustration, and without thinking I grabbed her arm and smacked her hand saying “don’t hit your sister!”.Her mouth dropped open in shock and she screamed. I doubt she cognitively remembers being spanked, so it may be the first time in her memory that … [Read more...]

Turn a bad day around

When it is one of those days, where nothing I planned to do ever happened, and kids were needy or the house was messy, or sleep was lacking the night before, it is so tempting for me to just throw in the towel. My perfectionism kicks in and I give up. I tell myself the day is going so badly, why even try? Nothing I do is going to make a difference.This mentality has usually led to me contributing to the problem, as if I want to make sure the day that was going badly, ends badly. It’s like I’m driving along a road, in a hurry to get where I need to be, and I pass a sign that says “Dead End” and I shrug and say, that can’t be right, and keep going. Then I see another sign “Warning: Cliff Ah … [Read more...]