A New Year

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 2013.  I’m not used to it yet. The year sounds silly in my mind, and I find myself writing 2012 on everything still. As we decorated for the holiday season,  I found myself remembering the last time I saw these decorations just one year ago.  How we got wind of the rumors that had started and the actions being taken, and we wondered how long we would have to leave. Would we be booted from the parsonage within days or weeks? How long would this process take? The uncertainty and tension, the awkward church services, Haley going to intense meetings where she was officially informed of the churches disapproval of her existence, the exhaustion.  Packing some of what we owned, and givin … [Read more...]

What can I even say?

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 I was in the middle of trying to get a couple posts together. Mr Punk was making it very difficult by climbing all over me. I eventually gave up and turned the computer off and did come housecleaning instead. When he went down for his nap I turned it back on, and all thoughts of writing vanished from my head as I read the first headline, and I am still struggling to pick up my writing where I left off. Another shooting. In what is supposed to be a safe place. An elementary school.How many children dead? How many more traumatized?I cried. I counted the minutes until it was time to pick up my 5 year old from the bus stop. I wanted to crawl under the blankets. I wanted to move … [Read more...]

A Church Where We Are More Than Just Queer

The first time we went to an accepting church, it was only curiosity and sheer will-power that got me there. I felt anxious at even the thought of going to a building of people gathered over belief in anything, and sitting through a service and chatting with people afterwards. I knew why I wanted to go. I had never been to visit an accepting congregation, and I knew they existed and I wanted to see proof. Also, our children had been used to attending church three times a week in the last few years, and I wanted our move to go as smoothly as possible for them, so we looked up an accepting church in our area and decided to go.*********************************************On the drive … [Read more...]

Christianity and the LGBTQ Community

Since the publication of our coming out series, I have received many many emails and comments. They have ranged from people with similar experiences, to people who affirm LGBTQ persons and consider themselves allies, to people who cannot reconcile their faith with LGBTQ persons but are still accepting and compassionate. The other day I got my first email in a while that was judgmental and presumptive. She said things like how I am rejecting god’s truth, and taking the easy path of the world, speculated about why I stayed in my marriage, discredited every question I had ever asked about faith in my writing because she now knows the whole story and therefore knows what I was truly thinking and … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 8: Coming Out, Bit by Bit

 Found via Pinterest This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.It was getting harder and harder for my spouse to put on a masculine facade when we went out. At home, after all, he was able to just be himself. It was also starting to feel awkward referring to him as a “he.” The pronouns just didn’t fit anymore. Other people started to notice too. When we went down to visit family over the summer we had several different family members ask if my spouse was gay. Apparently being a feminine male-presenting person attracts attention.The summer of 2011 was significant in another way too. I had arranged to meet up with a friend that I had … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 1: A Secret Revealed

This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.As many of you know, my spouse and I got married young after a short parent-supervised courtship. We began our marriage “the right way” according to everything we believed. We had obeyed our parents and stayed pure from emotional relationships or sexual activity, so when we got married neither of us had ever been intimate with any other person. We were wholeheartedly committed to our Christian beliefs at that time, feeling certain that birth control was wrong in almost any circumstance and that men should be the family leaders and women should be submissive. My husband was in seminary to … [Read more...]


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