The Fistfight Fallacy: rape culture’s ahistorical premise

Stick figure of a caveman, from wikimedia commons.

Trigger warning: I’m fighting back against a rape apologist’s claim, and some of this material may be triggering. Inevitably, when you write about patriarchy, you get “schooled” by some asshat who informs you that society itself is founded on the threat of rape. That men are bigger and stronger and have always been able to [Read More...]

Sexism, Judgment Day and Forgetting as a Survival Skill

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Sometimes, my mind goes through a litany of abuse that I can’t stop. From my father’s intimidation to the men in trucks who ran me off the road making obscene gestures to the men who followed me through city streets swearing at me for ignoring their sexual advances. From my pastor screaming about uppity women [Read More...]

What my feminism is, and why I’m not okay with “mansplaining”

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I grew up on anti-feminist propaganda. I heard that they were ball-busting man-haters before I had any idea what that meant, much less thought about identifying as one of them. There’s nothing remotely original about my journey from patriarchal indoctrination (having male friends because I thought girls were “boring”) to ambivalence (“I’m not a feminist, [Read More...]

Prospect.org: Purity Culture is Rape Culture

anti-rape-protest-delhi

Trigger warning: The linked article contains a graphic description of gang rape. In fact, the warning applies to all of the links in this post. E.J. Graff at The American Prospect writes, in Purity Culture is Rape Culture: Too many people still conceive of rape as a man’s overwhelming urge to enjoy the body of a [Read More...]

You can’t stop the reign of guns and patriarchy without talking about religion

A gun, a Bible, and the Declaration of Independence: a poisonous American cocktail.

Americans have come to expect certain conversations after public shooting incidents. It’s a stain on our national discourse that we have such a thing as a “generic” response to mass murder, but we all know what it is. Gun control and mental health are both invoked and then made to duel it out in the [Read More...]

Adventures in Egalitarian Marriage: On the Rocks, Please

A man wearing a gemstone ring on his pinky.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve found engagement rings totally perplexing. The part about them being symbols of love and commitment made sense. I got the commercial appeal, too – after all, I was a child of the nineties. I had enough merchandise from every TV or book series I liked to learn [Read More...]

What’s the point of you? The absurdity of defining people by their reproductive organs.

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“You’ll save him. You always do,” says Amelia Pond to the Doctor. “Not always,” he replied, barely able to look at her as she hovers over the pile of ash that used to be her husband. “Then what,” she responds icily, “is the point of you?” It’s one of the most painful lines in the [Read More...]

Evangelical Christian Marriage: Hawking the Product

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In evangelical Christian culture, marriage is a commodity. Marriage books are sold like gardening manuals or cheat sheets for the SATs. The sales pitch for marriage in Christian culture is more intense than any you’ll ever experience on a used car lot. Christians are made to believe that they’re God’s designated curators of Marriage, That [Read More...]

Love is what “we” do; sex is what “they” do

Pot_Meet_Kettle

Justin Lee, executive director of the Gay Christian Network, has just written an excellent post using The Lion King to illustrate the unequal terms in which evangelical Christians (in this case, his 16-year-old self) think about sex and relationships. Check it out here: Crumbs from the Communion Table: Can you feel the sex tonight? In [Read More...]

Ann Romney’s Gendered Martyrdom: “Women and Children First”?

Shove over, Rose, you murderous narcissist.

Credit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’m not talking about your credit score or the plastic in your wallet. I’m talking about public accolades. I’m talking about the river of molten gold that comes out of the mouths of people like Ann Romney when describing (what used to be) “women’s work.” Before I [Read More...]


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