6 Reasons Not to Celebrate Mother’s Day in Worship Services

6 Reasons Not to Celebrate Mother’s Day in Worship Services May 4, 2016

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Mother’s Day brings up a huge question for those involved in worship planning. Do we celebrate it? Do we make a casual mention of it? Do we pass out gifts? Ignore it completely? I lean toward the last option. Here are a few reasons why I think we should as much as possible avoid the whole thing in our worship gatherings.

1. It distracts us from the rhythm of the Christian year. We are a different people. The Christian year reminds us of this. While the culture outside follows the nominal celebrations of civic life and a few cheap knockoffs of sacred days, our time is oriented around the Holy Story that shapes our faith and guides us in kingdom living.

For us, Sunday isn’t Mother’s Day, it’s the Seventh Sunday of Easter, a time to remember and celebrate the love of God in Christ Jesus, a love that is stronger than the fiercest mother’s love, even stronger than death.

2. It ignores the reality of our changed relationships in Christ. We worship as people who are touched and transformed by the Christian story, and in its fullest realization, we are no longer bound by our family ties.

If you wish, go to church as a family, take mom out to eat (make sure to tip 20%), send her flowers, buy her chocolates, pick out the sappiest Hallmark card, but remember what Jesus asked: “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” In him, the answer eschews blood relationship: “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven.”

That’s the way we honor our fathers and mothers in Christian worship, not with roses or pens with out-of-context Bible verses on them, but by coming together as the covenant people of God to celebrate, proclaim, and remember the covenant relationship that we share in Christ.

In that relationship, I am no longer Brenda’s son.

I am her brother, a child of the Most High, and a joint-heir with the Savior of the world.

3. It encourages misuse of Holy Scripture. This Sunday, a lot of us will hear sermons on Proverbs 31, lifting it up the woman it describes as God’s ideal woman, the blueprint for true biblical femininity. That’s simply a poor interpretation. Proverbs 31 is not written as a measuring stick for women, but an example for men (and women) of how to show appreciation for the woman (or man) of valor in their life.

Unless you’re willing to preach a redemptive Proverbs 31 sermon, to make practically any portion of Scripture fit the day requires a fair amount of hermeneutical gymnastics, since the gospel message proclaims that we are all one in Christ.

4. It tempts us to exalt motherhood as the highest calling on a woman’s life.

“Maybe there are women out there who love it—if a woman is not feeling particularly honored, maybe it is a nice thing. The other side for me is the cult of the family, where motherhood tends to get so elevated in churches that it’s above all else. I think sometimes that’s the knee-jerk response, to make it the highest and holiest of callings for women.” Caryn Rivadeneira

But it isn’t. Women and men have the same high and holy calling, to love and follow God wholeheartedly.

5. It’s insensitive to those for whom the subject of motherhood is very painful. In most congregations sit many for whom the subject of motherhood is painful, even traumatic. This Sunday, there will be those among you…

Who never knew their mothers.

Whose mothers were aloof, disordered, cruel, or abusive.

Who still grieve the loss of their mothers.

Who long to be mothers, but cannot.

Who choose not to be mothers.

Who have suffered through failed pregnancies or abortion.

Who have lost children to illness or tragedy.

Carrying on with our misty-eyed nostalgia in the midst of these, some of whom are mothers themselves, is hurtful and potentially damaging.

6. It bows at the altars of family and sentimentality, and replaces Christ as the center of our worship.

“I think one of today’s threats to theology in my part of the church is not fundamentalism, it’s sentimentalism. And Mother’s Day, which as far as I can tell is a boondoggle created by florists, appears to be just another occasion to say, ‘Well now, Christianity is feeling something mushy in your heart. Christianity is mainly feeling something emotional, sentimental, about something.’ And we all tend to get kind of sentimental about our mothers.” – Will Willimon

I used to roll my eyes at those silly Israelites and how they kept bowing to those crass false idols. But in reality, I’m quite happy to bow to any number of God substitutes, as are all of us. Sometimes, the most dangerous idols are actually good, wonderful things, but things that aren’t able to sustain us our faith.

Since we are so willing to invite God-substitutes into our hearts, we’ve got to ask ourselves, “How does this observance recall Christ and the Christian story?” If we can’t answer that question honestly and organically, we may just be bowing down to a golden calf in disguise.

When we turn our attention from the gospel of Christ, even for a minute, even to something good and worthwhile, we continue to worship, sure, but our worship ceases to be Christian.

A Few Exceptions

If for whatever reason there is no escaping mention of it, here are a few suggestions for minimizing its grip on the sacred time.

  • An acknowledgment and greeting during the welcome
  • Printing a brief greeting in the bulletin outside of the order of worship
  • Words of thanksgiving and intercession during the pastoral prayer, with gratitude for parenthood, and also acknowledging the complexity and pain felt by many on this day

We can love our mothers, we can honor our mothers, we can be thankful for our mothers, but we don’t worship them. Since the whole observance is a civic obligation perpetuated by Hallmark and mushy feelings, is downright painful for so many, and ultimately has nothing at all to do with the gospel of Christ, why not simply avoid the distraction altogether?

Buy the bouquet, but keep the worship of the church fixed upon the author and finisher of our faith.

Photo:
Flickr, evan courtney, creative commons 2.0


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