[Jesus watching you be awesome by the power of your awesomeness.]
Many weeks ago I gently, of course, chided Tim Challies for eschewing the institution of date night as not necessary or important. You don’t need a date as an anchoring habit for your marriage, said Pastor Challies, to which I reposted, Yes you do.
Let me pause and say that I continue to tackle this important topic because what am I going to do, face the news? I don’t think so. Now, where was I?
Since that time, Mr. Challies has been linking people who agree with him about how nobody really needs date night, just spend time together, it’ll be fine, but he has finally gone a mile to far and linked some specious attack on Lent. Give up Lent for Lent writes the author, because you don’t need that kind of legalism in your life. I actually didn’t read the whole thing because I was beginning to froth in unrighteous anger (…or was it righteous?….probably not).
But the two–Date Night and Lent–are joined together in the bonds of holy sanity, and so even though I’ve Twice talked about Lent this week, I’m going to do it again. This is turning out to be a repeat of the Self Care insanity. Because it’s Friday, I will confine my remarks to the usual seven takes.
One
Institutions like date night and Lent are there because of the frailty of the human person. This is where Protestantism kicks itself in the foot a lot, and possibly also why I wrote my book. There is, of course, what you Ought To Do. So, go on, do that. You ought to have joy. What’s your problem? Why don’t you have joy? You ought to be a good person. Why aren’t you a good person? Go on. Be a better person. The whole point of the Christian life is that you can’t do the things that you know you should do and even want to do, you just can’t. You are frail, you have no power in yourself to help yourself. Being then, in the condition of sinful frailty, not being able to climb out of the pit that you have dug for yourself, what can you do?
Two
You can cry out to God–that’s being saved. You might liken it to falling in love. You cling on to the person you love, you cling on to God, you are pulled out of the pit of sin in one case and the pit of loneliness in the other. Not exactly the same but similar. Now that you are standing on dry ground you actually still have the same problem. You’re still frail. You are way better off, but you still can’t be good. Go on, try to be good.
Three
That is the substance of the Christian life–trying to do the things you know you ought to do and want to do but still can’t, although, with tiny baby steps, you sort of can, but not to the degree you want, and so you’re falling down a lot. You are frail. The solution to this problem espoused by all the people Mr. Challies is linking seems to be, Go on, just be good. To which I reply, That Continues To Be The Problem.
Four
Institutions like Lent and Date Night are ways of dealing with human frailty. Now, I’m going to pause here and say that I’m not Catholic and I have never bothered to understand the meat fasts of the Roman Church. It’s not about meat, for me. It is about facing my own broken humanity. If I were to give up Netflix (which the author poo poos) I would indeed come face to face with the gaping maw of existential perversity that I cover up with The Crown. Actually, Netflix isn’t really my problem. But I do have problems. I do have ways that I try to cope, that I even, perish the thought, Self Care myself into further hiding from God. Deciding, by the grace of God, to face that deep charming root of sinful frailty and maybe give up whatever I am using to cope for a few weeks is Not A Bad Thing To Do.
Five
The church isn’t exactly overwhelmed by a tidal wave of repentant Christians who have repented so much they don’t really need to worry about it right now. Fasting from something, even something small, Especially something small, forces the Christian enshrouded in self conceit and competence to face the truth, the terrible reality of the death of the body–and to look forward desperately to the resurrection.
Six
Similarly, the institution of date night, the regular going to meet formally with the person you have pledged yourself too, keeps you from hiding from that person, keeps you from being too busy for that person, keeps you empathizing with that person, keeps you in love with that person. If date night isn’t necessary, why do we have to go to church? Just go pray in the woods.
Seven
Liturgical acts, like confession, church going, fasting, processing around the church, coffee hour, date night, saying I love you on the phone, texting someone at the same time every day, setting up the altar, reading the Bible, saying morning prayer, eating dinner sitting at the table–all these cope with the frailty of the person, they help the individual engaging in them to keep going towards God and not fall down in a puddle of inactive, procrastinative, woe. You should do the things that you’re supposed to do, and feel the things that you’re supposed to feel, but what if you don’t? What if you don’t love God? Should you sit in front of the tv and keep feeling bad about not feeling any love for God? Or maybe you could turn off Netflix and go to the church pancake supper and talk to people similarly struggling, and then go back in the morning for some ash. You would say the words you want to feel. Say them over and over and over until one day you’re sitting there and all the feelings rush over you because what you wanted–to love God–suddenly came into view.
Sure, don’t do it legalistically, because the church tells you too. What does the church know anyway? Don’t do it like a jerk. Don’t do it to show off how good you are. Don’t do it as a way of establishing your righteousness before God and others. Do it for real. Do it out of the frailty of your own self, out of the truth that you need help. Your body and soul, so fractured in feelings and desires and abilities, divided constantly one from the other, can be slowly and painfully reunited as you go with your body where you want your mind and your heart to go, as you go to God with the crutches provided by the confession prayer and the creed, as you go towards your beloved with the soothing trappings of an evening apart, unhindered for a few moments by the regular stuff of the week.
Or don’t. Just go be good. Just stand up and be the person you’re supposed to be by the power of your awesome will. AND go read more Friday Takes.
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